Gravemind: "Child of my enemy, why have you come? I offer no forgiveness for father's sins cast to his son."

Mr. Slam (standing on roof of skyscraper): I am the greatest! You hear me world?!? No onw will ever be as high or as great as me, DAMMIT!! I am Simon Whittlebone!! I...AM....GOD!!!

(begins to lose balance) Wh-whoaa..

(falls off building) WOAAAAHHHHHHH!

Gotta love Twisted Metal 2.

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the dumb ones that need a wise word.

*tapping on glass noise* do I need to start CPR, what's going on here?

-Cortana

"It ain't the fall I'm worried about.  It's the sudden stop at the end."

-unknown

"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."

"Bond. James Bond"

"Ventura. Ace Ventura"

Chinese Proverb: "Man who walks sideways through door will surely bangkok"

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Lois: How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking. Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.

Groucho Marx
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

Jerry Seinfield
Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

Ellen DeGeneres
I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?


W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Alan Shore
"There are two things you should know about me. I am also a lawyer, I always win, and I never play fair.
Thats three things...
See? Not playing fair already"

"Prosecutor: Objection!
Alan Shore: <rebuttal>
Prosecutor: Well, firstly-
Alan Shore: Objection! Counsel cannot preface their second arguement with 'Firstly'"

And lastly:

Bill Vaughan
Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

"When a man loves a woman, or at least parts of her . . ."

this is the point when we start running out of quotes, I see.

The toil of all that be

helps not the primal fault

It falls into the sea

and still the sea is salt

-I forget the poet who wrote this

"Mr. President, if a child can buy pornography on the streetcorner for five dollars, isn't that too high a price to pay for free speach?"

"No, but I do believe five dollars is too high a price to pay for pornography."

Jed Bartlett, The West Wing

This is from a book I have called The Zombie Survival Guide:

"At least fifteen or twenty of them; men, women, children. We opened up at seventy, maybe eighty meters. I could see chunks of flesh basting off their bodies. Our rounds were hittting their mark! They kept coming, they just kept coming! I sighted one and let go a full burst from my BXP. I know I snaped his spine, because the man dropped like a leaf. Legs still twitching he kept crawling after me! At twenty meters, we opened up with the Vektor. Nothing! I watched bits of organ and bone blown out their backs. I watched limbs litteraly sawed off at the joints. The SS77 is the best MG ever made, 840 meters per second, 800 rounds per minute, and it wasnt doing a goddamn thing! What grenades we had only downed one of them. One! His mangled body lay motionless with a still snapping head! [Name Withheld] let go with his RPG. The damn rocket went right through its soft target and took out a rock behind it! Finaly, at five meters, we used the last bit of fuel in the flamethrower! The sons of bitches lit up like torches but just wouldnt stop! One of the grabed [Name Withheld], setting him on fire as it bit through his neck. I saw the rest of those things surround him as we took off for the jungle, a mob of burning bodies squatting down to tear another screaming human torch apart. Goddamn the devil's mother, what the hell were we supposed to do!?!"

                                                                          -SIBERIAN MERCENARY DURING THE ZAIRIAN CIVAL WAR, 1994

If you like that tell me and I can post more

hell yeah

who wrote the book?

seriously, though, with all the Zombie movies and books etc we have, how can someone NOT know to shoot them in the noggan

Max Brooks, a quick google of "the zombie survival guide" will find it. Also if you like it his other book World War Z is good too. And in October hes publishing a graphic novel of the recorded attacks, which are like what I put up there. Ill post another soon.

Do you have some kind of "special edition"? because the names of the two mercs were withheld in the audiobook and the edition I read.

"We fear no beer!"

-A sign outside Pilot's Pub

"God bless democracy! I approve of it highly but suffer from it greatly. This incidentally is not for quotation."

-George C. Marshal

no, i added names to make it better. In the book it is like this: [Name Withheld]

Well, Im sorry. I just wanted it to sound more dramatic. I will edit if you insist.

"Join your voice with mine and sing victory everlasting."

 -Gravemind

"Yes I listen to thrash/speed metal while I shower.  Washing my balls with soap has never been so epic!"

-I don't remember who said this.

Jack: NO… NOT GOOD… STOP… NOT GOOD. What are you doing? You’ve burned all the food, the shade… The rum!?
Elizabeth: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack: Why is the rum gone?
Elizabeth: One; because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two; that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire Royal navy is out looking for me - do you really think that there is even the slightest chance that they wont see it?
Jack: ...but why is the rum gone?!

thats from starwars...

O RLY?

yes, Yoda said it

At the bar last night:

Me: That older chick over there isn't bad.
Other guy: That's my mom.
Me: *laughter*     *pause* Really?

Other guy: That's my mom man.



Lol- true story.

It was sarcasm. What themadmanazn said was so incredibly obvious that there could be no serious response. God, what's going on here today? It feels like we've had a joint invasion from the Blizzard and 4chan forums.

The Yoda quote was in my planner as well....

Samurye.