Hey Lady, Control Your Brats

I don't understand it either. I tell my boys to let their kids be wild at home - not in public.
Aw - Ma is the usual response. It's best to get control now - while they're small.

I was going to get my hair cut yesterday. While waiting, a woman and her two boys came in. The boys were running around, and the mother was chasing them. I got up and walked out.

I have mixed feelings about this. I understand where you're coming from especially if they were stepping on your hurt foot but I have also been on the other end where my kids are being huge turds and I just am tired of dealing with it. I know they're my responsibility and I know I should have them under control at all times but somehow life just doesn't always work that day.

I think it was harder when they were younger. It's hard to get through to a two year old throwing a temper tantrum. I do think it's hard to be a parent now days. If you get on your kids, people look at you like you're some kind of horrible abuser. If you don't get on them, they look at you like - do something about your kids. You just can't win.

I think they couldn't look at you because they knew you were right. I would have done something similar. In fact I did a few days ago when a bunch of little kids (age 4-5) were running around a few adults while they were standing around drinking coffee. I corraled them and gave them the business basically telling them that someone was going to get hurt as I pointed to the hot coffee sitting near where they blazed by. They didn't realize what they did, but I was wondering where the parents were all at.

We shouldn't really have to police other people's children. I'm sure you'd rather the moms did their job so you wouldn't have to...but ya know what? Pay now or pay later is what I say.

Yeah that sucks, the other day I was waiting in line at Mcdonald's just like you, and one kid ran past me and she hit me and fell to the ground. I helped her get up, and turned around to her angry Dad, who said it was my fault, because I was standing in the middle of the way! I was like WTF? We argued some, and i was so angry, i'm sure i was red, but still let it go.
Bad karma for him, he spilled all their drinks on their way to the kids games, hahaha!! Maybe his daughter pushed him
Bad parenting will get back to the parents. Sooner or later.

Sometimes kids are like that. They may have been a little exited and therefore the bad behavior.

They say it takes a village to raise a child -- maybe what those kids needed that day was a scary truck driver to set them straight. At a truck stop those kids had likely been cooped up travelling in a car all day and had to get their wiggles out at lunch time. I feel for them...and I feel for you. Unfortunately sometimes our paths cross with people who bug us. I hope your foot feels better soon

I always blame parents for their kids behaviour, regardless of age. I am a parent and I'm always trying to keep them under control. I admit that even I can't fully control my kids but I make sure everyone knows I'm trying. I even leave at times just to avoid annoying anyone, don't do on to others what I you don't want done to you is what I always say.

I wish I was like you Mason and just gave them a small piece of my mind. I just like to avoid problems. But lately I seems to be getting a bit more direct with people. I gues I'm just tired of people pushing me around cause I'm always quiet.

I have mixed feelings about this. I understand where you're coming from especially if they were stepping on your hurt foot but I have also been on the other end where my kids are being huge turds and I just am tired of dealing with it. I know they're my responsibility and I know I should have them under control at all times but somehow life just doesn't always work that day. I think it was harder when they were younger. It's hard to get through to a two year old throwing a temper tantrum. I do think it's hard to be a parent now days. If you get on your kids, people look at you like you're some kind of horrible abuser. If you don't get on them, they look at you like - do something about your kids. You just can't win.

I fully understand where you're coming from, I how ever still think that if your kids are too much to control then you either find some one to take care of them while your at the store, find something that can keep them busy (movies seem to work fine with my kids) or shop online. Not being cruel or rude, just think that even in todays age where parents are bad just for tapping their kids on the shoulder, that parents should still be able to find ways to control their kids or alternatives to shop. There's always drive-thrus.

Having had 4 myself, I am a firm beleiver that if you cannot control them, do not take them out in public.

Teenagers are worse IMO.. I was in supermarket, getting 1/2 and 1/2 for my beloved coffee, when I was rudely SHOVED aside by teenagers "hey oldman we are in a hurry, you don't mind do you" well, 2 very very large hands shot out and gently grasped the two boys {there were 2 girls too} by the back of necks, some "gentle pressure" and my favorite shark getting ready to eat small fish grin convinced them that the oldman just wanted to check his 1/2 and 1/2 out  and leave. I never said one word.

So all of you perfect parents never had your kids embarass you in public? There was never one minute when they didn't listen, wouldn't behave or threw a fit and if they did you just went back home?

I guess I'm doing something wrong. My kids must be missing a their "little angel" buttons.

I didn't always have a babysitter or couldn't afford a babysitter just to go to the store or the laundrymat.

