First Conflict

What do you think of it?

Not bad, especially for having English as a second language. I've seen native English speakers with worse grammar than that, so no worries

Next time add some more to it, like having the narrator be the all-knowing type that tells you what the characters are thinking.

Perhaps opening with one of the ensigns thoughts, like:

Why the hell am I sitting here staring down the jaws of death itself, and piloting the ship forward ?

Lieutenant Tom Smith interupted Ensign Joe Murray's thought, "Thats right Ensign, slow and steady."

Oh yeah, thats why...

Perhaps something like that.

Never thought I'll continue this, but here it is.

-With all due respect Admiral, ARE YOU NUTS!? - Commodore Amelia Barnes asked.
Admiral Takahara just rolled his eyes.
-No Commodore I'm haven't gone nuts, I'm just asking you to investigate the disappearance of Heavy fighter "Storm breaker". Ship's just don't vanish into vacuum like that.
-I know, sir. - Amelia responded - But this task should be handled by an frigate, not by an dreadnought.
-Yes I know but I have a bad feeling.
-A bad feeling doesn't justify sending an dreadnought into a wild goose chase. I really wouldn't argue in peace times but with the Drengin on our backs...
-Commodore, just execute my order, please.
Amelia knew that this "please" would turn into a "right now" so she didn't argue any more.


Crap, that doesn't look good
Somebody, please tell me, who the in the bloody hell repaired Phaser Capacitor 3!? - asked Alexander McGregor, chief engineer of TAS "Agamemnon".
Uhh, that would be me, sir. - responded one of the engineer
-Oh, then tell me why the hell did you put an copper circuit in the capacitor instead
of a standard kirelium super-conductor? - Anger could be heard in Alex's voice even with his Scottish accent
-Umm. I don't know, sir.
-Ohh, well then you better find an answer because your scrubbing plasma conduits for the next month.
The engineer gulped at the very thought of the boring and time taking job.
-Yes, sir
Damn rookies, they'll always find a way to break your day
Suddenly he heard Commodore's voice trough the intercom
- Chief, are we good to go.
- Yeah, just some moron put copper electrical conduits into a phaser capacitor, It will take us about half an hour to replace them.
-Good 'cause we're heading out
-Were?
- You won't belive but right into the middle of nowhere.

Looks like someone's heading for trouble

Yeah! Nice job learning English as a second lanquage, its probably the most F^^^ing hard lanquage to learn these days

Ha ha ha, try learning polish. English is REALLY easy when compared to it.

TAS "Agamemnon" and it's escort of five Orion class frigates and a swarm of X-21 "Phoenix Star" fighters flew trough vacuum at tremendous speeds.

On the bridge Ensign Thomas Wilk sat behind helm. But he certainly wasn't interested in piloting the ship.
-Ensign - he suddenly heard Jack Garner's (the ship's first officer) voice- what are you
doing?
- Same as always, sir. Reading. -he responded not even raising his sight from the book.
- Well, you should be piloting the ship.
- I know, I know but the ship's on autopilot!
- Ensign leave that book and get back to work!
Tom rolled his eyes, put the book away and said:
- Yes, sir! Right on it' sir! Getting back to doing nothing at all, sir!
Garner walked away irritated. Tom waited few seconds and started reading the book again.
"To hell with discipline. What could happen anyway?"- he thought
Suddenly the ship shook. And it shook badly.

-What the bloody hell?!- Asked Alex.
He was responded by
- All hands Yellow Alert! We have been brought out of Warp!

Commodore Barnes looked at the organic ship shown at the view screen.
- How did this thing brought us out of warp?
- Unknown ma'am. - responded the ships tactical officer, Boria Lomonosov.
- Thank you very much lieutenant that really helped! - responded Amelia sarcastically
- What the hell happened to the discipline? - muttered Jack Garner under his nose
Lieutenant Manchisco looked at her console in disbelief. "Holy S**t! That's enough power to melt down Greenland!"
-Sir! Sensors are picking up a massive power surge!

nice. Although you might want to look at other people's AARs to find ideas about how to write this.

Just a suggestion.

Let him have his own style if he likes it,

TAS "Atlantis" was the first one to be destroyed. A massive violet blue beam shot out
from between the tentacles. The beam easily cut trough the shields and turned the frigate into a ball of flames and radiation.

