Lobster,

The place to go in trying to help someone is to the source. The community did not do that; they gossipped behind our backs.

You speak with some authority on the subject, let us not forget that on the few occasions when you visited when I was in church you wouldn't even acknowledge knowing who I was.

And I MUST point out, Biblically, the place to go is DEFINITELY to the individual involved.

I could detail the rumours that have been launched in that community about all of the families that have been proven untrue, but that would be both pointless and salacious. I've seen Christian fellowships operate in the past, and in fact, we're in one now, and gossip is not a healthy fuel on which to run a church.

Oh, and since we're on the subject of that community, since when does "helping" involve reporting lies?

The last report to CPS, which came from a prominent member OF THAT CHURCH reported the following:

1. Broken glass in the yard (there was none, and the CPS worker checked pretty thoroughly).

2. An open sore on my daughter's cheek (she has a wart on her cheek, which does NOT qualify as an "open sore", however, we DID see a doctor at the request of the case worker; so much for the "malnourished" allegation as well, huh?)

3. That my wife was kept prisoner in the home. I was not home when the case worker arrived, and she spoke with my wife. She told me as soon as she spoke with me that that allegation was obviously untrue.

Now, please, enlighten me, lobster. How does one help by spreading flat out lies as fact? I really want to know the answer to this one.

You guys have dragged my name through the mud for TWO MONTHS, and I have dealt with it. I only asked to be able to blog on MY BLOG, but apparently that wasn't enough for some of you. I said at the beginning there was another side to the story, and didn't want to go into it because I didn't want to get into advanced mud slinging, but you guys have finally forced my hand.

When I was a child, I knew adults who were concerned about me. They mentored me, they shared meals with me, they invited me on special trips. They didn't shun me. If the people of that Godly, Christian community cared so much, why did they SHUN my wife and children?

Again, I will say, the response was the opposite in Pampa. But because we didn't LIVE in Pampa and because the distance was further than most people wanted to travel with the high gas prices, they couldn't always take advantage of such invitations (although they did whenever they could).

Pictures are worth a thousand words, Gideon. . .

Being bitter over the past will not serve you well in the future.

 

 

My gawd, the garbage in that front 'storage room' was shoulder deep, the trash and junk piled against the house was hip-deep, years worth  of filth coated every surface inside the house (from the cabinet fronts to the floors to the bathtub (gag) to the walls and ceilings, the entire place was infested with RATS, Tim...but there was no broken glass, hmm?

Sorry those evil churchgoers besmirched your sainthood that way.

And how, exactly, does one 'shun' a family that keeps their children out of school, out of the community, and certainly invites NO ONE over to their own (squalorous) home?

I didn't read most of this because it's too annoying.

1) KFC- be warned.  JU does NOT allow you to use a bloggers name in your article unless it is for "good".  You say you don't flame people, but all you are doing is throwing stones.

2)

Gee, you think?  It's a freakin' blog site!  People come on here to BLOG, not to prove themselves to others.

Yeah, we all know he screwed up.  yeah, we all know it's fun to kick somebody when he's down.  Yep, he didn't take help before, but has it ever occurred to anyone that he may have had a wake up call from all of this?

It's impossible to make your life "right" in a matter of months or even years.  We know what he DID, but do we know what he is DOING?

I am also amazed at how many people are on their high horses of righteousness.  Ever occur to you that his wife is not helpless?  Oh, wait, it's easy to say he didn't "let" her do stuff.  It's a family problem- one that they are TRYING to overcome.  How about people start acting like a community and try and help instead of keep stomping him into the ground?

 

Gid even unblacklisted KFC because she treated him reasonably. You must have missed that in your not-reading.

KFC,

May I start by pointing out that yesterday, Palm Sunday, marked the beginnning of the holiest week in the Christian year.  Today is Monday in Holy Week.

I find after reading this forum that, at best, you have proven yourself insincere in saying you are not here to flame Gid. You've been around JU long enough to know others will do it for you. In this you've provided the space for the deed. The "gutting and bleading of Gid" is continuing.

ENOUGH ALREADY!

Who of us is perfect to keep casting stone after stone?  It's time to put the sticks and stones down.

The judgments have been levelled. By now, Gid knows what he's up against. He knows his guilt and he knows his innocence.  Today the reading is from Psalm 102: 10, 78:8-9

"O Lord, repay us not according to the sins we have committed, nor according to our iniquities. O Lord, remember not our former iniquities, let Thy mercies speedily prevent us: for we become exceeding poor. Help us, O God our Savior: and for the glory of Thy name, O Lord, deliver us: and forgive us our sins for Thy name's sake.

 

PS. Thank you Karmagirl for your comments of reply 64. They encouraged me to make my own.

 

 

 

You may not have a problem with him lying and stealing (leaving a house someone else must fix and clean is stealing their money and time) and allowing his children to suffer in filth in real life, then coming onto JU and pretending to be a CHAMPION of children and honesty and Christianity....but I do.

It's one thing to omit facts because its no one's business...its entirely another thing to twist the facts, blatantly lie about them, then expect things to go on as normal.  Some of us didn't just speak with Gid on JU, but shared emails and offers of help with him OUTSIDE of the blogging world.

