Things I know a lot about*

*inspired by a pitcher of Malibu pina coladas with an excellent ratio of rum to ice

from JoeUser Forums
So the world as we know it ends and I'm left to share the wealth of knowledge with the hordes. Oh what a sad day, &c., yes it's true. But anyway, there are a few useful things I could share:

1. How to make a perfect pina colada with just the right amount of rum. Mmm. Rum.
2. How to properly distinguish misplaced modifiers—and where you can stick them.
3. Speaking of grammar, proper punctuation marks go outside quotation marks. ("Well that's silly", you say.)
4. The implications for mankind brought about by Newton's laws of thermodynamics.
5. Why the sun disappears in a lunar eclipse.
6. Why the Machiavellian point of view about a Utopian society is a lofty and noble philosophy to aspire to.
7. And while we're on philosophy and literary criticism, why Jean-Jacques Rousseau did the world a great service when he published the theory of deconstructionism.
8. Why Adventists and Catholics need to show a little less brotherly love—that relationship is disgustingly sweet. C'mon guys, get a room or something.
9. That evolutionists, creationists, lefties, righties, and commies are all wrong.
10. How to bake anything without burning it. We'll start with pizza.
11. That America became a better place when we decided we wanted Texas to be a part of it.
12. Morning people should be given medals and recognized with their own special bank holiday.
13. Copyediting makes the world a better place.
14. Why we should all shop at Wal-Mart.
15. Starbucks is evil...wait, what?

Um...well, that's all I got for now. Hey, there's some Malibu left...guess I better to drink it. Go drink it, I mean. I think.

Bu-bye.
blogging
5,802 views 11 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

I've decided I like you, and you should feel real spesh cuz I'm real spesh!

""""That America became a better place when we decided we wanted Texas to be a part of it""""

I was on the brink of liking you before, but that push me over.

Trinitie

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

Um...well, that's all I got for now. Hey, there's some Malibu left...guess I better to drink it. Go drink it, I mean. I think.


Groupy 2 - Organize multiple applications into grouped tabs on your Windows desktop
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
I meant to reply that that sounded seriously easy going. *DOH*

Of course, my mistake means more points for you.... so it is all good.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well that's silly", you say.)


Well, right or wrong, it looks weird that way.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
""""That America became a better place when we decided we wanted Texas to be a part of it""""

I was on the brink of liking you before, but that push me over.


I guess that's a good way to get people to etiher love me or hate me. But I'd rather have you like me than not, which is weird 'cause I think you're the first person I ever had a run-in with here at JU. The good ol' days, eh?

I meant to reply that that sounded seriously easy going. *DOH*

Of course, my mistake means more points for you.... so it is all good.


Didja ever hear about that edit button thingy? Granted it doesn't work all the time, and particularly when I have a glaring error in, say, the headline, but.... Anyway, good to see you. Why aren't you blogging more? About my favorite blog ever was yours on Ashlee Simpson.

Well, right or wrong, it looks weird that way.


L.O.L. Yeah, I know what you mean. But for British English ("real" English, they try to tell me), that's the way it is. Also their quotation marks are single instead of double. 'Wicked'.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
11. That America became a better place when we decided we wanted Texas to be a part of it.




14. Why we should all shop at Wal-Mart.


blech.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
yeah....the good ol days....

Trinitie
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Didja ever hear about that edit button thingy? Granted it doesn't work all the time, and particularly when I have a glaring error in, say, the headline, but.... Anyway, good to see you. Why aren't you blogging more? About my favorite blog ever was yours on Ashlee Simpson.


Considering I have two copies of an article up that I can't fix, I think me and "edit" aren't really getting along lately. Why I am not blogging more.... that is a little more complicated.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
I enjoyed your musings which were particularly amusing and would have been even better with a helping of your pina colada!

On Saturday night I made myself and hubby a mixture...strawberry lemondade a healthy helping of rum...needless to say....I woke up very late on Sunday...and boy was I dizzy!
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
strawberry lemondade a healthy helping of rum...


I must still be dizzy I can't spell lemonade anymore and that's supposed to read...with a healthy helping of rum!
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
I enjoyed your musings which were particularly amusing and would have been even better with a helping of your pina colada!


You're welcome to stop by any time for pina coladas.

*sigh* I don't think this article was taken as tongue-in-cheek as I intended. Like the sun disappearing in a lunar eclipse? No, no, that would be a solar eclipse. &c.

Oh well. On with my day home being sick....

-A.