Get off the internet and tend to your life. There is the biggest solution.

Wow!

Ok, what I see here Gid, is a bunch of people who are hopping mad.  It's like you're just coming on per normal when we all know that what happened here was anything but normal.  They care about your family Gid. Nobody wants to think one of us here would be neglectful of small children.   Many here are living their nightmares all over again looking at those pics that LW posted. 

But even in their anger they are still trying to help you.  They are telling you that you can't just go on per usual.  I mean, what do you expect us to do?  They feel deceived Gid.   We trust each other here.  We trust that who we say we are.....we are. 

I'm all for you to start fresh right now.  I agree.  The past is the past and now you need to learn from your mistakes and NEVER go back to this way again. 

You say you want solutions?  Kelly gave you a good one.  You need to either leave the blogging world altogether or at best limit it drastically.  Set a time limit and stick to it.  As a fairly new blogger myself, I know there is no way in hell I could have done this with three kids at home.  No way. 

You also need to find an accountability partner at this new fellowship.  Someone that can be a true blue Paul to you.  Someone who is mature and well respected that you can trust.  THen you need to listen to him when he says the hard things.  You need to listen Gid.   You need to meet with him on a regular basis. 

Nobody needs you Gid like your wife and kids.  They need a husband and father.  There is nothing here that should ever take the place of what you have in your own home.  You need to make sure you carve out more time for them than you do blogging.  Journal your time if need be and take a look at where you're spending the majority of it.  Don't let your kids be writing blogs about their dysfuntional dad 10 years from now. 

It's not how you start a race that counts.........it's all in the finish.  Pick yourself up, do the right thing and focus on the things that are most important and get going.  If you don't you will be an old man looking back with nothing but regrets. 

If you're going to stick around here Gid, I for one would love to see how you are making changes in your life.  I would love to hear truthful stories about time spent with your kids and wife and how they are learning true family values.  I would love to hear that you have an accountability partner who is being the father figure you never had and that you are being submissive to his training. 

I would love to see changes in your life. I would love to encourage you on with these changes and pray for you as you go.  Otherwise we can only think and wonder if you ever really did make any change other than your address. 

 

 

 

I don't read the Bible much. Not all that religious, really. I just compare and contrast things in the real world. Sin happens, but the key to forgiveness and redemption is to repent and trying to change your behavior.

From what I see here...well, doesn't look like that is happening.

Maybe the Bible doesn't share the magnitude idea...but people in the world do. The law does as well. You know, like how murder is worse than jaywalking? Or say...thinking a dirty thought is not as bad as taking advantage of people's good will. Stuff like that, really.

~Zoo

Well, then go ahead and make a difference.

Start with treating people better, especially those you wronged (and that includes people who read your blog whom you lied to).

 

And that's the main "difference" I notice. You are now directly attacking people, doubting their faith, making sarcasting remarks about their spirituality.

Well, I happen to disagree with KFC about a lot of things, but she seems to be a better Christian than you are. Tova7, I have known her here on JU for a few years, is certainly a good representative of genuine Christianity.

Well, I hope that you meet more Christians like KFC, Tova, and SanChonino. Maybe that will finally convince you to do the right thing. You should also listen to KFC and participate in a local church more; invite people to your house, become a NORMAL family and use all the services the church offers to familes.

Instead you seem adamant about making more enemies at JU. What's the point? A blog community is not that important and although friendships made here can last for good, you are currently not making any.

Oh, and why shouldn't one pronounce your sin as greater than ones' own? You seem to be using the principle that one shouldn't judge others as an excuse not to show remorse, even attack those you wronged. That's certainly not the idea behind it.

 

 

Gid, this is where I am going to disagree with you. I highly doubt that TW's parents have been able to put that house back in livable condition as of yet. Unless I am wrong here, you COULD have used that $500 or next time you have some funds and load up your kids that are big enough to actually work and take them down there and CLEAN on a weekend. If the place is clean I'm sure it could use some paint, or something else. Not ONLY would this initiate fixing your wrongs but would also begin to restore 'good faith.'

I find it VERY hard to believe that there is NOTHING you can do to fix this or to restore good faith. You are very right you owe me nothing but you DO OWE it to your family name to make things write.

You mentioned that you have been extremely selfish lately (on a LW's post) and that you are wanting to change. Only an act of unselfishness can actually begin the process of becoming less selfish.

Just some advise, do with it as you wish.

