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Whatta Bunch o Boolshid!

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Whatta Bunch o Boolshid!

from JoeUser Forums
Long ago I stopped playing the if I am mad at someone, it means you as my friend/brother/sister/wife/husband MUST BE mad at them too.

What is this grade school? Obviously this is another article about little whip, I have always adored her, never cared for Simon at all,
While I will miss whip my world was whole long before I met her and will be whole long after she is gone.

As for Simon, who really cares if he is exiled? I sure do not, I have never bothered reading his stuff except for a couple times and that was out of loyalty to whip, I never commented on his blathering.

I am not here to make real world friends I have those, I am not here to please anyone except myself.

Brad can be a large pain, so what? so Can I.

Was brad wrong exiling Simon? who cares? Brads site, brads rules, you do not like it, leave, no one had nailed you to the caberfloor here.

Will I miss whip, yep, I remember once before when she split, I felt like my muse deserted me, but life went on, I even blogged about missing her, because I did, but life went on.

Sure I could have the instant satisfaction of telling admin to go fuck themselves, but there are consequences if I do, I will be gone and the world will go on.

I have been here for 16 months, the site was here, up and running before I came will be up and running after I leave.

I have never been elevated in status, so what? I have my own status it's called personal status, anything someone gives you is called vested status and can be taken as easy as given, NO ONE can Take my status because it is earned by me and kept by me.

I am old enough to understand people come, people go in my life and life goes on either way.

I refuse to play grade school games, if you think you are my cyberfriend and think I will leave here because YOU DO, get a clue, I won't, I will leave when I am damned good and ready or when brad tires of me. either way life goes on.
blogging
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Reply #26 from JoeUser Forums Top
Baker:
I guess I just wonder what you think you can do to support someone in this situation, Tex. When you say 'stand beside' it sounds like an 'us versus them' situation, and this really isn't one.


I wouldn't expect YOU to do anything, really. I think a lot of this got waaaay blown out of proportion (and a big chunk of that is my fault). I saw a lot of people who were tight with LW or at the very least were typically vocal supporters of her work and her as a person saying rude things about her husband and essentially congratulating Brad for banning him.

To me it was unexpected and disappointing.

I don't understand why people who consider themselves supporters and friends COULDN'T agree with Brad.


That's not really a problem, imo. What bothered me was the way it was carried out.

Tova:
Tex if LW woulda been banned for something I didn't think was justified I can honestly say I'd have followed....but she wasn't banned. She chose to follow her monster. None of us are so obliged. And really besides LW who among us has EoIC endeared himself to such a degree they would stop doing this, something they like, for him?


I don't think "following" is a requirement (nor is the disagreeing with the banishment). Publicly blasting her husband (at length, repeatedly), whom she dearly loves is pretty rough, don't you think?

My husband's done some shitty stuff. He's said some shitty stuff on here before (got banned for it too, haha). That doesn't mean I am OK with ANYONE on here taking a public accounting of the faults they perceive in him.

Deference:
Boy, would I like to have been a fly on the wall during those conversations.




Hmm. Some roll easy.


That's disappointing to me. Perhaps I am just too naive.

MM:
There are some personas here I am drawn to, tex


No persona here.
Reply #27 from JoeUser Forums Top
I consider Sabrina a friend. She and I have been through a lot, and we too have had many conversations away from JU. She knows some of my secrets. I know some of hers. She's my friend.

I consider her husband an acquaintance. He and I have talked occasionally. I don't know his secrets, he doesn't know mine. He's just an acquaintance.

Was I betraying her friendship by writing the 'golden rule' article? I don't think so. Some people might say that I wasn't 'standing by' her by saying that, but I disagree. She's still my friend, he's still my acquaintance. I'm ticked at him for getting exiled and taking LW away from something that she's said before keeps her sane some days. As for her - well, I understand why she left. I'd do the same thing if it were Dave that got exiled.

Sabrina knows how I feel. And that's all that really matters.
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Reply #28 from JoeUser Forums Top
The saddest part, I think, is that by the time Brad posted his explaination of being tired, the whole thing would have been blown over. Given a day or two I think LW could have lobbied his return if he hadn't written off the site completely.

