I Should Consider Being an Asshole.

-Or- How nice guys finsh last.

As you witness life and partake in the adventures of society you come to a rather perplexing conclusion: If a guy treats a woman like shit...she falls head over heels in love with him. Maybe I'm just retarded or something...but does that seem a little strange to anyone else? I'm not saying this happens ALL the time...but a little too often to be a coincidence. I'm just asking you ladies out there, if any...why the hell would you put up with some guy ignoring you, being a dick, and treating you like a sex toy and passing up a kind hearted gent, such as myself? Is it some kind of fetish or are you just crazy? Many of the girls I know either go after my friend, Al...who has some kind of special woman drawing powers or shitheads that couldn't care less about the what the guy thinks or does to them as long as they get to be with them. I find some trouble in accepting this fact....perhaps I should start being an asshole....it seems to work well for about 80% of the guys I know...the other 20% consists of guys in good relationships or singles.

Well, maybe some of you guys and gals out there can tell me what the fuck is up with this.

'Till next time,
~Zoo
4,657 views 23 replies
Reply #2 Top
Don't worry Shaun, there's someone out there who loves you. All you need is to bottle some Al-monnes. Sorry Alex.
Reply #3 Top
Hahahhahaah! This article made me laugh zoo. Here, let me explain it to you. What happens is we (ladies) THINK we've found the Prince Charming becoz we THINK that person (the dickhead) has all the qualities we've been looking for. Except one day we realize that nope, turns out there are a LOT of flaws. But we believe, that it is only a matter of time til our love changes this person (the dickhead) to be perfect (which of course never happens).

That's why nice guys have to wait a little. We need to break our teeth more than a couple of times b4 we finally get it. The nice guy IS the one (D'OH!)...

Hope this helps you a bit zoo.

-Love & Light-
Reply #4 Top
Peter, do you have to write so damn large?

~Zoo
Reply #5 Top
Hope this helps you a bit zoo.


Yeah...that does explain a bit...thanks.

~Zoo
Reply #6 Top
I think that women tend to "settle" for something that's less than their standards, you know?

I'm one that chose NOT to go that route. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 22...but I got a *GOOD* one, you know? I know it's really hard to be a single in a world full of couples...believe me...I've been there. But take this time to prepare yourself for that one awesome girl out there who's just waiting for a guy like you go come along.
Reply #8 Top
You can erase this but: Fuck You!


And you can suck my dick, bitch!

~Zoo
Reply #9 Top
(Note to everyone else...Piper's like this a lot...so, there's nothing unusual about it. You guys don't need to get pissed.)

~Zoo
Reply #10 Top
Note to everyone else...Piper's like this a lot...so, there's nothing unusual about it. You guys don't need to get pissed.)

~Zoo


Ah ok, i was like WTF??? lol!
Reply #11 Top
Let me guess.....you got the idea for this article from my poem. Am I right? I think so. Oh well....that's okay I guess.

I just don't know why guys have to be complete assholes. I don't know how many times I've been hurt from some stupid guy that only wanted to go out with me to get some or something along those lines. And now that's why I'm so paranoid whenever a guy tells me I'm pretty or something because I don't know if they're really telling me the truth or if they're just telling me that so they can try to get some. I guess from going through so many relationships with a bunch of assholes it's hard for me to trust other guys. I can only think of one relationship that has never happened because the guy wanted to get some. And I think we all know which one that one was.

I always say that we should all be ourselves instead of something that other people or guys want us to be. And if they're not going to like you for that, then screw them. They can go have sex with some chic they think is hot and then get her pregnant or catch some std. More power to 'em!

~carebear~
Reply #12 Top
I'm definitely one of those foolish chicks who has gone for the arseholes and I think it all boils down to self esteem. When someone treats you like a queen and you don't feel like you deserve it, it makes you feel really uncomfortable and you think you're going to be exposed as the phoney you think you are.

You bring in to your life what you feel about yourself. Pretty much most of your relationships will reflect what you feel inside. Therefore if you feel like you don't deserve to be treated well you will put up with someone treating you badly. If you had the self esteem to say 'Wait a minute, you're a c**t. How dare you treat me like this' you wouldn't be in the relationship. Sadly many of us women out there tend to think that they only deserve this sort of treatment and seem to go searching for it.