Leauki,

I am responding directly to them. There's no love in their attacks, and they have made it QUITE clear they are not my friends. Zoo, for instance, doesn't want to see me turn things around. He wants to sip mai tais in heaven and watch me roast on a spit.

LW,

EIC only pays for the first TWO children. Just a little news flash for ya. And the max you can earn with EIC is something around $4400. And we didn't earn the max.



I would be happy to discuss these things with YOU, KFC, because I believe you care. I really, really don't want to discuss them with Tova who simply demands that I go away, or with zoo, who feels that he has the authority to speak for God and condemn me to Hell. In short, they won't be blog topics for that reason.



That's actually part of the rumor mill, LW. My children have ALWAYS had plenty of food, and yes, the occasional fast food mill. In fact, we have not once, but TWICE proven to CPS that there was more than ample food in our house. And no, it's not all beans and rice. To tell you the truth, macaroni and cheese and hot dogs are served FAR more often than beans and rice. Still a cheap meal, and one the kids love. And for breakfast, pancakes appear more than oatmeal. Again, cheap, again something the kids will eat their fill of.

As for clothes, they have plenty of clothes, in good repair, and clean. We have always had a good washer to wash them, and we do laundry every day. Yes, sometimes they looked dirty, but that had more to do with the fact that they play outside frequently, and that their play often involves a lot of dirt.

I'm not looking to excuse anything. I don't ask that you visit my blog, in fact, if you don't want to see me around JU, I'd frankly prefer that you don't. I write, though, because I have a boatload of ideas churcning through my head at any given time and I need someplace to express them.

There are reasons I didn't categorically address everything you said, LW, reasons that are far too deep to go into here. If you want me to shoulder the whole of your attacks and criticism, though, I am OK with that. I can do that. But there are a lot of assumptions being made that are completely untrue.

Take, for instance, the allegations of my keeping Amy a "virtual prisoner". The people who made that accusation KNOW that not to be true. They KNOW that I tried to make sure Amy got to attend every women's ministry function when we were going to their church, springing for a babysitter a couple of times so that she could enjoy herself when I had to work. They KNOW my kids went to the children's group and youth group functions, to VBS, and to family oriented community functions with the exception of the last six months or so when THEY didn't want to.

But see even as I type this, none of you will believe it BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE NOT TO. NONE of you has met me in person (that includes, by the way, TW. I have met her mother exactly ONCE, and none of you have spent any time getting to know me in person), and none of you are qualified to judge on anything other than the condition of our house when we left it.

I find it compelling that many of you feel I have no right to blog here, yet you feel you had every right to speak about me continually "behind my back" (while I'm sure you knew I would be looking at the forums, you didn't feel it was my right to respond).

Look, there was a time when I considered many of you friends, too, and some of you may still be. But it was you, Tova, specifically, who told me in no uncertain terms that you are NOT my friends, and that I should look elsewhere for friends. Why, then, should I care about your advice when you have made it clear that advice is not given out of ANY concern for me as a person?

No, I'm saying I can't undo what's been done, A-D.

I'd be more than happy to go back and work on the place. But as none of my letters have received a reply, I really believe the family wants no more contact with me. And that is their right.

I will agree that it can't be undone.

I would challenge you to be persistent. From my stand point of things I would be extremely pissed at you if you left my place that much of a wreck. It may take some time and continued effort to restore your name and rebuild some trust back.

How are the 'preventive measures' coming along? I believe you mentioned something about family cleaning day and time with dad. Any areas you would like some help idea generating?

This is primarily the reason I am drawn to JU. There are many with experience and wisdom in areas that I don't. I love a place to exchange ideas.

Plus I love a good debate.

I don't have to be "friends" with someone to help them.

But you're right Gid. I am not your friend. Why? Because most of the things you represented about yourself were a lie.

How can someone be friends with a lie?

You're right. I do want you to go away.

The fact you don't, the fact you have no issues showing up around people you lied too, day in and day out (knowing there is nothing you can do in cyber space to make it right..this is a bridge you can't ever rebuild, the net limits the ability to rebuild trust because all you have are words). That speaks toward your character.

If you really wanted to make things right with TW's family, nothing and no one would stop you. Not gas prices, not embarrassment, not the storm of the century, nadda.

What does it say about your character that you can sleep at night knowing how you left those people?

Frankly until you face them, eye to eye, and make it right...I don't think you'll be able to move on. Making amends face to face, and asking their forgiveness is the only way I'd ever think you "might" be willing to change.

Until then, its just all talk and we know what your talk entails.

Lies.

