The Christmas Spirit
It's very much alive and well.
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My wife may kill me for this. She's not wild about 'personal' info being shared over the internet. Tough.
The past year has been very difficult for us. It started with a visit to the doctor in February. This little visit led to numerous tests. From xrays, and CT scans of my brain, to MRI's and Nuclear Stress tests...and everything in between. By May I had had a heart cath (only 30% blockage) and a Spinal fusion in my neck (2 discs removed and replaced with a plate and screws and donor bone). In June, while still recovering and out of work, I tore a disc in my lower back. Lots'O Pain. Not being severe enough for surgery I went for epideral shots into my spine. No help. Still unable to work I began to have other things and pains pop-up. Jumping up to this month and 'more' MRI's and CT scans...I learn I am just falling apart. A spot has been found in my right lung...I endured my first colonoscopy yesterday (waiting for 4 biopsies) and still have found no relief from the pain.
During all of this there has been my wife of only 2 1/2 years. She works full time. To keep us afloat and pick up MY slack she has also worked as a cashier at a local restaraunt, parked cars for the USC ganes, sold Avon, and most recently has either helped or filled in for me at the very part-time physically limited work I am permitted to do with an employer who has stood by me. We have stressed, fought, cried, and been just plain depressed through all of it. My wife verbalizes what I always wonder. "When do we get a break? How will we get through this? When can life get back to normal?" and all the other things you can imagine we think and feel. She thinks she has been weak through all of this. She feels that she should be able to make everything better for me and us. My wife has been a rock. She has been there for me and even at our worst, never has she wavered in her determination to see us through. Though she would be blameless if she through her hands up and said enough, she hasn't and won't. And this is where I get all of my strength.
When Christams began to rear it's head, the stress just intensified. Our faith has been a help, but so often we are overwhelmed and we forget. My only concern has been that we would be able to make Christmas as wonderful as possible for my step-son. I have always felt it's so much about the kids when it comes to the presents and lights and all the other goodies. My wife feels the same. The only other thing I wanted more than anything, was to be able to also buy her a laptop. She doesn't ask for much. I know she wants one. She deserves so much more.
With all of this and thousands of dollars in doctor bills coming in, we have been very lucky to accomplish what little we have so far for the Holidays and for my step-son. And we'll keep going probably til the last minute to be sure his Christmas is as special as possible.
But we have been going blindly ans without much cheer, happiness, or Christmas Spirit. That is, until last night.
I enetred the Skinning Contest for 2 reasons. 1.We needed the money. 2.I didn't think I would win and had already settled on possibly getting an extension on my Wincustomize subscrition if I took 3rd in anything. I don't have words for all the gerat comments left on the entries. And as far as winning, I am honored, humbled, and amazed and elated all at the same time. My wife was happier than I was...and to hear her say she is 'proud' of me considering I have been unable to contribute much around here for the past 7 months felt damn good. I'll take what I can get from the most amazing woman I have ever known.
So, we felt, finally, we got a break.
Then something else happened. Someone who is practically a stranger to me did something quite extrodinary. Though they may think of it as nothing much and play it down, they would be wrong. Because they have helped to renew mine and my wifes faith in the season and in life in general. I have no words to express my gratitiude. None. Even after sleeping on it, I am still in awe. I won't embaress them by mentioning any names. Let me just say this. To anyone and everyone...there really is a community here. And in it are some truly amazing and inspiring people. Never doubt this. Whatever your belief, faith, or philosophy...there is something wonderful, alive, living, and thriving here. For me and my family, it is the Christams Spirit and it found us just in time.
The past year has been very difficult for us. It started with a visit to the doctor in February. This little visit led to numerous tests. From xrays, and CT scans of my brain, to MRI's and Nuclear Stress tests...and everything in between. By May I had had a heart cath (only 30% blockage) and a Spinal fusion in my neck (2 discs removed and replaced with a plate and screws and donor bone). In June, while still recovering and out of work, I tore a disc in my lower back. Lots'O Pain. Not being severe enough for surgery I went for epideral shots into my spine. No help. Still unable to work I began to have other things and pains pop-up. Jumping up to this month and 'more' MRI's and CT scans...I learn I am just falling apart. A spot has been found in my right lung...I endured my first colonoscopy yesterday (waiting for 4 biopsies) and still have found no relief from the pain.
During all of this there has been my wife of only 2 1/2 years. She works full time. To keep us afloat and pick up MY slack she has also worked as a cashier at a local restaraunt, parked cars for the USC ganes, sold Avon, and most recently has either helped or filled in for me at the very part-time physically limited work I am permitted to do with an employer who has stood by me. We have stressed, fought, cried, and been just plain depressed through all of it. My wife verbalizes what I always wonder. "When do we get a break? How will we get through this? When can life get back to normal?" and all the other things you can imagine we think and feel. She thinks she has been weak through all of this. She feels that she should be able to make everything better for me and us. My wife has been a rock. She has been there for me and even at our worst, never has she wavered in her determination to see us through. Though she would be blameless if she through her hands up and said enough, she hasn't and won't. And this is where I get all of my strength.
When Christams began to rear it's head, the stress just intensified. Our faith has been a help, but so often we are overwhelmed and we forget. My only concern has been that we would be able to make Christmas as wonderful as possible for my step-son. I have always felt it's so much about the kids when it comes to the presents and lights and all the other goodies. My wife feels the same. The only other thing I wanted more than anything, was to be able to also buy her a laptop. She doesn't ask for much. I know she wants one. She deserves so much more.
With all of this and thousands of dollars in doctor bills coming in, we have been very lucky to accomplish what little we have so far for the Holidays and for my step-son. And we'll keep going probably til the last minute to be sure his Christmas is as special as possible.
But we have been going blindly ans without much cheer, happiness, or Christmas Spirit. That is, until last night.
I enetred the Skinning Contest for 2 reasons. 1.We needed the money. 2.I didn't think I would win and had already settled on possibly getting an extension on my Wincustomize subscrition if I took 3rd in anything. I don't have words for all the gerat comments left on the entries. And as far as winning, I am honored, humbled, and amazed and elated all at the same time. My wife was happier than I was...and to hear her say she is 'proud' of me considering I have been unable to contribute much around here for the past 7 months felt damn good. I'll take what I can get from the most amazing woman I have ever known.
So, we felt, finally, we got a break.
Then something else happened. Someone who is practically a stranger to me did something quite extrodinary. Though they may think of it as nothing much and play it down, they would be wrong. Because they have helped to renew mine and my wifes faith in the season and in life in general. I have no words to express my gratitiude. None. Even after sleeping on it, I am still in awe. I won't embaress them by mentioning any names. Let me just say this. To anyone and everyone...there really is a community here. And in it are some truly amazing and inspiring people. Never doubt this. Whatever your belief, faith, or philosophy...there is something wonderful, alive, living, and thriving here. For me and my family, it is the Christams Spirit and it found us just in time.