I can understand someone without children getting irate. I would think the parents would cut the other parents a little more slack since I would assume they have all been there at some point when their kids were little.

So all of you perfect parents never had your kids embarass you in public? There was never one minute when they didn't listen, wouldn't behave or threw a fit and if they did you just went back home?

Yep.  Oh, they have embarrassed me.  And I took them straight home.  I did not let them continue.

I am gonna go out on a limb here.

I control my boys as much as possible without handcuffing them to me.

Having said that, we travel a lot and after being cooped up in a car for hours, they are a lot more fidgety and grabby in the truck stops.

Mason if my son stepped on your toe, I would make him apologize to you for it and depending on the circumstances he might get a swat or two.

That is MY job as his parent.

But once you put your hands on him, well then you are my problem and we'd be throwing down.

My kids are not perfect, but you can bet if a stranger puts his/her hands on them, well, it's on. I don't care what they do.....they are my children and other adults should have more self control than to go about grabbing them and giving them threatening tones and glares.

If I have a problem with a kid and his/her adult is there I will address the adult directly. Only when the child is without supervision will I speak to them about their conduct. But I would NEVER put my hands on them.

#11 by Locamama Mon, June 26, 2006 10:53 AM

So all of you perfect parents never had your kids embarass you in public? There was never one minute when they didn't listen, wouldn't behave or threw a fit and if they did you just went back home?

my girls use to drive me up a wall, I am far from perfect trust me. I just did not let bad behavior continue in public. I would ask once, then tell them once, then I would leave with them in tow, threatening beheading all the way home.

threatening beheading all the way home

ha - that cracked me up

I control my boys as much as possible without handcuffing them to me.

I try too.

Yep. Oh, they have embarrassed me. And I took them straight home. I did not let them continue.

Now I feel better.

I know my kids can be loud and wild but that's how boys are. I'm not going to put them on ritalin so they can be little zombies and not bother anyone else. If I ever think my kids are the worst, all I have to do if volunteer to go on a field trip or watch Supernanny and I realize they don't even come close to being the worst behaved kids out there.

Now I feel better. I know my kids can be loud and wild but that's how boys are. I'm not going to put them on ritalin so they can be little zombies and not bother anyone else. If I ever think my kids are the worst, all I have to do if volunteer to go on a field trip or watch Supernanny and I realize they don't even come close to being the worst behaved kids out there.

Maybe we should have a blog like our most embarrassing moments, except this time, when our children embarrassed us the most!

So all of you perfect parents never had your kids embarass you in public? There was never one minute when they didn't listen, wouldn't behave or threw a fit and if they did you just went back home?

, nice one. But I think you missed the part where I do try my best to control them. It doesn't always work but it does sometimes. And believe me they do embarress me, I just don't make too much of a deal with it. I do my best to not irritate people but I am not perfect.

I guess I'm doing something wrong. My kids must be missing a their "little angel" buttons.

Nah, I'm sure they have it. It just probably has a malfuntion like mine do.

I didn't always have a babysitter or couldn't afford a babysitter just to go to the store or the laundrymat.

It's understandable, neither have I. hell I had a hard time just getting my mom, my sister or my motehr-in-law to watch them once in a blue moon just so I could go to the movies.

I can understand someone without children getting irate. I would think the parents would cut the other parents a little more slack since I would assume they have all been there at some point when their kids were little.

Hey, we all deserve a little bit of slack. I agree there are some people who are just a bit too easy to irritate. Not in this situation, but I have seen people get mad over kids just laughing. What would they rather have the kids do? Walk like soldiers? Live terrified of the world around them just so they don't make the slightest noise? It's too much. I always expect my kids to make even a little bit of noise, otherwise I would be worried. But to let them do what they want and not do anything about it is what drives me nuts about some parents.

Reply By: Tova7

Now that you mentioned it I didn't actually noticed the grabbing part. I agree that one should not become phisical with other peoples kids. Tone of voice? Maybe, but no grabbing.

Mason if my son stepped on your toe, I would make him apologize to you for it and depending on the circumstances he might get a swat or two. That is MY job as his parent. But once you put your hands on him, well then you are my problem and we'd be throwing down.

Reply By: Tova7Posted: Monday, June 26, 2006

 

yes it is if you are there and they are small children. Lord knows I do not wanna throw down with an irate momma.

Lord knows I do not wanna throw down with an irate momma.

HAHAHAHAHA.

I don't think my kids are perfect, but that's kinda the definition of being a kid....un-perfection. heh.