Now, I don't think that this is a conscious thing. You'd have to be pretty mental to actually think to yourself 'I'm going to look for an arsehole because that's what i deserve'. It's a subconscious drive that allows our inner view to be reflected in our lives. It's not until someone learns how to be confident and self assured that they will be able to have an open, honest relationship with someone who will treat them well. As they say, you have to love yourself before anyone else can.

So all I can say as consolation to the nice guys is that you'll get us when we've finally figured all this shit out. We may be stupid and we may be taking our time, but when we finally get to you we'll be able to have the relationship that we all truly deserve.

I know it's hard, Zoo, but nice guys don't finish last, they win the race in the end. It just turns out that the race is much longer than anyone anticipated!

Take care,

Suz xxx
Reply #14 Top
I want you....oh yeahBIG beastly man


Jeffers, you are seriously disturbed...crazy bastard.

~Zoo
Reply #15 Top
Women "think" they like badboys,

sincerly, a badboy, reformed
Reply #16 Top
I'm pretty sure I'm speaking for most of the female sex(but maybe not)... Women DON'T like guys who are dicks or treat us like sex toys, we just like all of the attention! Shaun, the girl you find will be the luckiest women alive! You treat us like we have feelings...Thanks!

~Band Girl~
Reply #17 Top
Floozie nailed it once again..
Reply #18 Top
Floozy, you gals may figure it all out eventually, but guys don't want to go out with well-adjusted 60-year-old women.

I think a large part of the issue is not just the psychology of self-esteem, but the general issue of male vs. female roles. Speaking in generalities only (to which there are of course bound to be exceptions), women like it when a guy is a take-charge kind of person. You don't HAVE to be an asshole; what you have to be is confident, reasonably assertive, reasonably funny, and unpredictable.

A lot of "nice guys" cede control of their date to the girl, or think that piling on sincere compliments is the way to go, or try to give all kinds of little gifts. Those are all actually bad ideas, at least in the early stages of a relationship; you're not going to get far with that sort of thing. What you're doing there is telling the girl you're interested in her. That's nothing. All kinds of guys are interested in her; joining the herd isn't going to help you out at all. What you NEED to be doing is telling the girl that she should be interested in you. And again the keys are going to be confidence, humor, and at least a little bit of unpredictability.
Reply #19 Top
Floozie you hit it on the nail!

Alysha~ Are you sure it's because we want the attetion? j/w. I don't think I've ever went out with a guy only b/c they give me attention.

I guess assholes were meant to be here to teach us a lesson. Nice guys do finish first!

~carebear~
Reply #20 Top
If you want to really take that a few steps further... (I'm good at just going a bit too far, so don't worry, I know what I'm doing)

Nice guys do typically finish last, but by the time we get there the girls are tired of celebrating with the guys that got there fast and that stink from running all that way, that we end up looking even better in the end.

Capt. over and out!
Reply #21 Top
Nice guys do typically finish last, but by the time we get there the girls are tired of celebrating with the guys that got there fast and that stink from running all that way, that we end up looking even better in the end.


Heh, quite an interesting way to look at things...

~Zoo
Reply #22 Top
Floozy, you gals may figure it all out eventually, but guys don't want to go out with well-adjusted 60-year-old women.


Yes... this is a great point cita!

Sadly there are also many men who don't mature within a respectable amount of time either. I think humans are just a little slow on the uptake in general!

And hey - if I miss the boat this time, I can only hope to be the most rocking chick in the nursing home

Suz xxx
Reply #23 Top
touche Imajinit...

Zoo my friend... how I empathise... You don't have to be an asshole, you just have to have some self respect... whenever you find yourself in a situation where said woman want to 'hang out' or whatever, you have to sing a little tune in your head...

"I have a million and one things to do, I only have so much time, why should I give some to you?"

Women use nice guys... they can't help it, we are good listeners, and they don't feel like they have to impress us... because, well, we are already impressed. Just practice your game face man... no girl is so special that she is worth torturing yourself over... if you aren't on the same page - i.e., she want's to get together for a chat and some companionship, but you want to kiss her so passionately she wont remember what her name is, well, that is nothing but trouble for both parties, and it's best if you distance yourself from those situations...

Emotions are a bitch, and sometimes they are best kept to yourself. You just have to work on the game face, it's like a ridiculous game of tug-o-war, don't give them too much slack on the rope, otherwise you will fall face first in the mud, keep that tension omnipresent... chicks are crazy... they love the tension.

there is one magical word that has helped me when i find myself in the very predicament you are in - and it has served me many times...

"NEXT!!!!!"

good luck mate