Life F-ing Sucks!!!!!!!

Uh...you might think about changing your title and marking this as adult. But other than that, yeah life does suck at times....

Umm, what's the point of marking it adult if it says "fucking" in the title?  and, uh, what kid is going to stop reading something because it says "adult"?

Trinitie

I dont know Shovelheat told me to so I did. so get over it.
Aloha

I know, I was replying to shovel, not you, dork.

Trinitie

You are such a bitch! !
Aloha

It sucks that you can not speak with your father. Was it proven that he sexually abused your sister and your friend? Even so, that isn't right. He IS your father. You should at least be able to write to him and he should have the chance to explain himself. That does fucking suck, but I'm certain God does not have a vendeta against you. Consider how lucky you have been to not be abused!!! and also to have something done about it if your father in fact did do something wrong.

Anyway, good luck with getting the money together for Prom. I remember having to save up money for prom also and it sucked that it was so expensive. I mean, if you get a date- you should only have to pay for half of it, right? and maybe you can date some rich guy and his parents can pay for it, just joking.

My father really did do that to my sister and best friend. I saw it happen to my sister, and I know that my best friend would not lie about something like that. I agree I should be able to talk to my father. I know that God does not have a vendeta against me, but it is just really frustrating. I agree I am lucky to have not been abused, and that I thank God for, but I wish it would have been me instead of my Best Friend because now she does not talk to me.
The Prom thing, I just think that I should not go. Me get a date THATS funnY!
ALoha

GIRL----YOU CAN GET A DATE!!!

Trinitie

My ass! If I could get a date then how come I am still sitting at home on friday and saturday nights, and every other day of the week?
Aloha

Ummm, you're ass is pretty nice.  I have picture of it hanging on my wall.

Trinitie

p.s.  You think I'm lying?

You are a creep!
Aloha

As hard as it is to understand, your dad is a sexual predator. Statistically, there's very little chance of him ever being "cured" of that behaviour. Admitting what he has done is only the first step.

While he didn't touch you, the concern that the court has (and WILL have, quite naturally) is that your father is at an especially high risk to reoffend at this point. So he really SHOULD be kept away from any potential victims.

I don't know why you accuse God of having a vendetta against your family. Your father's actions were his and his alone; God didn't "make him do it" (nor, for that matter, did the devil). Life may look bad for you at this point, but it is because of the actions of certain individuals, not of God. I really hope things work out for the best for your family, and your anger is understandable, but placing blame doesn't fix things.

Dittos on just about everything Gideon has said above.

Though it may not seem fair to be cut off from your father, it's being done for your protection.

While you still need parental figures in your life, abusive ones are not the answer, even if they hadn't yet turned their abuse on you.

Perhaps if you had been a victim in that way it would be easier to understand, but then you'd have a host of other issues to question yourself and life on. For now put your thoughts into a diary or something similar and perhaps after you've passed that 18th birthday you can provide the materials to your father to help him follow the events that took place in your life.

The only issue with this is the fact that my older sister and "best friend" had forgiven him. So why if they trusted to be around him then why did the state feel necessary to step in? I dont care any more I am just leaving because I am tired of my family leaving me out of everything.
Aloha

One of my biggest issues is that he chose to touch my sister and my "best friend", which only proves all along that he likes them or loves them or what ever more than he did me. Dont get me wrong, I am glad that he did not touch me. That is what hurts me the most, because it breaks my heart to the extent that I dont feel loved. I feel that no one loves me, and I have tried to find solace in everything (including God) except for drugs. It really breaks my heart. I don't know what to do or what to think. I just want someone to love me. That is all I have ever wanted, and now I know that my father has just been laying around doing nothing, and he doesnt even have a will to live anymore. That breaks my heart more than anything because he was the closest thing to a parent that I ever had, and now he lays around like an old man with Alzheimers. I just wish that I could tell him that him laying around like that breaks my heart more than him doing someting. I just dont know, sometimes I just want to throw my self out of a window, sometimes I just feel like I am standing in the middle of a crowded room screaming at the top of my lung and no one hears me. I just don't know what to do.
Aloha

No, God has no vendetta against you. You're special in His eyes and you need to depend more on Him and less on those who let you down. Believe me when I say that if you do two things you'll feel a lot better. First you must attach yourself to only one thought: No matter what:I'm in God's hands. Second, you must start to believe in yourself :Say: I am a person, darn special and too special to get down because I have a friend. Pray to your friend and say thanks for your life. Hold onto that . I suffered depression for years and my "friend" pulled me through. That friend is Jesus.

