Unsure & unhappy ...

It is a bit of a gloomy title, I suppose, but the that is the way I feel at the minute I guess.

is it just me, or is there sometimes an air of melancholy at this time of year?

I don’t want to sound “Scrooge-esk” but I have a little trouble getting into the Christmas Spirit, in fact I don’t think i would be too bothered if it didn’t happen at all. Don’t get me wrong, I feel pleased for all those people who get some happiness and comradeship out of the season, but I just don’t feel “right”

Maybe this is worse this year because everyone is feeling a little un-well, with one thing or another. I have yet another up and coming Sinus attack.My Mum has also been ill for the last few weeks, and it was obvious that she still misses my Dad very badly.

Maybe that’s why I’m feeling so detached. Christmas was defiantly his time of year.

He loved it. He had the family. He had his Grandkids. He had his Christmas “traditions” – the way he decorated the house,the cards , the whole Christmas experience.

Maybe I will feel a little better when I finish work on Christmas Eve. Even work this year has been “different”. normally, by this time of year it always seemed that the level of work tails off around Christmas. usually enough to do, to potter around. But this year? It’s absolutely crackers. We are all so busy, it just doesn’t feel like the Christmas buildup that i have come to know.

Maybe it is just that, now I’m a little over 40, that I’m feeling a tiny bit old.

Maybe its just one of those things?