Everyone on the bridge of "Agamemnon" watched in horror as the frigate exploded.
Garner was the first one to react:
- Ensign! Evasive maneouvers!
Wilk didn't even confirm the order. He increased thrust to maximum and activated the ships port maneouvering thrusters. "Agamemnon" started to turn starboard.
Barnes activated fleet comms channel:
- All vessels, attack enemy ship, random attack patterns!
- Sir! Enemy vessel is firing secondrary weapons! - Lomonosov reported
- Brace for impact!
One beam struck the ship. The ship shook badly, luckily nothing exploded.
- Shields are down 93%!
- After one hit!? - Garner responded disbelieving.
- Yes, sir! - Lomonosov looked at the display. - Commodore, we're in trouble! They've launched fighters!
- Damn...
The ship shook again. just this time it was much worse.
- Shields at 85%!
Barnes activated the fleet comms.
- All fighters engage enemy strike craft!
- Wilk! How about those evasive maneovers! - Garner screamed.
- That's a 3 kilometer long ships, sir!

- Alpha 3, cover my wing! - Paul Novak heard Lieutenant Tanaka's order in his EV suits microphone.
- Yes, sir!
Suddenly Tanaka's fighter explode.
- Crap!
He strafed to port and pulled "up"... Right in time to see three cocons fly out of the enemy ship in the direction of the "Agamemnon".
He immidietly opend a comms channel.
- "Agamemnon", you have three bogeys! They seem to be boarding pods!
Suddenly his fighter was hit.

-Shields are down to 21%!
The bridge was a mess, consoles were burning, medical teams were tending to wounded,
Commander Garner layed on the floor, a shrapnel in his neck.
- Lomonosov, redirect main phasor batteries to enemy boarding pods!
- Aye, Aye, sir!
Phasor batteries unloaded their deadly barrage. Two boarding pods exploaded, the third one came under the shield level and fired it's weapon.

Nice, just like Star Trek! Did you get Star Trek in Poland?

No, unfortunetly. There's little Star Trek in Poland.

Jack McNeal and his security team runned as quickly as they could towards the dameged part of the hull. They weren't engineers, they were marines. The beam hit the hull and dissapated just before breaching it. It left just a few milimeters of metal.
The team arrived.
The blastdoors on the other side of the corridor were closed. And between them, and the blastdoors stood an alien. It was 2 meters tall and it had some sort of a coat.
Jack motioned one of his soldiers to kill it. The marine raised his phasor rifle, took aim, and pressed the trigger. The alien, in a incredibly fast move dodged the deadly blast, turned around. It carried only two weapons: a pistol and a sword. More than enough. The alien raised his(or hers) gun.
- Open fire!- Jack screamed.
A massive barrage of phasor fire erupted in the corridor just barely missing the damaged part of the hull. And the alien easily dodged every shot. And fired back.
Three marines fallen with fist sized holes in their heads.
- Fall back! - Jack screamed.
The team started to pull back, still firing.

Amelia watched two battles. One in space, one on her ship.
And neighter was looking good.
They took out all enemy fighters, but lost all of theirs, along with an another frigate. At least they could change the fate of the second battle.
- McGregor! - she said to the intercom - Flood section 147, deck 21 with drive plasma.
- Rodger that cap'n! I'll se what I can do.

Jack's team continued to pull back. The alien fired two more blasts. Two more dead bodies. And suddenly they were saved. Sections blastdoor, designed to resist something as hot as plasma, closed right before them cutting the alien's way. Jack sighed with relief, but he knew that this was not over yet. That bloody bastard would find a way trough. And suddenly they heard an incredibly loud scream of agony, so loud that it could be heard trough the blastdoor.

- Enemy invader neutarlized, sir - Alex's responded - Probably nothing but carbon scorching left out of him.
- Good, Now let's take care of our last problem.
Suddenly the ship shook under heavy fire from enemy vessel. Shields went down in just few seconds. Weapons went down on "Agamemnon" in a few next.
- Weapons are down! Hull integrity at 71%! - Lomonosov informed nearly panicking.
Alex's voice came trough the intercom
Commodore, those bastards just damaged our hiperdrive! I'm think I can fix it but...
Explosion could be heard trough the intercom.
-Alex!?
-Sir, enemy vessel has ceased firing, they are attacking the frigates. - Lomonbosov informed.
- Manchisco, any weaknes in their shielding!?
- No, sir, I don't even know how big output does this thing have!

The three frigates came in a formation, intent on getting below the enemy ships shields. "Danube" was destroyed first.
Two remaining frigates, "Aquaris" and "Saladin" made a tactical mistake of attacking from the front. The main weapon fired for the second time.

Wilk looked in horror at the explosion of the "Aquaris". He was sure that the "Saladin" was taken out in the explosion. But the frigate came out of the fire, it's remaining guns blasing. It got under the enemy vessel's shield level. Wilk was sure that they would now pull out, and then attack again. But they didn't. "Saladin" crashed right into the enemy ship. The explosion was blinding.

Everyone on the bridge of "Agamemnon" looked at the point were "Saladin" crashed with the enemy ship.
There was relief in their eyes.
They made it.
Many died.
But they survived.

Nice.....

Crap. Double post!