The Talking Centipede

A single guy decided life would be more fun
if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store
and told the owner
that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion,
he finally bought a talking centipede,
(100-legged bug),
which came in a little white box
to use for his house.

He took the box back home,
found a good spot for the box,
and decided he would start off
by taking his new pet
to church with him.

So he asked the centipede
in the box,
"Would you like to go
to church with me today?
We will have a good time."

But there was no answer
from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit,
but he waited a few minutes
and then asked again,
"How about going
to church with me
and receive blessings?"

But again,
there was no answer
from his new friend and pet.
So he waited
a few minutes more,
thinking about the situation.

The guy decided
to invite the centipede
one last time.

This timehe
put his face up against
the centipede's house and shouted,
"Hey, in there!
Would you like to go
to
church with me
and learn about God?"
.....

YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS ......

This time,
a little voice
came out of the box,

"I  heard you the first time!

I'm putting my shoes on!"

We've all talked to this guy ... At Last....A Picture of Him .

When Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .
The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar,
you have passed all the tests, except one.
Unless you pass it , you cannot qualify for this job.'

Mujibar said, 'I am ready.'

The manager said,
'Make a sentence using the words
Yellow, Pink, and Green .'

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said,
'Mister manager, I am ready.'

The manager said, 'Go ahead.'

Mujibar said,
'The telephone goes green, green ,
and I pink it up, and say,
Yellow , this is Mujibar..'

Mujibar now works at a call center.

No doubt you have spoken to him.
I know I have.

God Bless little old ladies!

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds..
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a usedcar..

He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car or were they trying to steal it?

'Heavens no, we bought it.'

'Then why don't you drive it away.'

We can't drive.'

Then why did you buy it?'

'We were told that if we bought a Used car here
we'd get screwed ...so we're just waiting.

Oh jeez! LMHO

Vulcan.........humor....hmmmm....   

 Vulcans are well known for their sense of humor. Just look at his face.

These two guys walk into a bar

and the third one ducks.

Redneck Gingerbread House

The other was kinda big....

That's gotta be the weirdest Bird?

I had Jafo try that "GoodEyeMight" thing and damned if he didn't sound like he comes from Brooklyn.

Nah... you'd never hear a Brooklynite talk like that. They'd take you for an alien or some such and steal your wallet or your stash, smokes, loose change, gerbils, nomenclature ......