Pirates vs. Ninja's

THE TIME HAS COME!!!!

from Sins Forums
"Captain, we have left space dock" informed the Helmsman of a shiny new Heavy Cruiser, recently stollen from some poor merchant. (I don't think pirates and ninja's can afford capitols, yet)

"AYE MATY!!," remarked the devious pirate, EvilTesla. "make Heading for the Shiny thing, and on too port at Belgrad. Open all communication chanles so I can send a message."

"AYE! Channal open"

"ARG! all piratey vessals withen range of this call, Tis' time to free ourselves from the opressiion of the Space Ninjie's. The Time has come for us to gather, and to destroy all Ninjie's!!! Meet me at Belgrad arg final assault on the Main Ninja base. Or, if you are truly piraty, just go kill some ninja's with your own maty!!!!"



(note: if you haven't noticed, this is a spam post. Pls feel free to jump in as eather a Pirate or a Ninja. More ppl, bigger war, more interesting. and don't get carried TOO far away)


off-topic
234,439 views 117 replies
Reply #2 from Sins Forums Top
ninjas win, gg
Galactic Civilizations III
Reply #3 from Sins Forums Top
good eet, you win a cookie!
(I don't think pirates and ninja's can afford capitols, yet)

oh how wrong you are
*phasespaces in right over Tesla's ship with his fleet of Antoraks*
...
*blows up Tesla's ship with a single broadside*
Reply #4 from Sins Forums Top
Trooper #6: Sir, we have recieved confirmation of phasespace signatures.
Officer #12: Very well, we must report this to the Emperor at once.

*several computer generated images later*

Officer #12: Sir, Schem's fleet has entered the system.
TGE:Good... goood...
Officer #12: Okay... shall we proceed with engagement of both enemy forces.
TGE: Both?
Officer #12: Yes, it seems that there are pirates and ninja's in this system...*explosions occur in the distance* .... oh wait nope the pirates exploded.
TGE: Hm... Schem is powerful, we shall wait.

*siren sounds*
*holographic image appears of Office #343*

Officer #343: My lord, unidentified phase signatures detected, they seem to be concentrated on the Phase Gate the Antorak's have set up. They may be massing an assualt force...
TGE: Very well then, prepare brace shields, power up all weapons systems, lauch all garrisons. Oh, and get me a cup of tea, this shall be a battle to remember
Officer #343: Yes, my lord.

*TGE looks out of the big window of the main bridge*
*several explosions are seen, dark ships are also sighted to the right*
Reply #5 from Sins Forums Top
*TGE's ships begin randomly blowing up*

TGE: WHAT IS HAPPENING? *force chokes officer #343*
Officer #343: I...don't...know...*dies*

*Two phases jumps away*

ScourgeOfGod: Good job getting that Novalith Cannon done men!
Captain #1: Indeed...unfortunately sir we could only afford this by scrapping our entire fleet.
SOG: Well, that could be bad...Diplomat! Send an alliance request to Schem immediately! And to the ninjas!
Reply #6 from Sins Forums Top
*back two phase jumps*

*watches calmly as dozens of disrupters phase jump back and forth inside the grav well, locking down the remainder of the Emperial fleet*

*a message flashes on screen*

Ninja: ...

Schod: ...

Ninja: ...

*Ninja hits the accept button*

*hundreds of scout frigs come out of phase around SoG's Novalith*
Reply #7 from Sins Forums Top
*Arrives with reinforcements and a Chiss fleet*

*Destroys Schem's fleet, which can't escape due to the Interdictors*

*Brings in the Death Star III (complete and no exhaust ports) and blows up who's ever planet this is*



EDIT: Lets see if we can get this topic to have the most posts on these boards! W00T!
Reply #8 from Sins Forums Top
*Imperial Super Star Destroyer is damaged in several areas with the front left half almost completely gone. It is surrounded by the wreckedge of over 1000 ships.*

