Who Should Hold the Pursestrings ?

-the Household Pursestrings

from JoeUser Forums

The answer to the question above might be met with “Who else ? Me, of course!” replies until one turns to listen to the next guy’s surprising response, then the neighbors ’and their friends, not to exclude their equally surprising reasons.

It seems the further you get from your own circle, the less obvious your taken-for- granted answers become. Japanese and Germans, for example, share the view of male responsibility when it comes to handling money matters. Some Asian societies look at the female as the more responsible partner in budgeting. In the ‘ol US of A, with an active intermix of cultures and mores, the picture gets fuzzier.

My forefathers saw the male brood as the ones seeing the big picture and left the small details of penny-saving to the females and passed it on to me. So, it’s been like “ We need a van…….(?)” type of pronouncements from my end, (with a question mark at the end) and a queried look at the Family Treasury Dept., who with a Jedi-like wave of her hand tells me “We do not need a van..” This trick never fails to work on vulnerable mortals like me.

Oh well, .. how does it go from your end ? Or how do you think it should go? Is gender really a determinant for better (family) budgeting ?
2,006 views 5 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Right now I'm a stay-at-home mom, so all the income comes from my husband, but in the past we've always shared a bank account, with all income going into the same place.

I keep a budget and pay the bills. We discuss major purchases together. As far as personal spending goes, we communicate regularly about our financial situation, so we both know our limits at any given time.

I'd say it leans more toward me managing the money, but that's primarily for convenience because it makes for one less thing for my husband to worry about.

I think each family has to decide what works for them.

Sometimes you have one partner with a better sense for money, or one partner who is very busy and the other who has more time to deal with such things. My mother-in-law and father-in-law have separate accounts and they split the bills and each manage their own money. Meh. I think there are various ways to handle it that would work fine, so long as one partner does not take advantage of the situation and deny the other person the ability to spend money as needed.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Great Idea for and article!

This is something my wife and I discussed a lot as we were planning our marriage. I am better with money, but not that great at math, on the other hand, she is a math whiz (now studying to be a high school calculus teacher) but never had to worry about money, so she didn't know about little details like savings, budgets... not buying those shoes even though they look great! ;~D

She had to learn quick though, not long after we got married, I joined the Utah National Guard and a year later went Active Duty Army. I think most military spouses handle the day to day finances, with the servicemember in and out of the picture so often, it seems to make sense. Now that I'm retired, well, we are creatures of habit aren't we. I know how much each bill is and what it needed to cover them, and we've always made major decisions together, but she's the one who takes care of most of it.
WindowBlinds - Free yourself of the default settings, customize your desktop.
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
so long as one partner does not take advantage of the situation and deny the other person the ability to spend money as needed.


very important fine print there. I guess this is where communication and the nitty-gritty of being a family comes into play.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
I think most military spouses handle the day to day finances, with the service member in and out of the picture so often, it seems to make sense.


The situation seems to be true for most married males on the roam for the better paying job as well. For a growing number of the female population who have learned economic independence as single moms, my perception is they decide for separate accounts when they meet up with their new partner. I could be wrong, though.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Great Idea for an article!


Thanks, Ted!