MasonM MasonM

No-one Would Miss Me

▼

No-one Would Miss Me

from JoeUser Forums

Sitting here tonight I realized that if I were to depart this mortal coil right now no-one would really miss me all that much. That's a sobering thought. There really isn't anyone with whom I am all that close these days who would pay more than a passing notice of the fact that I was no longer taking up space or using up air on this little planet.

There are a few who care about me, yes, but none at all with whom I am actually close and who would truly experience a vacuum in their life if I were suddenly gone. In essence, I just don't matter.

Wow. Isn't that a hell of a thought. 47 years on this planet and that's pretty much the crux of the biscuit, I just do not matter all that much to anyone.

Damn.

Well, in a way it's liberating too. I can check out and not worry about it hurting anyone. That's the flipside of that coin isn't it?

Dark thoughts on a dark eve. The moon has set for the night but the sun will surely rise again on the morrow. Life will continue it's painful trodding towards the inevitable.

 

blogging
10,507 views 32 replies
Reply #26 from Stardock Forums Top

Mason,  step up and say hi.  We, WHO CARE, want to hear where you are traveling to and how things are going.  OK?

 

j

Reply #27 from JoeUser Forums Top

There are many ways to miss someone.  You would be missed by many.  LIfe would go on, but there would be a hole in it that you occupy.  Dont sell yourself short George Bailey.

YOu are a good man, and affect many lives.  My own being one of them.  May this year be better than the last one, and the best of your 47 years.

Galactic Civilizations IV
Reply #28 from JoeUser Forums Top

Kinda late to this conversation. I have to say that if what you say is true than it would be a shame that no one would actually care in that manner about you. I don't know you very well, but unless you have been lying or only saying about the good things you do or good days you have, from what I have read on your aticles you seem like a decent person, one that could be a great example of how this country could benefit if there were more people like you.

I, on the other hand, feel as if I would be missed (at least by my mother, brothers, sister and my kids) alot yet I don't think I would deserve such attention. My life has been nothing but one screw up after another ever since I reached 17 years old. I have never been able to accomplish anything that anyone could be proud of and even those things that seem like decent accomplishments are easily dismissed by the 10 mistakes I make before or after. I often find myself thinking about the damage I have caused to everyone around me, my kids, their mother, my own family. I then find myself trying to figure out what to do to stop the damage since my screw ups don't seem to end to this date. Many ideas have crossed my mind (disappearing to another country or anoter state, becoming a monk or some kind of spiritual person who keeps to themselves, and yes, even suicide) but I find that they too would cause more dameg to my family which makes my thinking even harder.

They say the first step to solving a personal problem is to admit you have one. It would seem this is the first and only step since I have never been able to go beyond admitting and accepting I have a problem. All my attempts to change and fix my problems have been futile.

I am sorry for my long rant Mason and possibly stealing a bit on your thunder on your own article. You gave me an opportunity to let some steam out. Thank you.

Reply #29 from JoeUser Forums Top

My life has been nothing but one screw up after another ever since I reached 17 years old.

End of quote

Sounds like a normal dude to me.

 

Reply #30 from JoeUser Forums Top

Sounds like a normal dude to me.
End of quote

Probably. But maybe I wish I wasn't normal, even though I have never considered myself normal.

Reply #31 from JoeUser Forums Top

Thanks folks. Been a long week or so but am still surviving the normal bullshit of life. And Donna, yes the flowers did come.

Reply #32 from JoeUser Forums Top

And Donna, yes the flowers did come.
End of quote

Good. I wanted to do more but didn't have your personal address and flowers were safer to your mom's address.  Listen, I do hope you're ok. Let me know.

I then find myself trying to figure out what to do to stop the damage since my screw ups don't seem to end to this date. Many ideas have crossed my mind (disappearing to another country or anoter state, becoming a monk or some kind of spiritual person who keeps to themselves, and yes, even suicide) but I find that they too would cause more dameg to my family which makes my thinking even harder.
End of quote

Charles, running away doesn't help.  You got it right, facing the problem does help.  Write the article, it seems it will help.  OR, talk to someone.  I'm all ears if you wish.