I can read too, can I have a job with SBC Tech support?!

from JoeUser Forums

The following is an excerpt from a conversation I had with SBC tech support earlier this evening:

Me: I'm having a problem connecting to the internet and i wanted to see if you had had any reports of issues in my area.

SBC: yes sir, let me check that for you.

Me: It's ma'am.

SBC:  Alright sir, I'm sorry about that.

Me: it's ma'm.

SBC: yes, yes, I meant ma'am.  Well, I'm not seeing any problems as reported in your area, can you tell me what your modem looks like?  Are all the lights on?

Me: No, the 'internet' light isn't on.  It hasn't been on for the past half an hour, that's why I'm calling you.

SBC:  Ah, the internet light isn't on.  Well, that means that you're not getting any internet.  When the internet light is off, you won't get internet.

Me:  *temporarily silenced by the stupidity of the tech support chick*  Umm......

SBC: In order for the internet to get to your computer, the internet light on your modem must be on.

Me:  Hello?  Is this tech support?  I think I might have been diverted to the wrong department.

SBC:  Yes, this is tech support.

Me:  No offense, but I called you, you tech support people, because I had tried everything I knew to do at home to fix this problem.  I called you because you're supposed to be more knowledgeable than I.  So far, you're not telling me anything I didn't already know.  In fact, I'd have got more help from my child.  Are you reading from the manual?

SBC:  No, I'm not reading from the manual. 

Me: You're reading from something.  A cheat sheet, a list, something.  You're not giving me any technical support, that's for sure.  Are you guys hiring?  Can I get a job there?  Because I, apparently, know more about this than you.

SBC: We're getting to the issue, the issue is that your internet light isn't on, therefore you will not get nternet to your computer.

Me:  *temporarily stunned, again*  Ahh.....yes, I know that.  I told YOU that.  I'm aware of WHAT the problem is, but what I don't know is how to fix it.  That's why I called you.  You are supposed to know how to help me fix this problem. 

SBC:  Well, the problem is the internet light on...

Me: *interrupting her* You know what, I'm just going to fix this myself.  You've been no help at all.  You have yourself a wonderful eveing....or day, or whatever time it is in India.

SBC: Well, I can help you sort out your problem if we can just get that internet light back on on your modem.....

Me: Good bye!  *and I hang up*.

I think that if my life ever comes apart at the seams, if I ever find myself in dire need of a job.....that I will either give myself a stage name of Busty Rhymes and go make money taking my clothes off for strangers, or I will move to India and get a job with SBC technical support.  I'm qualified to do either...I've got a set of DD's and I know what each of the little lights on the front of my DSL modem means. 

'Technical Support' used to mean something.  Apparently one needs neither technical knowledge OR customer support skills to work for SBC.

 

internet
68,336 views 58 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
LOL... I was going to say, "At least you could understand her english," and then I read about tech support being in India. They must not be paying them much... they truly are ignorant sometimes.

Glad to see you got it up and running again.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

Glad to see you got it up and running again.

Yeah, I figured out what the issue was.  It's the modem.  The crappy modem that SBC sold us last year that isn't really compatible with ANYHTHING available on the free market, just with other SBC crappy products.  I doesn't like the wireless router.  So, looks like we're going to make do for now, but we're definitely getting a new modem.

SBC suck.  That's all there is to it.  They just suck.

Ashes of the Singularity II
Reply #3 from WinCustomize Forums Top
It was the same at Earthlink. Try getting your bill with them switched to automatic payment. After 2 months on the phone with them and nasty letters from them telling me my bill was late, I told them to take their service and shove it. That was after a long string of problems with their so called tech support. Seems nowadays any one can get a job in tech support. Half of them don't even know what town they're in let alone who they work for. I guess it's all in the name of saving a buck in the minds of the idiots who will lose even more when their customers leave because of no tech support. I think greed has taken over the minds of the managers and owners of these companies, and common sense has flown out the window. Sorry you had that trouble. Looks like a long lasting trend we're in though.
Reply #4 from WinCustomize Forums Top
a set of DD's and I know what each of the little lights on the front of my DSL modem means.



Wow! Brains and...er, um, other "assets"

You're hired!
Reply #5 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I got to 'got a set of DD's' and my mind just wandered.......what was your question again, Sir?.....
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Seems nowadays any one can get a job in tech support. Half of them don't even know what town they're in let alone who they work for. I guess it's all in the name of saving a buck in the minds of the idiots who will lose even more when their customers leave because of no tech support.