*The Bridge is only partially damaged, but the lights are dim and red*

TGE: Hm... This does not bode well for the dark side. Bring up a tactical overlay of the area Officer #16... and do so quickly.
Offcer #16(nervously): Sir, none of our axularies are functioning, most of the power is currently diverdged to... *chokes*
TGE: Did I ask for you to give an explanation. Did I even ask for you to speak? NO! I asked for a tactical overlay.
*TGE lets go of Officer #16s throat*
TGE: No matter! We will proceed with our plans, but first it seems that I need my servants, and prehaps an new fleet....
Ships Captain: What do you, my lord, propose we do.
TGE: Shut of all engine power and prepare for an emergency hyperspace jump back to the Capital.
Captain: Subsystems are still going haywire, and we can not be certain that a switch could be made from phase space to hyperspace on such a short notice.
TGE: Don't make me choke you as well Captain, you have your orders.
Captain: Very well.
*pushes intercom button*
Captain: Engineering, do you read? Yes? Very well, power down all engines, and feed all unused energy to central hyperspace core. Prepare for a jump to Courascant! Begin jump...

*TGE swivels his chair to face the back of the Bridge, face strewn with the footprints of deep thought and revelations*
TGE: It seems... the dark side is waining...

*A huge crackling noise is audible in the background, the ship trembles and shakes, all around it the stars begin to blur and elogate, the anomaly however is not confined to the ship and soon envelops most of the original battleground and a chunk of the planet bellow*
*As the ship enters hyperspace the TEC News Network reports how one of the Core Worlds has suddenly dropped into its own sun*

Edit: Put this before thrawn jumps in with the other hug fleet
Reply #9 from Sins Forums Top
TGE did you even read my post!? I FREAKIN SAVED YOU!

EDIT: LOL, should've hit the refresh button...
Reply #10 from Sins Forums Top
*kicks both Thrawn and TGE out of their collective delusions, should've used less sedative*

*Thrawn and TGE both realize that their odd fantasy world never existed, even if they did have the numbers to take down my fleet (gfah!, never.) my fleet 1) is unnaffected by interdictors, you twit, and 2) those are my inderdictors, not his.
anyway, getting back to the current state of things: this world is surrounded by too much debris, the two realize. then they feel a jolt as they (aboard my uber pwnage Antorak) and the rest of the ship jump into phasespace. they mourn for their collective sadness*

*oh, note: I've blown up this and all other stardestroyers in the galaxy simultaneously in addition to the plans, the plans for the plans, the planners, the mothers and fathers of the planners, all of the planners friends and family's friends and family's family's friends and their third cousins (who all seem to have been part of one polygamists cult, *shiver*) and thus the empire has no planet killing weapon anymore. I on the other hand, have the novalith. *cough* SoG "has" the novalith*

*note of a note: I've outfitted my scouts with small phase disrupting pulse rooms and marines, as you should realize, I can take over ships now with my phase-outed scouts , its how I captured Thrawn and TGE*
Reply #11 from Sins Forums Top
Oh man, can we just like leave ths story as it like as it is, I had the funniest thing going for me.

Oh well, the more confusion the merrier.

*The Imperial Super Star Destroyer exits hyperspace, its surface is being crisscrossed by several huge crackling bolts of elictricity. The front half shows even more prior damage. It hyperspace almost into the atmosphere of Courascant, and is now begining a very hasty descent*

*TGE clings to his seat, because the ship is angled at a 80 degree angle*

TGE: Captain, what is going on?!?!
Captain: It seems that the jump has drained all of our power supplies. The ship is in free fall*
TGE: Fire emergency booster engines!!
Captain: What do we look like to you droid?s This isn't a freakin' Trade Fed Fleet!! We don' have emergency booster engines!!
TGE: Oh, yea, I didn't pay for those did I? Man, how can this possibly get any worse...
Captain: What besides being burned up in the atmosphere and probably causing a mass explosion on the surface? I don't know, probably knowing that one of your other lackies came to the rescue just as we were jumping away? Now wouldn't that be funny?
TGE: Ya, it would be.