I don't agree it takes a village to raise a kid because eventually that means the village idiot gets a piece of them. And I have to live with the consequences.

I don't mind someone speaking to my kids, laughing with them, even asking them NOT to do something. But if someone I don't know puts their hands on them....something inside me just kinda goes berserk.

I've always thought that if they are messing with my stuff or my kids and the parents aren't stepping in then I have the right to say something. My husband didn't always agree with me.

So all of you perfect parents never had your kids embarass you in public? There was never one minute when they didn't listen, wouldn't behave or threw a fit and if they did you just went back home? I guess I'm doing something wrong. My kids must be missing a their "little angel" buttons. I didn't always have a babysitter or couldn't afford a babysitter just to go to the store or the laundrymat. I can understand someone without children getting irate. I would think the parents would cut the other parents a little more slack since I would assume they have all been there at some point when their kids were little.

My kids behave in public. It's about discipline pure and simple. My kids wouldn't run around out of control in a store because we simply don't allow them to do that.  You don't wait until they embarass you to discipline them, you nip it in the bud. Whenever my children have even started to act up, when they were little, in public I (or my wife) would take them home immediately. One or two times of that and they know that when we're in public, they are to behave.

My kids aren't perfect by any means. They throw tantrums and such but they don't do it in public.

Mason if my son stepped on your toe, I would make him apologize to you for it and depending on the circumstances he might get a swat or two. That is MY job as his parent. But once you put your hands on him, well then you are my problem and we'd be throwing down.

As a parent, I would have little sympathy for you then Tova. If your kids are running around out of conntrol you gave up responsibility BEFORE they even ran into the person. I would have done the same thing as Mason and would be happy to explain proper parenting to any parent that had an issue of me putting the fear of god into their kid for being out of control in a public place. I don't owe any respect to anyone simply because they have managed to breed. If they can't control their kids and they have physically involved me, I don't feel restrained. I am not saying that you, Tova, are irresponsible. I have no idea. But the example in this blog and the countless out of control children I see in public wear my patience and I have little respect for parents who don't know how to control their own children when in a public place.

I have two kids and I know my youngest has taken a lot of work to make behave. So I don't tend to feel sorry for the weak parents who let their kids run around wild because they are too lazy to reign them in. I see it all the time.  It's tough being the bad guy and I tend to have a bit of resentment to parents (particularly moms because they are by far more guilty of this) who just want to focus on making their kids happy in the short term even as it ruins them in the long term.

If kids are running around like crazy and the parent does nothing to stop them, or even reprimand them, what are the rest of us to do? I ask this especially in the case of eating out at a restaurant... I've had many meals completely disrupted by rowdy children whose parents won't do anything. I've had movies ruined by misbehaving children.

I've never laid a hand on someone else's child, mostly because they've never been physically disruptive around me, but I have spoken harshly (never calling names or anything, just using a VERY stern tone) to kids before, and suddenly, as if out of nowhere the parent appears and comes unglued. Many take Tova's stance that no one can touch their child (which I honestly understand) and extend it to no one can even so much as tell their child to behave, as if I was suddenly stepping on their toes and infringing on their parental duties (which they were completely uninterested in just moments prior).

It's unfortunate that others have to resort to disciplining other's children, but if a kid is badly misbehaving while a parent is present and the parent does nothing to correct the issue, that parent has to some extent given up their rights to complain. I will not allow a parent who chooses to do nothing to stop their kids to ruin my outting. Having kids does not give someone the right to annoy everyone around them without consequence.

The parents here who have issue with strangers stepping in to stop a child from being a nuisance are probably parents who would at least be making SOME attempt to corral their kids. Those parents I don't mind, and will mind my own business accordingly, because they are at least trying. It's the ones who ignore it, sit idly by, that I will not stand.

fully understand where you're coming from, I how ever still think that if your kids are too much to control then you either find some one to take care of them while your at the store, find something that can keep them busy (movies seem to work fine with my kids) or shop online. Not being cruel or rude, just think that even in todays age where parents are bad just for tapping their kids on the shoulder, that parents should still be able to find ways to control their kids or alternatives to shop. There's always drive-thrus.

We have a longstanding rule: the kids act up in a public place, they're out of there! One parent finishes things up, the other parent takes the offending kid.

We've had very few times when we've actually had to implement that rule: the mere threat of it keeps our kids in line.

While people who get bent out of shape about kids whining or fussing in such places (NOT temper tantrums, mind you, those are unacceptable) piss me off, as they obviously don't understand kids, there is NO excuse for a child taking ANY of that behaviour outside the booth. NONE.