Most Proctologists Are Probably Aliens

Some may be Astronauts, sending deep probes to Uranus......Just sayin'.

Good one Wiz!   

Then there was the astronomer who reckoned that the moon has bigger craters than Uranus... and that the evidence is plain to see when Uranus moons in the night sky.

See, that supports my theory.  I mean, aliens who come here are after all astronauts.... and when they infiltrate NASA to carry on with their dastardly intent, they become asstronauts to continue probing Uranus and others.

To be honest, I've always been suspicious of medicos whose specialty is Uranus and moon craters.  Like why the fascination with back doors?  I like sitting on the back porch and watching the night sky as much as anyone, but I much prefer arriving via the front entry to get a proper welcome greeting.  You just don't get that with back door entries: just a 'this might hurt a bit'.

Now I know why so many hillbillies like chewin' tobaccy.... fer somethin' on which t' bite down hard.

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OK...so who is mangling the smileys? .... JAFOCHECK 

Quoting Jafo, reply 7

OK...so who is mangling the smileys? ....  

That 'd be the alien proctologists, interfering with the natural harmony of things to cause insecurity, disbelief in self and a general feeling of being assimilated into another culture, being than less is than human.  Yup, the off-world bastards have gotten in everywhere, including our beloved Stardock, and we'll all become sub-serviant to a race of beings who seek to change our way of life to suit themselves.

I mean, seriously, when was the last time you fully understood a doctor who wanted you to undergo tests?  Yeah, they sound like Indian or Pakistani doctors, and maybe some are, but quite often the accents or dialects are slightly off and these are the ones to watch out for.... especially if you go there for a flu shot, and all of a sudden you're off to the proctologist for a scan of Uranus.

And to think, politicians all over have known about these alien proctologists for years and never told the truth of their presence here on Earth.  After all, politicians are the biggest assholes on the planet, and they probably have as such due to be probed themselves.  No wonder they're not telling the truth.  I mean, you would admit to falling for the old alien proctologist "you need a colonoscopy" trick?   I sure as hell wouldn't.  I haven't, but I wouldn't tell you even if I had....

.... and now you know where the "If I tell you, I'll have to kill you." originated.... with the victims of alien proctologists.

And another thing!  Why hasn't our resident doctor been in to say that he knows a few suspect proctologists who keep pestering him for more referrals?  Yup, the silence is deafening.

Could it be that he's inspected a few backsides during his career and that he's actually one of them?

I mean, why hasn't he 'outed' these invading experimenters, unless he's one of them?

That's right, Doc, come fess up cos we need to know if you're really one of us or not.    

FWIW......NASA is planning a probe of its own of Uranus. They hate competition.

If your hypotheses is accurate then the  entire Star Trek franchise was founded by these creatures?

Why else would a Star Ship circle Uranus looking for Klingons?

Yup!  And isn't the head of NASA a doctor?  Possibly a former proctologist?

Thing is, NASA hasn't mooned in over a quarter of a century, so nobody knows just how deep its craters are.

Why indeed!  In fact, the Klingons probably encountered these devious alien proctologists first.... or is that the other way around?   Either way, it's not a job I'd like to have.  I mean, don't Klingons have a bit of a reputation for being a bit smelly?   Nah, don't think I'd like to meet up with any Klingons.

I think the Klingons are suffering from an identity crisis. What with all the proctological stuff goin' on and the probes of Uranus and the fact that they could be hiding behind Uranus, could be the cause of the smellies, its no wonder they have three distinct personas. From TOS, ST/TNG and ST:D   

Yeah, I think they've been hanging around Uranus for so long that they've morphed from the original race into something completely different.  The thing that hasn't changed is that they still Klingon.... sometimes for dear life.

Just imagine it, all the Klingons floating around if the gravitational pull relaxed some and they didn't Klingon for dear life.   And the navigational hazards!  I know that I wouldn't like to come face to face with a bunch of Klingons just floating around.  It could get quite messy, and I'm not covered by insurance.

And you can always tell a short-sighted proctologist from all the others..... his nose is browner.

Then there was the woman at her proctologist's complaining about the procedure: "I don't know what's worse," she huffed: "having a baby or getting this examination done."

"Well come on lady, make up your mind," he retorts: "I need to know so I can adjust the chair."

Then there was the over-zealous proctologist who informed his patient that he could feel a large lump between his finger and thumb.

The patient retorted: "You fechen idiot, that's my Adams Apple."  

And did you hear about the one-armed proctologist?

He lost the other while assisting a woman who swallowed her false teeth.