Tears and doubts

from JoeUser Forums

Disclaimer - this isn't my swan song, the article in which I threaten to leave.  This is me expressing how I feel.....because I'm unhappy, and I don't know what to do.

I dunno if any of you saw, but some asshole came and left a few nasty comments on some of my articles this evening.  They gave themselves away; they proclaimed their affiliation with SPM, so it's plain that the vendetta against me isn't over.

And whilst I said that it didn't upset me - it did.  I don't like being called a fat c%$t, and I don't like being told that my children are ugly.  I don't like that someone would hate me so much they would like to see me taken hostage in Iraq and beheaded.

It's made me wonder if continuing to blog is in my best interests.  It's starting to cause me pain and stress...things that I don't enjoy and I don't need. 

The Buddha asked:  if you got shot by a poisoned arrow, would your first reaction be to ask who shot the arrow?  Would you ask which direction it came from, what kind of arrow it was, what kind of poison it was armed with...?  No.  You'd pull it out first, and ask questions later.  That's a bit how I feel about blogging right now.  The comments that have been made here and elsewhere are my virtual poisoned arrow. 

I said before that I didn't care....and that was true, in part.  I didn't.  But, I am human.  I can only take so much....and I'm reaching my limit.  I was reduced to tears earlier this evening, and I'm weepy even now.  I don't want to stop blogging; I get great enjoyment out of this site and the people who write here....I'm just torn.  Really, really torn.  My husband is pissed, highly upset that I'm taking this kind of crap, and wants me to stop blogging..... it hurts me to have to go against his wishes...I just don't know what to do.

That's my whine for this evening.  I think I'll go dry my tears and get some cheese to go with it.....

 

 

blogging
5,161 views 42 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Bless your heart, dharma . . . I had written a lengthy reply to your I Don't Care II article, but lost it when I tried to submit it. I will try to write it again in a bit. *hugs*
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

I had written a lengthy reply to your I Don't Care II article,

I deleted it, sweetie...the article, i mean, not your response.

If you want to, just post it here.

 

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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dharma, I have been witnessing this for a bit now. To be quite honest I really don't understand it. I simply cannot fathom the motivation behind people who let hate so consume them.

Do what you feel you must, but never forget you are better than them. There are so many here who love you, try to take some strength from us.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
1. You are a physically beautiful person, as evidenced by the photos you have posted. This much is obvious.

2. You are an inwardly beautiful person, as evidenced by the kind and caring way you interact with your fellow bloggers.

3. You are an immeasurably strong person, as evidenced by your ability to endure a devastating auto accident, the heartbreak and struggle of raising your children and living your life alone for long periods of time even as you worry for the safety of your husband, your ability to successfully parent three bright and mischievous children through the trials and difficulties of childhood, your ability to deal with the grueling and gruesome of police work, and so much more.

4. You are a nonjudgmental person, as evidenced by your acceptance of others, even when their personal traits make others bristle and turn away.

5. You are hardworking person, as evidenced by your willingness to do the difficult tasks that others refuse.

6. You are a generous person, as evidenced by your consistency in giving of your time, money, and abilities to serve others.

7. You are an honest person, as evidenced by your penchant for telling the truth, no matter how unpleasant or unflattering.

8. You are a forgiving person, as evidenced by your willingness not only to apologize to others, but also to accept apologies and give others a chance without the even a hint of a grudge.

9. You are an encouraging person, as evidenced by the kind and uplifting comments you leave for those who are struggling or just need to know that someone cares.

10. You are an inspiring person, as evidenced by the deep friendships you have built here that are based on the admiration those friends have for you.

These are just a tiny portion of the wonderful traits that I see in you. These are things you ARE. The hateful jabs and poisonous comments you've been bludgeoned with here lately are most definitely things that you ARE NOT.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

I simply cannot fathom the motivation behind people who let hate so consume them.

I can't either.  I have tried to visualize them as lamer who live in their momma's basements and who work at McDonalds...but it doesn't change the fact that they had to put some thought into hating me.  They have gone out of their way to come and make me miserable. 

There are so many here who love you, try to take some strength from us.

Thank you, I will, and I am.  That's why I wrote this...

 

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

Tex.....you made me blub all over again.  I don't know what to say...thank you, thank you, thank you....although those wards just don't seem to suffice, you know?