One of my biggest issues is that he chose to touch my sister and my "best friend", which only proves all along that he likes them or loves them or what ever more than he did me.

Actually, his behaviour in that area has nothing to do with love. It has to do with a true sickness, a perversion.

It's good that he owned up to his actions and spared your sister and best friend the agony of a trial; it's good that he is seeking treatment, but the simple fact is, the vast majority of individuals who did what he did would be sitting in prison for lengthy sentences, as, frankly, they should. He is your dad, and you SHOULD love him as such, but not to the point of rationalizing what he did.

Back to the topic of your article, however, God didn't do this. The choices your dad and others made were theirs to make, and they made them. Unfortunately, in your case, you're surrounded with people who made the wrong ones.

I hope and pray that you find healing here and find happiness. You deserve it. But I assure you that you WON'T find happiness if you blame others for your actions or the actions of those around you.

Well I thank all of you for the comments that you left. Many of them were moving and affected me in a positive way. So for now I am going to go and think about everything that you guys have said. I just wish that I had friends that I could lean on right now, but they all left me when my best friend quite talking to me. Which obviously they were not really my friends to begin with, but it is just hard to deal with. So now I am going to move and start a new life, and mabye that will help me get over all of this.

I want to let you know something. Everyone on here has made a lot of sense that I think you should listen to, yet you are not. You say you want to tell your father how your heart is breaking.. well do it! Life is not always right or wrong, sometimes it just is. As for your fight with the whole "no one loves you" issue, that is totally bogus. You know that as well as many of the others on this blog do. Your sister, your favorite sister, loves you very much and is trying her darnedest to help you by being there for you. She lets you yell and scream and be upset. Something not a lot of people will allow. And you have another sister who you will not allow to be part of your life, which is entirely wrong. And you have a brother who admittedly doesn't care for your behavior right now, but he still loves you. These are a few of the people in your life who love you and are there for you. You just have to talk to them. And I know Trinitie loves you too. (In her own weird special way) God is there for you but I don't think you really know who he is. If you want to know him and understand why things happen, then you need to go to him. Worship him and Worship with him. Live with him in your heart. I know you think your life sucks, but you also know there are people out there who are a lot worse off. One thing I can tell you I am sick and tired of hearing is the fact that you say you want to kill yourself. That is no way out of lifes problems. That is a selfish comment. It is only one more way for you to try to draw attention to yourself. (And yes right now I am the one who is guilty of giving you attention but I have been watching your blog for weeks now and it always the same) Saying you are going to kill yourself is the most hateful thing you can say. It only hurts the one who do love you. The ones you say don't love you. And it is not what God teaches you either. Get over your "poor me" attitude, get on with life. Maybe if you would be less of a witch, you would not drive your friends and family away. And you are part of the reason your best friend will not talk to you anymore for the fact of all the hateful messages you sent her and all the hateful letters you wrote her and all the hateful words you have said to her. Well this has gotten long and I know I have a million more things to say to you that you do not want to hear, just like everything else on here. And I expect you to get angry and I expect you to get over it. So MOVE ON! Love what you have been given.
Sincerely,
Anonymous

Did you pass your test?

What are you taking about bigrickstallion? What test?

I believe bigrickstallion was referring to this part of your original post back on November 30:

...I have an econ test tomorrow that decides wether or not I pass the class. So here I am writing a blog and stressing out, not only over my current home situation, but over the fact that if I do not pass this test I do not pass the class. If I do not pass the class then I do not get to graduate in December...

(bolded words done by me.)

Atually, no I did not pass the test. But I talked to the teacher and told her what was going on at home, and she gave me a ton of extra credit. She also said that if that did not help she would not allow me to fail the class based on the circumstances at home. But thank you for your concern. I did get to graduate in December, and now I am trying to find a full time job to save up for college.
Aloha

Life is exactly what you make of it. No one, not even the great moderateman can change the past, put this behind you and stop letting it have power over you, TODAY!

Moderateman,
you are very funny! I have done my best to put it behind me! It no longer has power over me I promise!
Aloha