*TGE looks out onto the now quickly approaching planet, he sees flames starting to eat away at the ship, several pieces are starting to fly off and head for the bridge*

TGE: Um, captain? Did you say that all power was down?
Captain: Yes, sir.
TGE: Does that include shields?
Captain: I would suppose so, sir.
TGE: Shit..
Reply #12 from Sins Forums Top
I'll make you a deal, give me every part of my story save destroying 1 star destroyer and having you as a prisoner, and I wont jab you with this anti-sedative. mkay?
Reply #13 from Sins Forums Top
Wait what? I get a destroyed star destroyer? Now thats ironic...
Reply #14 from Sins Forums Top
no, you get your star destroyer from here:
The Imperial Super Star Destroyer exits hyperspace

no wierd "falling into a star spontaneously" story elements, and I severly punish thrawn for his wack insolence.
Reply #15 from Sins Forums Top
Hey, it fell into a star cuz part of the planet got hyperspace too, cause hyperspace is unstable in the Sins Galaxy.

It all makes perfect sense.

Fine, what happens then? Do I captured?!?! WHOOOO!!
Reply #16 from Sins Forums Top
*jabs TGE with the anti-sedative*

Schod: ... (what did you put in this stuff?)

Ninja Interrogator: ... (just some shrooms and their nose hairs)

Schod: ... (well congrats, you got them seriously tripping)
wake up oh "emperor", Courescant has met our randsoms, we are dropping you off on the capital planet

*theres a jerk as the Antorak capital enters Courescant's gravity well and immediately phases out*

we shall be dropping you at the surface, along with your useless lacky.
Reply #17 from Sins Forums Top
*Runs around Schem's ship, oddly unnoticed. Proceeds to the escape pod and lands on the Terran planet Waltari. During the landing both my hands were lost and replaced with pirate pegs, and I also got amnesia. Hops on a locals bus.*

"Avast thar matys! You've just been boarded by the scurvest sea dog! We be bus pirates! And I am your new captain! Captain Thrawn!"

*Proceeds to terrorize Waltari's public transportation system for several years..."
Reply #18 from Sins Forums Top
*thrawn doesnt seem to notice that he's out of phase. no one hears/sees/smells (thank god)/ tastes or feels him. he's... out of phase.*
Reply #19 from Sins Forums Top
*TGE wakes up and sees the Antorak Flying into the atmosphere*

TGE: OH YEA!!! Prepare to face the full fire power of my fully opperation Courascant Defense System!!

*TGE presses big red button*

Feminine Computer Voice: Courascant will self-destruct in ten... nine...

TGE: ...

*back at the Defense Committe Table*

Chairmen: I am sorry to announce that we have had several more cutback in our budget...

FCV: Six... five... four...

TGE: Thrawn, get my private SSD ready, we are getting off this old rock. I've always liked Byss more anyways.
Reply #20 from Sins Forums Top
*In my quest for the Holy Grail, I come to the bridge of death, guarded by the old man from scene 24.*

OMFS24: What is your name?
Thrawn: Mitth'raw'nuruodo
OMFS24: What is your quest?
Thrawn: To find the Holy Grail?
OMFS24: Каков ваш любимый цвет?
Thrawn: Красный. Нет! Голубой! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
Reply #21 from Sins Forums Top
FCV: three...

*uses his scouts to (temporarily) board the novalith*

FCV: two...

*ninjas press furiously at buttons, aiming the novalith at the self destruct bunker*

FCV: one...

*ninjas fire the novalith*

FCV: one and a half...

*BOOM*!

*18 minutes later the beam blows a hole through the planet... um... asteroid field Courescant*
Reply #22 from Sins Forums Top

FCV: three...

*uses his scouts to (temporarily) board the novalith*

FCV: two...

*ninjas press furiously at buttons, aiming the novalith at the self destruct bunker*

FCV: one...

*ninjas fire the novalith*

FCV: one and a half...

*BOOM*!

*18 minutes later the beam blows a hole through the planet... um... asteroid field Courescant*


*Schem can't count and he earns a phail/10*
Reply #23 from Sins Forums Top
am I the one with the sexy feminine sounding quantum computer? (yes...)

bad example.

am I the one with the feminin...ish sounding abbacus that thinks 1.5 < 1? no.
Reply #24 from Sins Forums Top
*Offers soul to Slanesh and becomes a Chaos demon. Summons an army of Naruto haters from the warp and commands them to attack Schem!*

Reply #25 from Sins Forums Top
*force-pushes Thrawn into an inescapable pit of (edited for mindscarring content, but let it be known his fate was terrible)*

do not compare me to naruto again.

ninja gaiden, and ninja gaiden ONLY!