Those Damnable Commercials

from JoeUser Forums
I don’t know about you, but TV commercials rely so heavily on fantasy that it makes me feel like I’m a real loser because I don’t have a super Honda to magically transport me to Maine for a coffee break. Instead I’m stuck home with my soup made from leftovers. Nor do I feel like a Nascar Dad that in purchasing a new SUV I have to test drive it up Mt. Everest--and I'm just too damned old to buy a sports car and find excitement in watching the rpm glare red. I suppose, too, my age controls motivation to have a beer  just because a gansta rapper tells me to get drunk and knock up someone.

My heart goes out to a woman who is framed respectably but blasphemed by cellulite. The beauty commercials are for all us Shallow Hals who insist that every one crossing the screen is a ten — oh, and that silky brunette hair that cascades so invitingly down a curvaceous back any male would die to bury his face in it. And just think of all those stupid cell phoners who are still looking up at the clock before they dial because they never got the word that they don’t have to that anymore.


You know, I just can’t rush out of the house to the nearest McDonald’s to become an instant millionaire — I guess I’m not very entrepreneurial. Maybe it’s just me, but somehow I can’t share Gibson’s passion for the Passion. After the verdict, I couldn’t join in the compassionate stampede to K-mart to gather up Martha Stewart products. I really feel sorry for all those satellite dish owners who have to climb up on the roof every time nature has hiccups. I have profound compassion for those with cancer, and personally having lost my wife to the dreaded disease, I’m enraged that it never crossed my mind to give her Bayer that would have saved her life.


 

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4,453 views 13 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Very well said.
I like your point of view.

Ad execs need to be flogged.
And then made to live in the real world a while.
:)
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I don't think that I have ever seen an ad that prompted me to actually buy anything.  Car ads absolutely drive me nuts.  They always say stuff like "starting at $19,700" then the fine print says "model shown $29,950".  I don't buy Sprite just because the ads are so stupid.  Or, what about personal products?  Do those *ever* need to be shown?  Luckily, I don't watch much TV so I don't see too many ads.  Have you seen the billboard ads for Sechs beer?  It has one right side up bottle by an upside down bottle and it says "how you have Sechs is none of our business".  Now, try and explain that to your kid.  They have another one that says: "It's OK to have Sechs by yourself...to the best of our knowledge nobody has gone blind yet".
Ashes of the Singularity II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
OK, you are my favorite blogger, but really, I'm NOT following you. ;) You just keep writing the ones that catch my eye!
Commercials drive me crazy, starting with the volume. But I like the funny ones. They still don't make me go out and buy stuff though. I always felt rather inadequate as a mom cause I didn't buy Jiff or have the magic of Clorox. Ever notice how almost all females in the ads that are targeting women wear layered clothing? It amuses me. The ones for medicine amuse my daughter, when they start spouting the possible side effects. Those Saturday morning cartoon commercials still work with kids though. I've seen that with my nephews and nieces. "Mommy, I want that"
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Even if the ads don't make you want to buy the car,etc., they do change your perception of the world. Good observations.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dear Everybody, it's nice to know it's just not me that's bugged by the deceptions and misrepresentations.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oooooooh, no. Me too. Especially the car ads, but mostly the prescription drug ads: "Ask your doctor about this product! We're not going to tell you what it's for, unless it's erectile dysfunction, in which case we're going to talk about it way too much to make it more uncomfortable for you to watch TV with your future inlaws who still think you're both virgins!"

Wow, sorry, tangent.

I miss the British ads: they were drier and much more creative. I still don't buy products based on ads (insofar as I can manage), but I do enjoy the clever ones. And this is cheesy, but I kind of miss those old Budweiser frog commercials. Those were the ultimate in stupid, funny ads.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Enzyte commercials make me feel so inadequate.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Dang it, I just googled "enzyte" 'cause I didn't know what it was. Thanks a lot. ;-(
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oh, then I guess you didn't see those commercials. They are so inappropriate, with all their sexual innuendos and all, but that's why they're so funny, such as that one where the Enzyte guy is dressed up like Santa at some office party and all the word is spread that he takes Enzyte so the women get in line to sit on his lap.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm laughing, but I'm groaning, too. They must be on cable.

The ones I'm used to seeing are for the semi-retired crowd who watch the evening news whilst running to and from the bathroom which I surmise, based on the commercials, is due to their Depends not quite staying up; or perhaps they need to take Cialis so they can "do it" within the next 36 hours and let's hope, hope, HOPE that they can really "choose" when that moment comes and that it doesn't come to stay; or perhaps they just need to take their Lipitor, which I swear must sponsor Tom Brokaw's paycheck.
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Ask your doctor about this product! We're not going to tell you what it's for, unless it's erectile dysfunction, in which case we're going to talk about it way too much to make it more uncomfortable for you to watch TV with your future inlaws who still think you're both virgins!" Classic Angloese!
You have a great view; I think the English should overwhelm Madison Avenue and teach them how to write copy.Super, that's super!
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
I agree with all of the above, but my least favorites are for previews of shows that we don't watch for a reason, like Fear Factor, where they show on the commercial people consuming raw sheep brains or whatever, regurging it back into a glass, and then re-consuming it...all right after we've eaten dinner and are sitiing down to relax for the evening....AAAARRRGGGGHH , where is that #$%*&$ remote!!!!
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
i posted a little article called "male enhancement" and wrote about that particular brand of commercial... yours got a lot more traffic than mine...

i guess that's why you get paid the big bucks~

blog on dude