So many of your comments smack of another prominent liar here. (one I believe even the great you have joined in on) The difference is his lies were easily uncovered and your web took time to crumble around you. I'd really like to give you the benefit of the doubt. I'd like to believe that you have moved on from your past. I just don't think I can force myself to do that, not that it matters to you.

You act as though it is us who aren't your friends anymore when in reality you were never our friend. Friends don't lie to each other. I could care less if all of the rest of the allegations are true. The condition you left that house in was damning enough. Remember, it was you who claimed that the city was after you for simply not cutting your grass when it was so much more than that.

I think the biggest problem I have with you is that I know your situation. I live in a rent house that is rented to me at $400 lower than the market price for rent in my area. I get that great rate because the owner is a friend of mine. What makes our situation so different is that I do what I can to take care of his house. We have plumbing issues. Instead of calling Roto-Router every time roots grow through the clay pipes, I dig up the yard and try to fix it myself. When the wax ring on the toilet failed, I went to Lowes and bought a new one and installed it myself.

I realize the value of what I am getting and I treat my friend/landlord with respect. I take care of his house like it was my own.

Wow, I mean really, wow. I wonder what part of JU I was in that I completely missed all of this action going on.

Gid,

I always considered you a very educated, well spoken and interesting person when I read your articles and comments. I guess I never paid much attention to many of your articles since I see some of them have lead to this disturbing article with comments that have me confused as to how did all of you get here from a time when you all looked like best of friend or at least somewhat friends.

From what I can see here, you seem to have hurt a lot of people who once considered you part of their lives, who seemed to care for you. I find myself lost and confused because considering how many people are coming out against you, I am not sure what to think anymore. Was I also fooled by your words? Was I also lied to? Would you have taken advantage of me as well had I tried to help you?

I'm not here to judge you, especially since I seem to be completely out of touch with the events that lead to all of this. I can say this though, as a person who once though highly of you and one who believes in second chances and hopes that people can learn from their mistakes (sooner or later) I hope you do listen to those who, while in a bad mood, upset and downright angry at you, have suggested you do what it takes to better your situation and that of your children, even if it means leaving JU for good, disconnecting your internet and selling your PC. What ever it takes cause as far as I'm concerned family comes first, education comes second and JU (not intended to insult the site) should be last for entertainment purposes.

I am sorry things have been rough for you, but I'm sure you know just as many here do, I am a firm believer that people are responsible for their own problems. No matter what it takes one should try hard, harder and beyond to ensure one's children have as best a life as one can provide (not necessarily that of a rich person's lifestyle). I make no excuses for my problems (and boy I still have some); gas prices, food prices, vehicle problems, rent problems, bills, etc, all part of natural life and if you live your life believing these things won't eventually get you then you live in a fantasy world (similar to the one Col gene lives in). "Always expect the unexpected" should be the first thing every human being should learn about life. On never knows when shit's gonna hit the fan regardless of how well you think you are doing. Just ask Michael Jackson.

I hope you do what is right and I wish you the best of luck. I'm not one to blast on someone if I have not been directly affected by the situation so I'll let the others on this site provide the smack in the face they seem to believe you deserve and I can't help to admit you seem to need. If anything do it for the kids, I will do anything for mine.

LW,

No, the fact is, we have never been "in trouble" with CPS. Not once. We have been investigated, but all it takes to be investigated is a phone call. We have never been charged with anything.

Our response to CPS the first time was a mistake, I admit that. I panicked and made a stupid decision, and we had to pay dearly for it. It was the first time I had ever dealt with them as a parent, and my response was one made out of prejudices I had from encounters with them as a child. This is why it's a decision I won't repeat. We responded to both CPS investigations while we were there in a timely manner, and CPS even interviewed these children that you insist are "failing to thrive".

I decided not to lean on you for help after you kept up with the stone throwing on your article. Frankly, Tova's right in one regard, and that's that I need to communicate with real life friends, not with online friends for assistance.

Then it's time to push the power button, fold up the laptop, and get a life.

Just go.  Just . . . go, man.

SC,

I have a life, thank you. Why don't you try just staying away from me? It shouldn't be that hard, really.

Will do. I'm still confused as to how did I miss this considering the time I spend on here.

After seeing what LW wrote on her article and realizing the truth Gid, I am sadden to see you (or anyone for that matter) would do such a thing. I won't deny I am not perfect and my family has had it pretty hard (though I have seen much much worse) but even I wouldn't allow things to go this far.