We have every right to be angry.

Don't you get angry when people lie to you?  Take advantage of you or your friends?

Yes I agree its important to help people.  JU did that when one of its members gave him a rent free home.

But sometimes help is holding up a mirror and showing someone why they can't be helped, why what they need can't be given to them by anyone, but must be earned.

After his history of problems, any help from JU is enabling him to keep on keepin on.

If you want to help him, help him.

I don't have an issue with it.

What I don't understand is why you seem to have an issue with people saying they've had enough of his lies and deceit and wanting to confront him about it.  Why you have an issue with people encouraging him to get on with real life and take care of his sorely neglected children....isn't that helping him?

You're right Lula. Who are we to see a wrong and say something about it. Much better to sweep it under the carpet and ignore it. So much better for everyone.



Oh get over yourself already. She can't control what others say or do. Can you?

If you knew anything about healing Lula (and not sweeping things under the rug) you'd know all the anger must be vented first lest it puss up and burst forth later.

Gid didn't give anyone here enough time for healing, not to mention his family..before coming back to business as usual. He's USED to the state of his real life, we just found out about it and all the lies it entails..so excuse me for not just letting it go and getting over it.

Excuse all the humanness expressed here against your self perceived holiness. Maybe you can pray to your avatar for our souls.

Ok.   I didn't know this about using names.  But even so, had I known I would have said I was doing this for "good."  I think Gid believes this as well as Jythier pointed out.  If you had read all including Gid's article directed to me about his children, you'd know this.  He has taken me off his BL because he knows while I wish NOT to enable him in any way I am rooting for him to change and have given him mainly positives in going about this.   I'm all about encouraging him NOT discouraging him.  Although I believe the anger directed towards him by others is  a given and even he, deep down (I believe) , understands much of this anger is warranted. 

I am of the belief that no matter what one does, as bad as they can be (and I've seen much worse), natural consequences will teach them (sooner or later) that this is not the way to go.  In the meantime, while we should rebuke him and call him on these things, we should also be willing to help and encourage him to do the right things. 

[

Yes, and I'm surprised Lula you don't know me better than what you're accusing me of.  Obviously you have not read all of what has transpired here carefully enough to make this judgment of me.  I'm sorry to hear you say such things. 

As far as what others say, like Tova said, I can't help that.  I also believe they have every right to express their outrage and anger.  I also do not condone Gid's actions but my heart's desire is to help not hinder.  When all is said and done, he will have no choice but to know that he's been judged by his peers, from his actions, and found wanting.  Now he's said he's learned and does NOT want to go back to this.  He wants change.  I have no choice but to believe him.  

In the meantime, I have said and will continue to pray for him and his family. I suggest you do as well.   That's the best thing I can do for him right now.  I believe in the power of prayer and have seen lives changed as a result.  I have faith that Gid is going to do the right thing from this day forward.  In the long run, Gid understands he will be held accountable for the lives God has entrusted him with. 

 

 

You just made one heck of a good point whip.

Field mice are not rats. While they are not desirable, they are not the same thing. When you live in the country, they get into even some decent homes.



No, we did not keep our children out of the community. For the first two years there, we were at EVERY community function.

You and others didn't stop bashing me in my absence, did you, Tova?

You say I need to go away for healing to occur. Why? So you can continue on?

Actually, WE'VE been working on moving on. It seems to me OTHER people are keeping the issue alive. I'm just not shutting up and taking it anymore.

How RIGHTEOUS of you Gid.  You write as if you've done nothing wrong.

Yes BAD BAD us.  How dare we not just get over being lied too.  How DARE we not just get over the way you allowed your family to live while going on and on about being persecuted, and what a family advocate you are.

How DARE we not get over it all as quickly as you did.

Guess not since its obvious you never left.  It was all winding down and you know it. 

~yawn~

There is a difference.  Gid wrote well constructed articles. Lucas wrote drivel and plagiarized.  Remember, this IS a BLOGGING site.  What did Gid do that is against the terms of Use?  Lucas did many things that were against the terms of use (plagiarism is a biggy).

It doesn't matter what YOU think is good- a flame thread is a flame thread.  You started it, and you have allowed others to add to the fire.  That is against the terms of this site.

I hate to point this out, but you can discuss a situation without flaming the person.  You call him righteous, but does that mean that YOU have never done anything wrong?  Has your life been completely charmed and free of mistakes? Do you know Gid in person?  Have you personally been to his house?  Do you have FIRST HAND information of what went on?  How do YOU know what is lie or not? Do you know how he is living RIGHT NOW?  Do you know what he is doing to change his life?  Do you even care, or are you mainly concerned with showing how wrong he is to anyone who will read?

I think we all know that there were bad things that happened.  I just don't understand how anyone thinks that continually flaming him, or running him off the site will help anything.  He has just as much right as anyone else to post on this site.  If you like what he says or not, that doesn't matter.  This is a blog site, not a life judgment site.

 

 

Cool, we can delete comments again!

hahhaa.

