banned for trying to rid us of the critics

Banned for critiquing bans.

When can I be unbanned  

Banned for wanting your pre-existing bans lifted.

Banned for bans existing before the time for bans, which is now.

Banned for getting the ban timeline all wrong and trying to reinvent the wheel.

Banned from using alternate timelines as a poor excuse of using someone else's ideas that you do not own the rights to. Double banned because the original timeline is always WAY better and alternate timelines ruin everything.

Banned for wearing ill-prescribed spectacles and not seeing that I was referring to the original timeline that began when Moses was a lad.

banned for going back to stone tablets that had terrible battery power

Banned for not knowing that those tablets ran on solar power.... and because they were so far ahead of their time.... Lunar Power as well.

Banned for losing your tablet for 12 days in the passenger seat, merely because it matched your upholstry.

Banned for I do not take tablets in the car... vehicle.  I take 'em at home with a glass of water.  

Banned for eating stone while thinking you are seeing Moses. I am not sure what is in your water   

banned for playing with the water and spiking it

Banned for dangling your feet in the toilet because you heard that your mum dabbed a bit of toilet water behind her ears and on her neck.

banned for playing in the sunshine and laughing in the rain

Banned for bringing us another weather report that does not apply to everywhere on the planet.... or anywhere else for that matter.  Just cos you're freezing yer balls off up there in the Northern hemisphere don't mean to say we in the antipodes have icy nether regions.

banned for not realizing that i am not that far north and am experiencing lovely temperatures 

Banned for yet another weather report and boasting that you live in a temperate zone where sometimes you get cloudy with beef broth and noodles.

banned because that area doesn't get fun in the summer time

Banned for perpetuating the Summertime blues and disenchanting neigbouring octogenarians with damned rap music blasting from your doors and windows.

banned for going against a class of music and assuming that octogenarians do not like certain music

Banned for calling rap music... cos it's well out of that class and 99.9% of octogenarians truly don't like it... and the other .01% are deaf.

banned for not seeing the half time show for the superbowl and realizing that half the artists on that stage are octogenarians 

Banned cos I never watch that superbowl stuff.... not ever.  Rugby league is the only real footy.... and soccer comes a distant 2nd.