On Grandmas
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
This is a difficult topic to tackle because my sense of family has been so dulled over the years of heartache. But in my husband I've found that people really still do have strong family ties, and people really do care for one another across the miles.
My grandma has had a rough time lately. Here's a recap: Link and most recently from my brother:
Hey, Ang! Hope everything is going okay. Grandma in Casper was released from Lifecare and went to go spend a few days with Gerry and Linda at their new house in Riverton. As of this writing she's most likely at home now. Finally. I've got to call her up and see how she's doing. The week before she left assisted living I drove up to see her and she looked a lot better if a bit thinner. She said she couldn't stand institutional food so I got her what she asked for: Popeye's Fried Chicken. It's actually not too bad. I saw G+L's new place that weekend, too. My god, it's huge!! Try giving Grandma a call sometime.
I know I should call and write letters. Well, I used to be really good at that kind of thing until I realized that no one ever reciprocated, therefore probably didn't appreciate my efforts. But I'm sure my grandma would love to hear from me. OK, so I'll writer her a letter. I'll make it all cheerful like I was before I grew up and learned that my family is just an illusion.
Anyway, what brings all that to mind is that my husband constantly reminds me that family is quite real after all. I remember the first time I heard him on the phone with his Dad (the guy who raised him; not really his biological father), I was surprised at how easily and naturally they talked together. My conversations with family are always strained and uncomfortable; courtesy calls really, that I look forward to the end of as soon as possible. John cried after talking to his paternal grandma for the last time because he sensed there was something deeply wrong with her. He was right. She had some sort of dementia and John wasn't even sure that she knew who she was talking to. And now John has been very concerned about his maternal grandma for several months...and rightly so. She has had a couple of scary health incidents, she has lost two sons recently...John loves and respects her very much and it's hard for him to see her going through hard times.
The quandry is: these people are old...very old. What do we do to quell their pain & discomfort as they live out the rest of their years? We are so far away.
I wish that modern life didn't separate families so much. People move too much. That's not how it's supposed to be. I would love to have grown up in the same town I was born in...met and married a boy...a man I'd known all my life...in the same town...live with or near our extended families...four generations living together. And talk about what handy, natural babysitters all those people could be!
Life just plain sucks these days. We have more modern conveniences and transportation and communication abilities that we've ever had before...and it's never pulled us so far apart.
My grandma has had a rough time lately. Here's a recap: Link and most recently from my brother:
Hey, Ang! Hope everything is going okay. Grandma in Casper was released from Lifecare and went to go spend a few days with Gerry and Linda at their new house in Riverton. As of this writing she's most likely at home now. Finally. I've got to call her up and see how she's doing. The week before she left assisted living I drove up to see her and she looked a lot better if a bit thinner. She said she couldn't stand institutional food so I got her what she asked for: Popeye's Fried Chicken. It's actually not too bad. I saw G+L's new place that weekend, too. My god, it's huge!! Try giving Grandma a call sometime.
I know I should call and write letters. Well, I used to be really good at that kind of thing until I realized that no one ever reciprocated, therefore probably didn't appreciate my efforts. But I'm sure my grandma would love to hear from me. OK, so I'll writer her a letter. I'll make it all cheerful like I was before I grew up and learned that my family is just an illusion.
Anyway, what brings all that to mind is that my husband constantly reminds me that family is quite real after all. I remember the first time I heard him on the phone with his Dad (the guy who raised him; not really his biological father), I was surprised at how easily and naturally they talked together. My conversations with family are always strained and uncomfortable; courtesy calls really, that I look forward to the end of as soon as possible. John cried after talking to his paternal grandma for the last time because he sensed there was something deeply wrong with her. He was right. She had some sort of dementia and John wasn't even sure that she knew who she was talking to. And now John has been very concerned about his maternal grandma for several months...and rightly so. She has had a couple of scary health incidents, she has lost two sons recently...John loves and respects her very much and it's hard for him to see her going through hard times.
The quandry is: these people are old...very old. What do we do to quell their pain & discomfort as they live out the rest of their years? We are so far away.
I wish that modern life didn't separate families so much. People move too much. That's not how it's supposed to be. I would love to have grown up in the same town I was born in...met and married a boy...a man I'd known all my life...in the same town...live with or near our extended families...four generations living together. And talk about what handy, natural babysitters all those people could be!
Life just plain sucks these days. We have more modern conveniences and transportation and communication abilities that we've ever had before...and it's never pulled us so far apart.
