I Don't Hate You

I Don't Know You

I have been recently made aware that you have discovered my blog here at Joeuser. I'm surprised. Not so much at your reaction, but at the fact that I am one of the few Canadian writers here, that I know of. My sister gave me a convoluted story, but I'm still a little unclear how you found me. But, of course, this is the World Wide Web, and after previously writing about google searches, and user names, I know that it is not highly impossible. But I know you had some digging to do.

I want to tell you that I don't hate you, and I'd like to offer my apologies if you were hurt by my words. I'm not, though. I'm not sorry that you found this, that is. I've struggled for a long time about our relationship, and continue to do so. This method of writing, helps some. I've got some friends here who offer encouragement as I try to make sense of my life, and while you are a part of it, you are, by no means, the all of it. I am not going to remove articles, or attempt to edit my writing style because you've 'accidentally' come across this. Because, even if what you say is true, that you entered a word into a simple search engine and happened to find my blog among hundreds, you willingly and knowingly opened it up, to find out some of my deepest feelings, and emotional outpourings.

Now, I see no responses, especially on the article mentioned, but I hear that you've read quite a bit. You've read enough to confront not me, but my sister about this, and what I'm sorry for is not having the opportunity to discuss it with you. But obviously, this is your choice, so I'll respond in the same way you found it.

We don't talk, at least, not that often, and when we do you tell endless stories of perfect strangers. Your past is what led you here, and if you're bothered by my feelings about it now, you're still focusing on the wrong person. How you've been living your life in the past decade, is mostly what has kept us apart. I love you, but its hard to do. I've tried very much to get to know you better but there is so much more to overcome. We know the situation that brought us together and kept us apart. It is not an easy relationship for me, and if you think that I don't care, well, you couldn't be more wrong.

I would propose that after reading this article, that you refrain from continuing to read any more of my blog, if you're going to be upset with what you might find. If you want to try to cause conflict between me and my sister by telling her all the stuff I've written about her as well, don't bother, she knows. And she understands.

This method of writing is by no means private, and yes, absolutely anyone can read these words. I feel that the majority of readers respect the intent behind writing in a blog community, that it is to share, to learn, to understand and to discuss. When I write articles and post them, I am willingly allowing people to share my thoughts and to comment as well. If my view of truth hurts you, then you shouldn't read any more, or at least take it as a personal affront. The truth hurts me, too.

I'm not going to prevent it but if you feel you need to respond to this, you know a better way to reach me.
1,630 views 7 replies
Reply #1 Top

I feel for you, sistah.  My MIL came across my blog...how, I do not know....and was all pissed off about something I had said about them not coming to visit us, even going so far as to email my husband in the middle east to complain about it.  She forgot to mention that I had said she was like a friend to me, mainly because it didn't fit in with her demonization of me.....but boy, she sure had a hissy fit over  my saying that we were hurt that they hadn't come to see us since we moved here.

I said much the same thing to her as you're saying to your kin.  These are your feelings and thoughts, and you are simply expressing them here.  If people don't like them, they they should move along onto a blog that they find more pleasing.

I owe you some thanks for your caveat regarding my birth mother, btw.....

Reply #2 Top
A woman's blog is her castle. Nobody should ever have to change their blog based on their audience.

I'm with you on this one, Nicky.

Dan
Reply #3 Top
I owe you some thanks for your caveat regarding my birth mother, btw.....


Not at all, not at all, my friend.


A woman's blog is her castle.


Nice, I like that.

Thanks.
Reply #4 Top
A woman's blog is her castle. Nobody should ever have to change their blog based on their audience.


Awesome words. I'm glad you are not going to sensor yourself. Then what is the point of a blog if not to help work out things in your head.

((((((NIcky))))))

Reply #5 Top
Then what is the point of a blog if not to help work out things in your head.


To subvert all humanity to your cruel reign of terror? But maybe that's just me...

Dan
Reply #6 Top
Nicky:

I'm late to the game, as always. I can not imagine that this was an easy blog for you to write, but as always, it's got style and class. Best of luck working through this situation.

Reply #7 Top
Dan, you tupit.

Trinitie