And now, for the conclusion of PIRATES V. NINJAS: SOG STYLE.
*Schod laughs evilly*
*One phase jump away*
Unknown 1: Is everything ready?
Unknown 2: Yes sir!
Parrot: Pieces of Schod! Pieces of Schod!
Unknown 1: Yes parrot...tonight you WILL dine on piece of Schod...
*Back at the Novalith*
SoG: Computer, Emergency deactivation of the Novalith!
*All weapons, shields, and targetting systems on the Novalith shut down*
Schod: Fool! All it will take is a few hours of hacking to undo this! And now you have earned your death.
Commander: NOOOOO!
*Schod fires his phasor at SoG...and the phasor passes straight through and kills the New Ensign, named Kenny*
Commander: OH MY GOD YOU KILLED...Kenny? Why isn't SoG dead?
*A pirate version of the Kol battleship jumps in*
SoG/Unknown 1: Thought you finally had the last true pirate did ya Schod?
Schod: No! Its impossible! Now one could make a hologram that good!
SoG: No one except Data.
Data/Unknown 2: After this will I get my emotions chip sir?
SoG: Of course.
Schod: How did you outwit me? My mind is more powerful than a super nova!
SoG: You don't survive as a pirate long if you aren't smart Schod...or should I say SchematicNINJA?
Schod: You know my name from when I was a woman? You must die!
SoG: Woh! Hold up. You were a woman?
Schod: I shouldn't have been. Being a man just feels so...right!
SoG: Well that's interesting. In any case...
*SoG beams aboard the Novalith and pulls out his cutlass*
SoG: Are you ready to die SchematicNinja?
*Schod pulls out a katana*
Schod: Only after I finish you ScourgeOfGod the last pirate!
*An epic sword duel occurs. Steel clashes as the two master swordsman fight all across the bridge. In the mayhem, SoG accidently lops off the New Sergent's head*
Commander: Thank God I'm too high ranking to be expendable like those red shirted ensigns and sergents
*The fight continues for ten, twenty, thirty minutes. Finally, SoG jumps on top of a console while Schod remains on the deck.*
SoG: I have the high ground Schod, its over.
Schod: You underestimate my power!
SoG: Don't try it Schod!
*Schod jumps...and avoids SoG's blade making it on the console*
SoG: WTF?!
Schod: I told you so.
*The battle rages on.*
Schod: I sense you weakening.
SoG: Indeed you are correct, but there is something you should know.
Schod: What fool?
SoG: I am not left handed!
*SoG switches the sword to his right hand and attacks with renewed vigor*
Schod: Oh yea? Well...shit I am left handed.
*Schod begins losing. Then his sword arm is cut off*
Schod: Its just a flesh wound!
SoG: Don't lie to yourself, just surrender.
Schod: Never!
*Schod jumps out the air lock and into his escape vessel*
Schod: Hahahaha!
*SoG is fast and is able to jump in before the vessel door closes*
Schod: Damn it this is where I was supposed to escape so we could have Pirates v. Ninjas 2!
SoG: Sorry Schod, it wasn't meant to be.
*SoG cuts off Schod's head then proceeds to cut Schod into pieces small enough for SoG's parrot*
*Back at the Pirate Kol*
Commander: Wow. You're a pirate. My mind is blown completely now.
SoG: Well it gets even better, I'm returning to Earth now so you will be in charge of my empire Commander.
Commander: I'm honored sir, but why are you going to Earth?
SoG: To do what pirates are meant to do...prevent global warming, All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!
Commander: In that case, a few things trouble me.
SoG: Yes Commander?
Commander: Why would Schod as a ninja want to kill pirate if they prevent global warming?
SoG: Because Schod was a capitalist, and the only thing capitalists like more than money is destroying the environment. As a matter of fact, Schod corrupted all ninjas to capitalism and that is why pirates and ninjas fight.
Commander: So before Schod there was peace between pirates and ninjas?
SoG: Yep, and now that Schod's dead maybe that peace can return.
Commander: But all ninjas and all pirates except yourself are dead.
SoG: Well then the peace is secured isn't it?
Commander: But why did Schod kill all the ninjas and why did you let all the pirates die?
SoG: Schod wanted to be the leader of the ninjas. Schod was too unlikable so he had to have them all killed and thereby he would be leader of the ninjas by default.
Commander: Ohhhh...and you?
SoG: I let the so-called pirate die because they weren't really pirates.
Commander: But Johnny Depp...
SoG: Was an actor not a pirate and Evil_Tesla was the drink rum and pillage type of pirate not the prevent global warming type, therefore he had to die.
Commander: Oh...ok then...that's a little harsh given all the killing and pillaging you've done.
SoG: Yep, but remember I killed the first sergent for being stupid.
Commander: Good point.
SoG: Now its time to return to Earth. Data, beam the Commander back to the Novalith, I've reactivated it for you, and after that set course for Earth.
Data: I would love to sir! Love to...I can LOVE! Yes! I have emotions!
*The Commander is beamed back and the Pirate Kol returns to Earth where SoG stops global warming*
THE END.
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