Finally mensa shows some smarts.

very cute stuff here. enjoy.

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.


Maybe you guys can come up with a few new ones too. love, MM

Here are this year's 2005 winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.


7,169 views 34 replies
Reply #1 Top
THAT was a good laugh! Thanks!
Reply #2 Top
Reply By: ArquonzoPosted: Friday, November 04, 2005THAT was a good laugh! Thanks!


glad i could provide laughs.


MM
Reply #3 Top
. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.


That is my favorite. Thanks MM!
Reply #4 Top
Nice! I used to be in Mensa before i got too poor to renew my membership... lol

Dan
Reply #5 Top
#3 by shadesofgrey
Friday, November 04, 2005


Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.


That is my favorite. Thanks MM!


very cool to see you shades and I personally am going to try and confuse my friends by working some of these into a conversation, then "swear" they are real words. eh eh eh
Reply #6 Top
4 by Dan Kaschel
Friday, November 04, 2005


Nice! I used to be in Mensa before i got too poor to renew my membership... lol

Dan


I have found a good part of huge IQ's are real stupid dan, you are not one of them..

MM of the 149 IQ saYS SO!!
Reply #7 Top
Reply #8 Top

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Best one by far!  Grrrrrrrrrr

Reply #9 Top
Nice! I used to be in Mensa before i got too poor to renew my membership... lol

Reminds me of a sign I used to hang in my office years ago (my boss didn't like it too much):
"If I'm so smart, why ain't I rich?"
Reply #10 Top
Reply By: Dr. GuyPosted: Friday, November 04, 200517. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets intoyour bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.Best one by far! Grrrrrrrrrr


I liked alla these doc, that's why I posted em.
Reply #11 Top
Reply By: ChakgogkaPosted: Friday, November 04, 2005Nice! I used to be in Mensa before i got too poor to renew my membership... lolReminds me of a sign I used to hang in my office years ago (my boss didn't like it too much):"If I'm so smart, why ain't I rich?"


exactly, I have met lots of "smart people" {including me btw} that totally fracked up their lives.
Reply #12 Top
rentertainment: when all you can afford is a blockbuster night.

...well, it's not mensa level, but I tried.
Reply #13 Top
#12 by InBloom
Friday, November 04, 2005


rentertainment: when all you can afford is a blockbuster night.

...well, it's not mensa level, but I tried.


better than plain ol smart, this came from "lovely" and that is much better that mensa smart.

so says MM
Reply #15 Top
I loved #2...

This was a good laugh.
Reply #16 Top
These are certainly funny, but many are far from original. I remember reading 5, 13 and 15 - 18 word for word on a single email that was circulating at my workplace some 4 or 5 years ago. From the way you word the post, MM, it appears that readers were required to develop their own new words, not swipe pre-existing examples off the ether. I hope that they credited their sources. Otherwise, it would surely not reflect well on MENSA to be passively supporting plagiarism.

P.S. Anybody else notice that some of the 'winners' - specifically 13, 16 and 18 - are surely invalid, in that they involve subtracting / adding / changing more than one letter, and thus fail even to fit the brief? I'm surprised at MENSA for allowing them to remain in the competition, let alone making them winners.
Reply #17 Top
Reply By: ShovelheatPosted: Friday, November 04, 2005Dil-D'OH! when you do something stupid and screw yourself...


good one joe, DOH!
Reply #18 Top
eply By: KellyW.Posted: Friday, November 04, 2005I loved #2...This was a good laugh.


as always when I post this kind of stuff, I am going for the laugh.
Reply #19 Top
Reply By: Furry CanaryPosted: Saturday, November 05, 2005These are certainly funny, but many are far from original. I remember reading 5, 13 and 15 - 18 word for word on a single email that was circulating at my workplace some 4 or 5 years ago. From the way you word the post, MM, it appears that readers were required to develop their own new words, not swipe pre-existing examples off the ether. I hope that they credited their sources. Otherwise, it would surely not reflect well on MENSA to be passively supporting plagiarism.P.S. Anybody else notice that some of the 'winners' - specifically 13, 16 and 18 - are surely invalid, in that they involve subtracting / adding / changing more than one letter, and thus fail even to fit the brief? I'm surprised at MENSA for allowing them to remain in the competition, let alone making them winners.


I did not notice oh great furry one, due to I have always thought mensa is like a freak show. Big IQ"S do not make a smart person.
Reply #20 Top
'I did not notice oh great furry one, due to I have always thought mensa is like a freak show. Big IQ"S do not make a smart person.'
I agree entirely. They always struck me as an organisation of mutual back-slappers - telling each other how clever they are and bathing in the glory of their own kudos, but not employing their supposed cleverness for any remotely useful purpose.
Reply #21 Top
I agree entirely. They always struck me as an organisation of mutual back-slappers - telling each other how clever they are and bathing in the glory of their own kudos, but not employing their supposed cleverness for any remotely useful purpose.


So when do we give the secret handshake?
Reply #22 Top
20 by Furry Canary
Saturday, November 05, 2005


agree entirely
Oh my God , surely this is one of the seven signs of the apocalypse, me and you agreeing.
Reply #23 Top
21 by Dr. Guy
Saturday, November 05, 2005


So when do we give the secret handshake?


shhhh it's for conservative men only doc.
Reply #24 Top
'Oh my God , surely this is one of the seven signs of the apocalypse, me and you agreeing.'
Don't tell Marvin Cooley!
Reply #25 Top
'Oh my God , surely this is one of the seven signs of the apocalypse, me and you agreeing.'
Don't tell Marvin Cooley!


He does not know the handshake!