A Rose by any other name....

from JoeUser Forums
So the topic of horrible names came up today. How many people do you know who are saddled with a name to honor Great Grandma Ethel and really wish they could have been a Jane? Do you know anyone named John Johnson or Mike Michaelson? What about Justin Case? Or Justin Time?

We've all seen people with crazy names and I'm wondering what ones you have thought of. I know you secretly toyed with the idea of naming your kids something hillarious. Let me hear it!

Just to get the ball rolling. My sister in law joked about naming her daughter Poppy. Last name Cox. Let's just say, her husband and brothers came up with good names if it was a boy....not that they used them!

My last name is Stone. We thought of Roland for a boy and Rosetta for a girl. Once again, temptation was tempered by love for our kids.

So let the puns fly and the horrid name list start!
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6,501 views 38 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
My cousin had a classmate named Penny Nickel. Hehe.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Reminds me of the old "book" jokes, like

Ten Yards to the out house by Willie makit illustrated by Betty Wount

Or

The Constipated Chinaman by Hung Chow

or

The Yellow River by I.P. Freely

oh, never mind...
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top

Ten Yards to the out house by Willie makit illustrated by Betty Wount

I thought that was Betty Dount.  Guess I had the wrong illustrator!

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Under the Grandstand by Seymour Hiney

Sorry, couldn't help myself. Hard to stop me once I get started...
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top

There was an article in the British tabloids last fall about a man with the last name Peacock who named his son Andrew or Drew for short.  Drew Peacock.  DrewPea-cock.  I dunno if it was really true or not, but I got a laugh out of it.

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
old friend name light.. named there kids, rainbow, bud and sun.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
I knew a Happy Bell in high school. Parents considered naming her "Tinker".

I worked with a woman named Memory. Middle name: Lane. Her sister was Melody Lane. To make matters worse, we had a boss with a thick accent who occasionally called her "Mammary".
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

old friend name light.. named there kids, rainbow, bud and sun.

I'll take the Bud!

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top

I knew a Happy Bell in high school. Parents considered naming her "Tinker".

I knew twins in HS.  Mindy and Cindy Skaggs!

Boy was that a bad name!  They were anything but!

Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hahaha...Adrian told me about a guy he knew in Uzbekistan who was in the Navy and worked with the K9 unit. He was in the NAVY and his last name was GUZZLER.

He was...

Wait for it...

Seaman Guzzler! Hahhahahaha....you'd think he would have chosen a different branch.

Adrian also met an Army Major whose last name was Wood.

He was...

Wait for it...

Major Wood!

Priceless, eh?
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
A friend in high school was named Steve Bean. His mom kept insisting that if he ever had a sister, her name would be Ima Lima.

Ima Lima Bean.

Oh, and I could go digging through my old copies of Boy's Life for more of those Books Never Written topics... I'll be nice and leave them in the attic, though.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
You guys make me laugh! Thanks Chaos for reminding me about the boy's life. I used to read my brothers and laugh at those all the time!

In the Army you do get interesting combos. When SPC Major was promoted....and SSG Sargent we a couple. At DLI I knew a girl named Stephanie Seaman....in the navy. Yup that's right, Seaman Seaman!
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
I also knew a guy named Peter Sweet. Imagine our laughter when roll call was done last names first!
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
In junior high there was a girl named Sharon Tarbox.
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
My son did this. My second grandson's name is Rollie, Rollie Patrick Miller. Check the initials!

He has tried to tell everyone that he did not do it deliberately. But nobody is buying it!!!
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
My brother had a friend named Harry Pitts.

A guy I worked with brought in his yearbook to win a bet with another guy not believing a student's name. It was Harold Balls. I guess his parents weren't thinking. I hope they didn't named their daughter Anita or Ivanna.
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
My last name is Hall, I joked about naming my daughter Yu. I guess Carnegie would have worked too.
Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top

old friend name light.. named there kids, rainbow, bud and sun.

My Mother use to date a guy named Light.  Phil Light.

Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
In a past relationship the last name was Rice. We always kidded around saying we would name our kids: yellow, wild, uncle Ben, brown..I know, I know lame..but at the time it was funny.

Mymom said she went to school with a Mary Christmas, but I don't know if I believe it.
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top
no fair, you took mine in your blog. unfortunately with the last name Cox there are some real names you just can't go anywhere near; Ophelia, Harry, etc. I really wanted to name a boy with my maiden name Stone, but that is out for sure.

but I wanted to tell you, I went to school with a girl named April May June. too cute, don't you think?
Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
no fair, you took mine in your blog


sorry about that. but you inspired me!