I mean, how many times have some other people been exiled and returned? Hell, SPM is posting here again. If bruised feelings are more important than blogging here, I tend to think no one would have gotten as mad as they did. Evidently to get their feelings this hurt it must mean a lot.

I think it is indicative of "power issues", frankly. People who generally storm off for two reasons. Either they aren't well-liked here, which begs that they might be happier elsewhere, or they want an environment where they can say whatever they want with no one "over" them.

It's never real expression that gets people canned. It's stuff uttered off the top of their heads or secondary feuds that have little to do with their ideals. I don't remember seeing anyone exiled from here for expressing their real beliefs, outside of being hateful in the process.
Reply #29 from JoeUser Forums Top
I don't think "following" is a requirement (nor is the disagreeing with the banishment). Publicly blasting her husband (at length, repeatedly), whom she dearly loves is pretty rough, don't you think?


People blast my husband all the time. I understand LW's stance but if you take the fact that Simon is her husband out of the picture, her response was very inconsistant with past responses regarding other bloggers. She has defended Brad for much less offensive remarks but I suspect she had an agenda regarding those bloggers. She was 'blinded by love' in this case. I can't blame her for that but I don't see how fervently denouncing her husband is 'doing an about-face' in regards to LW.

TW, you and I are still babies in terms of experience with online communities. Brad and many others on here have had many years of experience with this stuff. They can probably pretty much predict which bloggers are going to self destruct and when in the same way teachers can usually spot students who are 'gifted', 'troubled', etc. It is a matter of experience. I am sure they are pleasantly surprised sometimes but not often.

I couldn't tell you how many times I have made a comment about a blogger only to have Brad say "Yeah, but I bet in __ months they will be doing ___." I will give him a "Yeah, whatever." and sure enough, more often than not the exact thing he predicted will happen. He isn't omnipotent (although he would argue that ) he has just had a vast amount of experience.

He and Karma had told me when I stated blogging that the communities always go through cycles. I have blogged long enough now to see that they were right on the money. I felt condescended by some of their guidance but now I see it for what it is. I am a youngling who is still learning the ways of the force. They are the masters showing me the way

It's never real expression that gets people canned. It's stuff uttered off the top of their heads or secondary feuds that have little to do with their ideals. I don't remember seeing anyone exiled from here for expressing their real beliefs, outside of being hateful in the process.


Another insightful for Baker!
Reply #30 from JoeUser Forums Top
Jill:
People blast my husband all the time.


And if I were you, THAT would make me furious, too. You are far more diplomatic than I am...I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut.

I can't blame her for that but I don't see how fervently denouncing her husband is 'doing an about-face' in regards to LW.


Perhaps I'm blinded to it as well. I was just disappointed by the way things played out.

TW, you and I are still babies in terms of experience with online communities.


Very true. This is my first (and only) one.

Brad and many others on here have had many years of experience with this stuff. They can probably pretty much predict which bloggers are going to self destruct and when in the same way teachers can usually spot students who are 'gifted', 'troubled', etc. It is a matter of experience. I am sure they are pleasantly surprised sometimes but not often.


I believe it.
Reply #31 from JoeUser Forums Top

Someone else made this observation which I think had a lot of merit:

I'm a pretty consistent guy if one looks at things over the last couple of years.  Simon must have known what would happen to him if he escalated the issue that I had just warned him about. 

So in essence, Simon put his own ego ahead of his wife's enjoyment.

Reply #32 from JoeUser Forums Top
For deference, I am 59 years old and have knocked aaround a bit, I know what friends are "TO ME" I will not argue what friends are to YOU, please show me the same respect., - Moderateman

I speak boldly, but please don't misread it as disrespect for you or your opinion.

I think a stronger argument for friendship can be made by a definition different then the one you offered (one I followed, myself, for years). I'll not make any attempt to serve you any of those arguments now.