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
It is my opinion that there is entirely to much hate on the internet. I am a new user at SPM and find the site quite amusing and not hateful at all. I have seen the link to your article. I expressed on SPM that I found the comments about your grand parents pushing the limits of humor. In other words while gross humor is amusing, attacking someone who is a real person, and not just a collection of stereotypes, a person who has feelings like even we Maxwellians do, and attacking their very basis a cowardly thing to do. I still must ask though, why did you show up on SPM and start making absurd threats about shutting his blog down? We all know that everything he has said is protected speech, because there is not call to action against any protected group, as disgusting as what he says may be to you, under US law it is NOT illegal. Furthermore, I think it is worth pointing out that he is not governed under US law. If you look at the statutes IP (intellectual property) would be considered a product of the UK, and that by downloading it onto your system, technically speaking YOU, not him would be the one guilty of a hate crime, IP online is the same as IP in print, if it was indeed hate crime material, you would be the importer and thus the person who has committed a crime under US law, NOT HIM. In addition, upon last estimation there are about 100 million Blogs online, if you find his so disgustingly offensive I believe you should simply leave it alone, as opposed to attacking him, and provoking one of his members into writing those disgusting things about your grandmother, which even I find revolting. Finally I would leave you with this quote. America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've gotta want it bad, cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours." You want to claim this land as the land of the free? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free." Its from the film "The American President." Finally, I would advise you that the internet is a wonderful tool, it has many great sites, many places of amusement, my advice is leave places you DONT find amusing ALONE, DONT GO TO PLACES LIKE SPM and start making wild threats about shutting him down, and then not expect someone to come back to your Blog. Honestly, just get a life.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top

dharma, if you quit blogging, the assholes win.

I know, and I've tried to explain that to D...

It just sucks, LW.  I don't want to have to block anyone.....but I'm going to have to.  It happened on multiple threads.  On "I don't care', on 'Dharma's Young Un's', and on 'Looking for a grandparent'. 

I smell what you're shovelling, but I'll email you anyway....

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

Tonyblair, I find it incredibly distasteful that you come here, but as you did I'll answer some of your concerns:

I expressed on SPM that I found the comments about your grand parents pushing the limits of humor.

and that's supposed to make it ok?  And how was I supposed to know? I don't go to that site, I don't know how many times I have to say that.  The only reason i know about anything that goes on over there is if someone else informs me.

I still must ask though, why did you show up on SPM and start making absurd threats about shutting his blog down?

again, I don't go there.  I have no desire to go there.  I have no desire to shut the place down, I never threatened to shut anyone down.  I haven't left any messages over there since our so-called 'truce'...so I really dont understand why you're accusing me of doing such things.  I know where this is coming from...because I said I reported some sites to the ADL and the ACLU.  I did, but I find it incredibly arrogant you to assume that SPM's was one of them.

provoking one of his members into writing those disgusting things about your grandmother,

Oh, that's nice.  Yeah, blame the victim.  I don't know how many times I have to tell you,  I DON'T VISIT SPM'S SITE.  I DON'T LEAVE MESSAGES ON SPM'S SITE.  I HAVE TO REASON TO.

Honestly, just get a life.

 



That plain enough for you?  And don't come back, either.  You're now officially blacklisted.

 

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Aww....Dharma!!! Don't worry, that guy is just some a$$hole that doesn't have a life. He's just jealous because you are such a beautiful and good hearted person. And you have some of the cutest kids in the world! Don't worry I told him off in one of his blogs. I told him how it was for ya! Yea, he's a complete a-hole. He has not a single right to say those things about you. Because not a single one of them are true at all. All of those things he's said are far far away from the truths. *hugs dharma* I'm here for ya!

~carebear~
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
I love you. Don't leave....please? You inspire me!
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
Wow. I'm pretty new to JU. I have no clue what SMP is, and I don't know what started this, but I have to say that this is all a bunch of crap.

I wouldn't say that the people that posted the stuff about you and your kids hate you. The people that have written this stuff don't hate you, they're just pissed. The fact of the matter is its easy to post crap like this. I could sit here for 30 seconds and come up with a rant that is equally a mean-spirited as the one described above about any user on JU. The internet makes it too easy to post stuff like this. Hell people don't even have to be that smart to post on the interenet (I'm living proof), you have all the time in the world to come up with your pithy little comments.

What I'm trying to say is don't take it too hard. I'd be more angry and upset by a well thought out article that was articulate as opposed to someoen that posts in all caps and resorts to name calling.

Like I said, I don't really know who you are (I'm just figuring out your a mod of some sort) and I don't know what the situation is, but even considering quitting something you enjoy over some juvinelle comments isn't the way to go.

It makes me sad that something like JU, which I find helps me blow off a little steam, is being used to stress people out.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top

Thank you, carebear...my best advice to you is to stay away from him.  Trust me, you don't want to be on the reieving end of this. Thank you for sticking up for me though....that's really touching.


Lifehappens....i love you too.  I don't think that quitting is the right thing to do...but it would certainly be the least painful and stressful. 


I need your mailing addess, btw...

Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top

Pidge....it's been an on-going thing, and I'm tired of it. 


I know that what they said was childish and shouldn't bother me, but it did/does. 


luckily, the person in question has violated the terms of service.  I'm sure once the admins get wind of it they'll do something.


thanks for the comment!

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thank you, carebear...my best advice to you is to stay away from him. Trust me, you don't want to be on the reieving end of this. Thank you for sticking up for me though....that's really touching.


Heh, too late for that. I read his articles and just totaly lost it! So now he changed the titles of them to stuff about jesus. he wants to look innocent now. But i think it's already too late for him. He's going down. I won't stand for what he's doing.

~carebear~
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dharma....do what I do...just don't give a fuck. I've been called worse, and I just basically tell those people to "Fuck off", smoke a cigarette to reduce my rage, and move on.

I tried to explain mean and stupid people to my son today...but he doesn't really understand yet. I think this guy falls into this category. So, for you...to the a-hole...

"Fuck off and die, asshole!"

There, don't you feel better?

-- B
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
Man, what asshats. Seriously. The best thing to do is just simply ignore them. A forum that I frequent has strict rules, and one of them is about flaming+trolls. Simply put, don't feed the trolls. Just leave them there looking like a lamer with no replies to his thread, and report the post.

Ignoring them also pisses them off to high hell. Then they keep trying to get your attention, until they finally get attention - from a mod/admin.
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top

So now he changed the titles of them to stuff about jesus


Yeah, I saw that.  Seriously, sweetie, stay well clear of him.  He's doing a wonderful job of screwing himself....let him have at it!


Froggy:  I gave him the finger already and it felt good....I'm just trying to ignore the rest.


Zwei: I'm trying not to feed him.  I made the mistake once before of responding to a troll, and it was just what he wanted....so, this time, I'm just waiting for admin to see what's going on.  He changed the title and content of his articles, but not before a few people saw what they were originally....


Thank you all, and I truely mean it.


 

Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
K, darling...

Maybe just take a break for a few days? Clear your head? Go back to school and get some interesting insights from the little ones?

I know I *DEFINITELY* would be very very saddened if you left...

And l_w is right...if you leave, they win...I also agree with zwie...

Stick around...but take a break maybe...?

Like you need my advice.

*hugs* Just know you're loved, wanted, and admired! You're awesome, K!
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
(I'm just figuring out your a mod of some sort)


EvilPidge, Dharma's not a moderator, she's just a highly-rated (#2), well-liked and widely respected member of the JU community. Oh, and she is an "Elite" level user, meaning that the admins in particular also consider her well-liked and respected.

And with good reason, I might add.
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
oh yeah,
So now he changed the titles of them to stuff about jesus


I saw that coming. I'm surprised he changed them so quickly, actually, I figured they might last until at least the wee hours of the morning to increase their visibility while still limiting the odds that a moderator would see them. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if several more scurrilously-named users show up, post crap, and then disappear, taking their articles with them, before the mods can get to them.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
What a pointless affair. I don't what they are trying achieve, but these trolls are just making themselves look worse and worse by doing all this.

I've been trolled before, elsewhere, that really did upset me. I tried to understand why, and I learnt that there is no reason why. Some people are just nasty plain and simple, and all the excuses they give are just excuses with no validity. So I'm with BlueDev on this, do what you feel like doing and don't give a fuck what those sockpuppets or anybody think about you. Cheers Dharma.
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
Stay, stay, stay, STAY!!!!!!!
Who cares what some jerks gotta say. As long as you know all they say is a load of crap, then who really cares what the say??
I know i dont and i want to keep reading you. So please ('pretty please!'), dont leave
Luv ya heaps
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dharma... I just saw what happened... it doesnt surprise me considering for months now we have been telling people how theses morons work and really are. What gets me is that people on here actually supported them and all in the name of humour..told us to ignore them and that they would go away. Yet here is a prime example of the way their disgusting minds work. They are dangerous and are to be considered so. Online hate and harrasment is the same as that in person and should be treated as such.
Honey you can't go nowhere. You got to stay and shine the light on here just like you always have. Your the inspiration to many people including myself.
This is online harrassment. It needs to stop and if every one on here that tells you that they love you or want you to stay means it from their heart they will do something about this with you and get this stopped dead in its track.
SPM is a dangerous man and so are all his followers. They need really to look at their actions at the moment because it has gone on enough.
I love you and know you are stronger than these assholes.
xo
P
Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top

It would be nice if All the people that belonged to blog sites actually joined Primarily to "BLOG"....and not just to put down other ppl's writing...

Unfortunately, there are morons out there who make it a point to go looking for blogs to Ridicule.......doesnt that make THEM the pathetic ones with no lives??

hope you are feeling better.