I wish.

No Karma, I am not pointing from the high ground here. How do I know Gid lied? He admitted it.

Have I messed up? Sure, but I didn't represent myself as a champion (for hundreds of hours) of something while in private doing the exact opposite.



You don't see the correlation between the hours he spent at the library on JU and the squalor his family lived in? Really?

No, I don't know how he is living now. Either do you. But I do know how he has lived, has admitted to living. So just because he says things are different now its all good? It's all true?

Fool me once....

I don't know what you see when looking at those photos, but I see serious issues...issues that can't and won't ever be addressed if Gid doesn't get over his addiction of the internet. Things don't get that bad over night...and they certainly don't get better in a few short weeks.

Giving Gid a hard time is about showing him how ridiculous it is to take him at his word when he says he is changing, after his own words showed him to be a liar over and over. It's about not buying into the whole, I changed my life in 4 weeks! Yeah right. It's about trying to get the message to him...get off the net and take care of your family.

It makes me sad to know that as long as someone doesn't plagiarize here, they can do whatever they choose in real life, no matter how vile, admit to it here, and still be welcomed with open arms and all they have to do is play lip service to change.

Plagiarism is so much worse than child neglect.

So we should all just welcome him back, forget he lied, and move on, after all he SAYS he's changed. Why would we ever doubt him?

NEWS FLASH, TOVA: Only for a BRIEF time was I blogging from the library. Not at ALL for the last two years. Don't sit there and claim to know things you don't! I blogged from school, work, and home.



No, just pretend I don't exist. Stay away, and I'll happily do the same.



Tova,

There are a lot of things you don't know. I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'm not even asking you to talk to me. All I am asking you to do is ignore me. It's that simple.

KFC,

If possible, I'd like your email. I have something I'd like to discuss with you.

There are MANY things you don't know. I have very good reasons for not sharing them.

Ok.  I can do that.

Truth is I am tired of all this and the heat is just no longer there.

My anger stems from being forced to live like that as a kid for awhile.  You grown up and realize, wow, my parents didn't think enough of me to keep the house clean?  How hard is that?

I've vented.  And for the sake of your children Gid, I really do hope you find some accountability.

 

I sent you an email Gid to the last two email addresses I had for you...not sure if they are still the same or not.  One was a gmail account.  My email hasn't changed. 

 

 

To me this article and all the comments show the true problems this nation and its people. On the one side we have people expressing their frustration over the poor choice of actions of a person who was considered a friend by many and now feel betrayed by him. On the other hand we have those who believe that someone who, even when admitting to screw up, claims to have changed that everyone should simply give him a break even when the poor choice of actions involved children. In the end everyone has an idea how differentiate right from wrong but have problems deciding whether to be upset and do something about it or hope a lesson was learned and just go on.

Everyone has their own way to deal with problems and issues. Some believe when a wrong is done, one should try to help that person by showing them the error of their ways by becoming their friend or someone they can trust or seek help. Others feel reminding those who made the mistakes about the mistakes they made as often as possible till signs of change are apparent yield better results. In the end both look to the same end result. The issue here now seems that those with one point of view on how to handle this situation with Gid believe that those with the different point of view are handling it wrong and vise verse.

The irony is that Gid, with his hardheaded attitude to admit fault but not take the punishment like a man is causing a divide within the JU community. There’s nothing worse than a person who admits to making mistakes but refuses to pay the price for these mistakes. Yes, people do deserve a second chance, yes people deserve to be forgiven, yes people deserve a break, but constantly pointing fingers as if everyone else is at fault, as if that’s the best you can do, making excuses for everything, not taking advise and simply not showing any signs of progress is a slap in the face of those who not only feel betrayed, but on top of that are ignored, insulted and looked on as the real bad people.

Gid,

Like I said in my comments, I saw you as a decent enough person to actually ask you for advice during a time when I felt lost and confused when it came to my spiritual beliefs. I won’t deny I am not the best husband, father and friend to anyone. I have made my fair share of mistakes that my family has had to suffer thru and to this date are still dealing with. But every morning I wake up knowing I have a responsibility to them, I make sure not to miss days of work regardless of how sick I may feel, I do anything I can to make sure they are safe. We are not the best when it comes to cleanliness, considering both of our moms are neat freaks, but I have never allowed any of the places we have lived reach such disgusting points as those pictures show. On my worst days my place looks like gold compared to those pictures.

What you need to do is, first of all, be a man. Own up to your mistakes and put your head down in shame. Accept the punishment you deserve (kind or cruel words from those once considered friends and from those who don’t know you but care for the safety of all children). Some may believe you need not to prove anything but I beg to differ. Considering the Gov’t requires you to prove your children are in good hands and it is tax payers dollars that are used to pay these people to verify your proof, you basically need to prove to us (the tax payers) you are changing, you are making progress. It’s the least you can do instead of blowing people off just because you are mad they “yelled” at you for putting your children thru this. You do realize the only reason all this dilemma is happening is because everyone is worried about your children? This really has very little to do with you. I’m sure some here will contradict me on this but deep down inside they know I’m right.