So in essence, Simon put his own ego ahead of his wife's enjoyment. - Draginol

Tying up loose ends and enjoy the heck out of his very own blog site - that's gotta' feel pretty dern good.
Reply #33 from JoeUser Forums Top
Reply By: DraginolPosted: Wednesday, March 01, 2006Someone else made this observation which I think had a lot of merit:I'm a pretty consistent guy if one looks at things over the last couple of years. Simon must have known what would happen to him if he escalated the issue that I had just warned him about. So in essence, Simon put his own ego ahead of his wife's enjoyment.


I disagree brad, simon is simon and does not even think to whips enjoyment{here } Sometimes men get into pising contests and that is what I saw with you and simon, 2 men seeing who can piss further, you win because it is your site, if this was simons site he would have won, simple as that.
Reply #34 from JoeUser Forums Top
#32 by Deference
Wednesday, March 01, 2006


speak boldly, but please don't misread it as disrespect for you or your opinion.


thank you def, although we tend to disagree on just about everything I do respect you and your opinions.
Reply #35 from JoeUser Forums Top
I don't care if it makes people on JU like me less because I've chosen to be supportive of her. She has done the same for me many times over. I have no use for "fair weather friends".


Your loyalty to Sabrina is right and proper. But be careful not to fall into the trap of misinterpreting others' actions as a lack of loyalty.

I, too, owe much to Sabrina (and to Simon, though I disagree with 99% of what he has to say). And I owe much to you. But I owe as much to Brad, Karma, Jill, and those on the other side of the fence. And it is horribly unfair to expect me to choose sides.
Reply #36 from JoeUser Forums Top
More than anything I think what was bothersome to LW (although I doubt Simon cares, lol) was the fact that people who had consistently been supporters and fans of hers quickly did an about-face and began praising Brad for his decision.


For the record, I didn't praise Brad for his decision. I expressed empathy for his exhaustion. I've been there.
Reply #37 from JoeUser Forums Top
For the record, what got me into it was that I was called out BY NAME.
Reply #38 from JoeUser Forums Top
Gideon:
But be careful not to fall into the trap of misinterpreting others' actions as a lack of loyalty.


Fair enough.

I, too, owe much to Sabrina (and to Simon, though I disagree with 99% of what he has to say). And I owe much to you. But I owe as much to Brad, Karma, Jill, and those on the other side of the fence. And it is horribly unfair to expect me to choose sides.


You don't OWE anything to me, Gideon. Any friendship or care or anything else I've ever extended you has been extended without expectation. If I were being picked apart on here or having any number of other personal problems a person could have, I would hope that you would be one of the people who would care enough to come to my defense or offer a helping hand or whatever the situation warranted. Not because you feel you *should* or *have to* but because you want to.

I don't believe I ever said that you should take sides. I did feel like you took a side, while stating that you would not take a side. I may have misinterpreted your actions, and if that's the case, I sincerely apologize. As I've said, I was just disappointed by how things played out.
Reply #39 from JoeUser Forums Top
MM stayin outta the gid tex thing..
Reply #40 from JoeUser Forums Top
This is the very last thing I will say on the subject.

I was a total jerk about Simon. He never said anything to me personally which warranted my attacks. I was angry LW left, so I took it out on her husband. And how crappy a thing is that to do to someone I like?

Not one of my brightest moments.

I've apologized to her, and I do so now to all of you for dropping those little turds and just basically being a bitch about the whole thing.
Reply #41 from JoeUser Forums Top
40 by Tova7
Thursday, March 02, 2006


This is the very last thing I will say on the subject.

I was a total jerk about Simon. He never said anything to me personally which warranted my attacks. I was angry LW left, so I took it out on her husband


that is a very human thing to do tova, do not be so hard on yourself, maybe a e-mail to whip is in order if you chose to patch things up.
Reply #42 from JoeUser Forums Top
I was a total jerk about Simon. He never said anything to me personally which warranted my attacks. I was angry LW left, so I took it out on her husband. And how crappy a thing is that to do to someone I like?

Not one of my brightest moments.


Very admirable, Tova. And I agree with MM...don't be so hard on yourself. I think emotions were running really high throughout all of this and many of us got a bit carried away.
Reply #43 from JoeUser Forums Top
This "persona" is drawn to you too Elie!


It's not easy when stuff like this happens to anyone, especially when it affects someone who is loved by many, (whether that be a love/hate relationship, it's of no consequence which it is) but it will affect a community no matter what.