This is disgraceful and you have the balls, after doing what you did, to return to this site and act as if you had no choice, as if bad luck somehow has a hold on you, as if you did everything you could, as if everyone else is stupid and you are the smart one. It's a shame that you actually find time to respond to this article. It's a shame your kids don't have their daddy their while he wastes his time responding to his mistakes in life. Just more proof of how screwed up this country is that they won't remove those children from your "care" (man I almost chocked saying that).

God forgive me for even those who are as screwed up as Gid need help. But Gid, do us all a favor, and your kids and hit the road. I'd rather have Col gene posting crap on this site than to see your name and be reminded that I am witnessing the destruction of 6 helpless lives at the hands of a selfish father who's not even home to care for them instead he's here responding to everyone and a mother that makes terrorist who train children to hate westerners look like people who care.

I am so furious I feel like passing this on to a news station to see if by chance they will put it on TV or at least their website just so the whole world knows what you have done. It's one things to be a screw up, it's another to screw not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4 but 6 lives and then spend time on this site making excuses for it. Unplanned child? Next time keep your dick in your pants and your wife should plug herself, better yet, cut your dick off, only real men have dicks (with the exception of gays).

God I'm so furious right now I could give you a beating that the Undertaker would be proud of. I'm off for a while. I need to get away from this, thanks for the info LW. We may not always cross each other in good terms, but there will always be a time when we stand on the same side with the same feelings.

ok, no disrespect LW but really Gid, you need a strong Christian man, possibly someone in your fellowship as an accountability partner.  You shouldn't have a woman you're confiding in whether here or anywhere.  And you're right (as is Tova) someone you can meet with face to face is what you really need.  I suggested an older man as I think that's what would work best with your background and personality. 

Gid the best thing I can do for you is to pray that someone will cross your path very soon, someone that will help you become and be the man, husband and father you are meant to be.  I pray this not only for you but for your family as I see more than seven lives at stake here in the long run. 

 

 

Amen.

If everything LW reports in her article is true, and I have no reason to believe it isnt, then GM's first article upon return should have been something like, ' how I can make amends for what I did to those poor old folks' or 'how I intend to repair my reputation.'  Not 'Sally Kearns, free speech and gays debate.'

That wasn't my first article on return, Anthony, but thanks for playing!



Guilty until proven innocent, eh?

I have stated over and over again I had no problem with LW's original article. I have a problem with the lynch mentality that resulted, which took every bit of rumour as gospel truth.

Comment from LW:

 

Then what exactly do you take issue with?  Other than the wife driving/internet access in the home, you've denied not a single allegation made there, insisting there is 'more to the story.'

Well, let's hear it then.

First you say you had no problem with the original article, but you *do* have a problem with the reaction to it?  What did you expect, Tim?  Should I have defended you?  Should I have locked the thread where others who were angered by your actions were expressing themselves?

You seem to be talking out of both sides of your mouth here...anything, anything at all to take the focus off of you and what you've done and direct it towards the way we reacted to it, as if you're the one who's been done wrong here.

I'm not buying it, and it doesn't seem like anyone else is, either.  Does that surprise you?

If rumours were taken as truth, why not lay them to rest WITH the truth?  Never mind, we don't 'deserve' that, as you've repeatedly asserted.  If I've been lied to by Brandie, her mother, her grandparents, or other residents of Lefors that I've been in contact with,  then please do set the record straight.

I will confront them about their lies as harshly as I've confronted you, and you can count on that, Gid.

But if you can't bring yourself to do that, to get it ALL out in the open, then I think I can speak for many of us when I say we no longer give a damn about the mysterious information you constantly allude to which would absolve you of blame and restore at least part of your reputation.

You're not guilty until proven innocent, Gid, but to date, you offered NOTHING in defense of your actions other than "I'm not perfect and you're all a bunch of imperfect assholes too, so there!"

If the situation didn't involve so many young, voiceless children, that sort of response might suffice.  But it's woefully inadequate in this situation, and you know it.  Still, you hold fast to the blame game....it's OUR fault, we 'lynched' you, we believed every 'rumor' (even those those alleged rumors came straight from the mouths of those who had personal, real life interaction with you) and therefore we're the bad guys here.

And just so YOU know, Gid, Brandie is not the only member of that family I speak to on the phone with some regularity, so if you do decide to give us the 'facts', you'd do well to keep that little fact in mind.

 

Yes I have, actually, you just haven't read everything apparently.




I don't know how I prove a negative, LW. Especially a negative that deals with past events. In a court of law, I have the benefit of bringing in witnesses to testify; here, it's not so cut and dry.

