We are not in same game with friends ?

Hello, yesterday I and my friend bought SoaSE Trinity and Rebellion, but every game when we player something strange is happening. Let me explain. At the start everything is in normal, We see our ships (play as team), visiting new planets a colonisating a even can send ships to support each other in trouble, but in one point of game, the game start acting "weird", that mean. I see mate's ships standing near homeworld and he has just one planet and doing nothing (only if enemy ship arrive to the system they attack, that I see on my monitor), but actually he has several planets and his fleet is fighting far away from here on his monitor. THIS IS HAPPENING BOTHSIDE. After that point we can't even support each other in trouble with ships because it's like "we are not in same game" but we are. We can send resources, and also chat and give tasks. And because of that at monitor of player 1, the player 2 is at some point later defeated because he is not protecting self. But, at monitor  of player 2, he is normally fighting away from there no enemy is attacking his homeworld. ,,AGAIN this is happening bothside,, And if one of players (as example player 2) is disconnected, the PC will take over his planet and ships, a his ships will start move and act like as they were not ,,there and active,, in that time.

We tried several games, most 2players vs 2PCs. Every time this happened. Please help.

Sorry for my bad english, I am Slovak.