Banned for offloading your responsibility for the worms to you kids.

banned for not wanting me to teach my kids responsibility 

Banning myself because I can't believe I forgot to keep looking for GalCiv IV starting up. Banning everyone else because you probably did something to deserve it.

Banned for impersonating a Greek scholar and criticising the players of a very complex game that tests the skills and imagination of dedicated participants.

banned for not seeing the roman side of things

Banned for having Romin' hands and Russian fingers.... but not necessarily used for playing the fiddle.

banned for letting your spare leg lead you around

Banned for publicly mentioning my Jake the Peg moment and inciting others to want pictures.

banned for keeping such pictures to help others to emulate 

Banned for emulate rhymes with something that causes hair to grow on the palms of your hands.

banned for wanting to feel the wind running up your arms

Banned for emitting pungent winds at regular intervals and using high powered fans to blow them into the neighbour's place.

Banned for looking into the neighbor's place to see where the wind was coming from

Banned for I knew where it was coming from and where it was going.  What I didn't know was how long it would last and whether I'd need a Hazmat suit to venture outside to mow the lawn.

banned for setting fire to the lawn to prolong the results

Banned because fire is your friend if used wisely and you respect it.

banned for letting my 14 year old try to take over my computer

Banned for roasting Your 14 y/o for trying to use your PC and running up the gas bill.

banned for hounding the monkeys because of their hollering

Banned for recycling hollering old monkeys so that they don't fling poo and spit on bankers, real estate agents and politicians.

banned for thinking that recycling them changes their targeting parameters 

Banned for getting stuck between two parameters and trying to use a skyhook to hoist yourself out.

banned are you kidding me  

banned for acting like this is a joke

Banned for not laughing AT the joke which is Trump and running with the hush money all the way to the bank.