I'm seriously thinking of applying for a SBC tech support job.

This outsourcing crap wouldn't be so bad if 1) Icould understand what they're saying 2) they have an idea of how American businesses operate, and 3) they had some knowledge that, I the customer, do not have. If they can help me, in other words.

I've run into outsourced technical or customer support issues 4 times in the past year, and every time I've come away from the experience unsatisfied and aggrivated. I said that I wouldn't deal with Circuit City again - and I haven't. I said that Compaq wouldn't be getting any more of my business - and they hsven't. but SBC...well, there are very few choices for home telephone and internet service providers where I live at, so SBC have my business by default. They're treated us VERY badly in the past year. They've messed up our contracts, over charged us - this month, they overcharged us by $50. They know it, but we have to still pay it. The bill has closed, you see. They can't go back and alter it. So, we have to pay the $50 so's they can credit it back to us next month. If we don't pay it, they'll see it as 'past due' and send it to their collections department and might even threaten to disconenct our service.
I was disillusioned BEFORE I spoke to dumb girl this evening. Now....and now that I know about their crappy modem....now I'm REALLY disillusioned, perhaps even disgruntled.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Wow! Brains and...er, um, other "assets"

You're hired!

Cool! When do I start?! lol


got to 'got a set of DD's' and my mind just wandered.......


Yeah, I get that a lot.
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm qualified to do either


Why not do both? I think that stripper web support could be very popular. It would certainly be different and make money..........
Reply #9 from WinCustomize Forums Top
dharmagrl...I've frequently struck totally inept tech support people who know less than I, and it's surely annoying to waste your time and money, just to discover that, but isn't stripping for strangers is a bit drastic. The problem is obviously the 'lights' on your modem......perhaps another, more competent ISP would 'ENLIGHTEN' you.
Reply #10 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Reply #11 from WinCustomize Forums Top
SBC suck. That's all there is to it. They just suck


Definitely. I spent about three hours on the phone with them telling them they ran the phone line to the wrong apartment number. Their repairman was here and verified it. I'm still fighting collection agencies over the bill of a connection that was never received. I don't have DD's. I have a single P. I'm glad it's not a sexist thing.
Reply #12 from WinCustomize Forums Top
I don't have DD's. I have a single P.
Reply #13 from WinCustomize Forums Top
OMG!!!!!!
Reply #14 from WinCustomize Forums Top

I'm seriously thinking of applying for a SBC tech support job. 

You can, however, there are a few qualifications you will need: You need to be Indian, you must have a degree and you must be willing to work for 10 rupees an hour (comes to about $2.50 per week). If you meet those requirements you can start Monday  
 

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

I think that stripper web support could be very popular

Kind of like strip opker?  every timw you come up with a problem, I take off an article of clothing?  Hmm...that has possibilities.

and it's surely annoying to waste your time and money, just to discover that, but isn't stripping for strangers is a bit drastic

So's moving to India.

 

Jafo

Thing is, I'm not stupid.  I have DD's AND a brain.  I'm by no means the smartest chick ever, but I'm no dummy either. 

Besides, my favorite T-shirt slogan has 'who needs big boobs' on the front, and 'when you have an ass like this' on the back.  (yeah, I have both).

 

Definitely

I'm sorry that you had problems, but I'm glad I'm not alone.

I don't have DD's. I have a single P

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!

OMG!!!!!!

Was that at the breathtakingly inept tech support girl, or at my DD's?

 

You need to be Indian,

Darn.  Well, there goes my chance.

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
I've encountered moron tech support people so many times when it comes to my cable internet service over the years that I just steamroll the first person that answers the phone. The first sentence out of my mouth usually sounds like this:

"My internet connection is down. I've restarted the modem, restarted my PC. I've unplugged the modem and done a full reset. I've checked all cables and wires to make sure they're tight. The service has been down for X amount of time. My neighbors are having the same problem so it's not my PC or my individual modem"

This usually results in the first tier person stuttering a bit and then bouncing me on to tier 2 straight away, where I usually get some actual help.