You want me to unload? OK, the grease splatters in the kitchen. While we may have added to their number, it was quite splattered when we arrived. I honestly did not know there was a way to remove them without stripping the paint and repainting the kitchen, which would have involved shutting down the kitchen for some time.

Or I could tell you about how the house was half sided with shake shingles, with piles of shingles remaining out front. Unfortunately those shingles had rotted from sitting outside for several years, and everytime we tried to put a nail in one it split.

Or how about the pits full of garbage left by the previous family in the yard that we had to haul off? Seems a case of the pot calling the kettle black, at the very least.

One of the back doors was so overgrown with those quick growing "weed-trees" that we couldn't even see the back door when we arrived.

And the car left sitting in the yard could not be hauled off even when we tried to do so because of the angle of the yard. WE didn't leave that car there.

One of the rooms shown in the pictures was used for storage...our children were never even in that room except to get storage items out of there.

The toilet in the bathroom that you saw had a faulty valve when we arrived. It was so badly corroded we needed to replace the pipes that led into it. We never had the money to do so.

The sewer had problems with backing up. I don't know why, and by the time the problem got bad, we didn't have the money to repair it. The tub looked so bad because we were constantly plunging it, despite the fact we had snaked it and dropped every chemical known to man down the drain with little effect. We had to plunge for 5-10 minutes just to take a bath.

Because of the extreme generosity of Brandie's grandfather, I did not see fit to get into a battle of "he said, they said", but since you insist, hey, what the heck! You won't believe me, but hey, conflict's what you're all about, so let's get into it!

As for the allegations of feces encrusted diapers, my children's almost diaper rash free existence should put that to rest. Skin breakdown occurs VERY quickly when the body is constantly exposed to human waste, as any caregiver can attest.

The workers at Harvest House will tell you that when we needed help, we went to them. Their number can be found in any Pampa phone book, although they're probably not going to just give up personal information just like that.

We have also used Angel Food Ministries in the past.

I could give you transcripts from the college to show my successful completion of courses, and my tax records will show the hours I put in for Work Study with the college, as well as the hours put in with my former employer.

I did not have extensive experience in home maintenance, and the lack of time as well as high bills (gasoline, for one) did not leave me with many options for working on the home.

Moving cost us several times what we expected, as we had to take approximately seven trips up here before we arrived, with gas prices climbing and deposits substantially higher than what we expected. At the end of January, when I received my first paycheck from this job, we had $29 in the bank and $34 in rolled change. That was it.

I'm not excusing the actions for which I AM responsible, LW, but as I said, there's more to the story. There were many reasons I didn't get into it. But since you're going to sit there and continue to pound the issue, I guess I have to say something.

And as for the fast food...89 cent sodas and dollar menu burgers or burritos because it was cheaper than the $6 I would spend to go home and back. I rarely had access to a fridge during the day so I couldn't always bring food from home.

Since the minute details of my life are so vital to your existence, I'll also tell you...I wear briefs

And for those keeping score at home, I made $9 an hour on my regular job, and $5.85 with work study. The $9 an hour is about average for the area. Not a king's ransom by any means.

One of the reasons I stayed with the paper route so long is because I made about $2300/month. Before the gas prices hit $3.00/gallon, that was more than I could make anyplace else in Pampa with my resume, which was why I decided to go back to school.

And the Department of Labor holds an entirely different view than you do on children and paper routes. Just for the record.

As for the cleanliness of the house as we were living in it, I will take full and complete responsibility for that. Ultimately poor leadership and support on my part caused the situation to reach the point that it did.

One of the positive changes this semester is that I don't have to travel for both work and school, so I have no reason not to be home between classes. This means making lunches, quick cleanups, and other projects are something I can do much easier.

We've made changes such as my cooking one meal a week with each of our oldest three and helping our five and three year old with lunch once a week, cleaning contests, and de-clutter days to manage things better. I still have a long way to go, but I AM working to correct the things that need to be corrected.

And FYI, the reason I am online is because it's a slow day at work and I have no homework due (spring break!)

I grew up in the community that shunned Gideon for his failure to provide and nuture his family. The little town has its fair share of faults, but I do believe the citizens of the community were truly concerned about the welfare of his children. I hate that Candie's family was harmed by his selfishness. I guess you live and learn . . .

For the sake of his children, I hope he finds his way. I suppose we all deserve second chances. Of course, making amends for past hurts is the best place to begin.