It's true JU goes through cycles. I've been here more than a year now, soon to be two (wow!) and I've seen a lot of comedies, tragedies and dramadies.


It's a given that there will be many opinions about the goings on, some will feel more strongly than others. I guess this one won't blow over too easily, however in the end, or as some like to say, at the end of the day, whatever is said or being said, be true to yourself and the person you're "fighting" for. Piling on doesn't help either, it just makes the piler look bad. (and that's not being said to any one person, it's just a general statement).


I've apologized to her, and I do so now to all of you for dropping those little turds and just basically being a bitch about the whole thing.


That's big of you Tonya dear, I was wondering about all that.
Reply #44 from JoeUser Forums Top
Reply By: foreverserenityPosted: Thursday, March 02, 2006This "persona" is drawn to you too Elie!


Ok MM steps back... looks real hard..... thinks... maybe... who knows, it happened with michele....
Reply #45 from JoeUser Forums Top
Ok MM steps back... looks real hard..... thinks... maybe... who knows, it happened with michele....


I"m honored at the thought! I believe in destiny Elie, if it's meant to be, it will and life's full of surprises!
Reply #46 from JoeUser Forums Top
If I were being picked apart on here or having any number of other personal problems a person could have, I would hope that you would be one of the people who would care enough to come to my defense or offer a helping hand or whatever the situation warranted. Not because you feel you *should* or *have to* but because you want to.


For the record, I wasn't talking about "owing" anyone in the real sense, but according to my own standard of ethics. I guess I can't explain it in a way that's comprehensible, so I'll not even try.

I think the whole thing was blown out of proportion by emotion. As I said, the main reason it made it into my article was because of real life conflicts that ARE creating problems. I could have/should have omitted the single sentence I put in there relating the RL conflicts to the Simon/Sabrina thing, but I try to put something in my articles that indicates what "inspired" that particular piece.

The thing that hurt was being accused of a lack of loyalty because of what was really a misunderstanding. I am ALWAYS loyal to my friends, it's just that sometimes conflicting loyalties in situations where I see right AND wrong on both sides of the fence make things a bit difficult.

I have stronger feelings about what happened to Sabrina than I do about what happened to Simon, frankly. Simon was warned, and sanctioned for activities on JoeUser; Sabrina was sanctioned for activities that occured elsewhere, and I DON'T agree with that. I have no problem stating THAT position pretty clearly, although I am not going to blog about it because it's time to let the issue go away (for the moment, at least).
Reply #47 from JoeUser Forums Top
#45 by foreverserenity
Tuesday, March 07, 2006


Ok MM steps back... looks real hard..... thinks... maybe... who knows, it happened with michele....


I"m honored at the thought! I believe in destiny Elie, if it's meant to be, it will and life's full of surprises!


life indeed is full of wonder and "you never know" I believe the same way if it is met to be it will happen.
Reply #48 from JoeUser Forums Top
#46 by Gideon MacLeish
Tuesday, March 07, 2006


For the record, I wasn't talking about "owing" anyone in the real sense, but according to my own standard of ethics. I guess I can't explain it in a way that's comprehensible, so I'll not even try.


bad communication abounds! I too will miss whip, and also can empathize with you gid, I can care less about simon being banned, but what brad did to whip because of what she said on another site is just plain WRONG, BAD, and childish.
Reply #49 from JoeUser Forums Top
what brad did to whip because of what she said on another site is just plain WRONG, BAD, and childish.


Bullshit MM! To hell if he wants to pay to have ungrateful jerks using his site to advertise their site where they are trashing him. You don't like that? Leave.

I am so sick to death of people stating how wrong and 'childish' my husband is. You don't know what the hell you're talking about! He is not childish! He is man enough to say 'you know what, I don't have to put up with shit from ungrateful people. I don't need anymore abuse in my life and I am not going to welcome it.'

Give me one good reaso why he should. Because you think it was wrong?
Reply #50 from JoeUser Forums Top
What did Brad do to little whip? She left on her own, slamming doors and burning bridges the whole way, even insulting the people that considered her friends that remained behind.