It's also fun throwing technical terms at them. I love running a continuous ping and telling them what the lag is, how much packet loss I'm seeing etc... It really freaks them out when you run a trace route and can tell them the names of routing boxes in their network, I had one accuse me of hacking their system once
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top

I just steamroll the first person that answers the phone. The first sentence out of my mouth usually sounds like this:

"My internet connection is down. I've restarted the modem, restarted my PC. I've unplugged the modem and done a full reset. I've checked all cables and wires to make sure they're tight. The service has been down for X amount of time. My neighbors are having the same problem so it's not my PC or my individual modem"

This usually results in the first tier person stuttering a bit and then bouncing me on to tier 2 straight away, where I usually get some actual help.

That's what I'm going to have to start doing.  I did all of the above before I called tech support...not that it did me any good.

Reply #18 from WinCustomize Forums Top
It really freaks them out when you run a trace route and can tell them the names of routing boxes in their network


Hahahaha, you took a page right out of my book, or maybe I took the page from your book who knows but I've done the same thing. Ironically enough I did it when I had DSL through SBC. I've since dropped them but my service had gone down one evening and I was getting quite ticked, I had left a ping running for 30 or 45 minutes and you could see DNS go up and down and up and down. I thought I would be a good customer and call to inform them of their problem and at the same time try to get them to boot their messed up DNS server. Long story short, after hanging up on one completely useless and rude tech I got a very enlightened tech who not only knew what a DNS server was, he also knew who to ask to get it rebooted. He was away from the phone for about 5 minutes came back said it would take about 10 minutes to get it rebooted and I hung up. Sure enough about 10 minutes later I was back in business. I guess it just goes to show, if you aren't getting anywhere with the current tech just hang up and try again. Of course you're always better off if you never need their help, but in some cases there's nothing else you can do..

So -- if you have the opportunity to do so, make sure you tell as many people at SBC as you can why you are dropping their worthless service when you get the chance!!
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top

Sorry about your problems.  Bu tthis reminds me of how we have taken a concept - a modem (modulator demodulator) and assigned it to all kinds of things that are not really modems.  IN essence, Cable 'modems' and DSL 'modems' are really just media/protocol converters.

Zoomba is right tho.  You need to bypass the first level techs as soon as possible.

Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top

Zoomba is right tho. You need to bypass the first level techs as soon as possible.

Yeah, I think that if there's a next time I'm just going to go in with guns blazing, telling them what I've done upfront.  It'll save everyone concrened a lot of time.

So -- if you have the opportunity to do so, make sure you tell as many people at SBC as you can why you are dropping their worthless service when you get the chance!!

I am.....I'm good at complaining, so I'm going to complain as loud as I can for as long as I can until someone listens. 

SBC aren't going to like me by the end of the day.... 

Reply #21 from WinCustomize Forums Top
This must be just one of those hilarious stories...the kind that you keep to tell to grandchildren to laugh...oh it's a good one...

PS: Glad to see that you resolved the problem by yourself. I've ordered DSL and been waiting for almost four weeks and still nothing...i don't think i'll be calling Help or Support with stories like that though...
Reply #22 from WinCustomize Forums Top
my favorite T-shirt slogan has 'who needs big boobs' on the front, and 'when you have an ass like this' on the back. (yeah, I have both).


any chance of getting this modeled?
Reply #23 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Damn you, male hormones!

Anyways, very interesting. A lot of tech support these days can be somewhat dumb, but i've never had an encounter like that. Then again, a lot of computer users are dumb, too, so it kinda balances out.
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top

A lot of tech support these days can be somewhat dumb, but i've never had an encounter like that. Then again, a lot of computer users are dumb, too, so it kinda balances out

Yeah....like the people who call tech support to ask how much a stamp for email costs.  Don't laugh, I know a guy who worked tech support for a while and he actually had someone call to ask that very question.

any chance of getting this modeled?

hehe...my husband put the kibosh on my owning such a T-shirt, let alone modelling it.  You can see it over at T-shirt hell, though....and perhaps one day I'll get to own it!

Glad to see that you resolved the problem by yourself

Yeah, no thanks to tech support, huh?!

Reply #25 from WinCustomize Forums Top
After explaining that I was having problems with my DSL speeds to my ISP's tech support, having previously gone through the rigmaroll of the regular checks and refreshes, I was promptly told there was nothing he could do and that I should get my telephone company to do a line check....at my own expense. Naturally, I was #@$#%*! furious and hung up in his ear....I don't pay them to do the checks and balances myself. I eventually got through to someone on the same continent who actually helped and resolved the issue, but it is far too commonplace with my ISP's tech support (other service industries) to be greeted with a broad foreign accent which is difficult to understand.