Music Review: Alanis Morissette "Eight Easy Steps"

Alanis Morissette

Eight Easy Steps

Album: So-Called Chaos
Year: 2004

          Alanis Morissette provides self-help for the restless in the botched  “Eight Easy Steps.”

      A skeptical guitar opens the single, setting a sarcastic tone.   Ever since she was a child, she has been full of angst. It’s the one part of herself that she has understood. Starting in middle school, she wouldn’t act within her group of her friends. She would wait and see what her friends did first. In high school, she wouldn’t speak up to her boyfriends. She would always ask them for help, even if she knew the answer. She didn’t want to appear to be too independent. By high school, she would hang onto whatever friends she had by trying to turn them into her. Later, they would resent her and not speak to her anymore. She would talk to people but not really let them in. Around her family, she couldn’t really discuss her feelings. They would dismiss her as being dramatic. It lead her to bottling her emotions and not sharing her problems. The only time she felt loved in her family was when she was cleaning the house or making dinner. (“How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment/How to defer to men in solvable predicaments/How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you/How to have that not work and have them run away from you/How to keep people at arm's length and never get too close/How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most/How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone/How to feel worthless unless you're serving or helping someone.”)

In the chorus, her seminars are one-on-one, aimed towards both men and women. It’s a class that can be taken anytime with her. She’s a professional and knows what she’s talking about. (“I'll teach you all this in eight easy steps/A course of a lifetime you'll never forget/I'll show you how to in eight easy steps/I'll show you how leadership looks when taught by the best.”)

             She’s had men tell her they are a feminist and believe every woman should have equal rights. After a year or so, they demand why they haven’t been able to do what they want in the relationship. She’s had extended family turn their backs on her, telling her that she should seek God’s forgiveness for drinking and swearing. Then she found out that they go out to the bars all the time. Those same extended family members preach that “the gays” shouldn’t be allowed to get married and claiming it comes from the Bible. As a teenager, she dreamed of the day she would graduate from college. However, she later dropped out after a semester. She was doing well but was afraid what would be expected of her now. (“How to hate women when you're supposed to be a feminist/How to play all pious when you're really a hypocrite/How to hate God when you're a prayer and a spiritualist/How to sabotage your fantasies by fears of success.”)

            The chorus is sung again.

             In the bridge, she says life has given her the experience. She always been full of angst. It is who she is. (“I’ve been doing research for years/I’ve been practicing my ass off/I’ve been training my whole life for this moment, I swear to you/Culminating to this well-versed leader before you.”)

                       The chorus is sung again.

In the final section, she says she knows how to pretend and believe another truth, even if it’s not reality. She knows how to maintain the appearance of happiness while dying inside. She has used distractions around to stop herself from learning more about herself. Depression is the one emotion that’s real for her. (“How to lie to yourself and thereby to everyone else/How to keep smiling when you're thinking of killing yourself/How to numb  ala holic  to avoid going within/How to stay stuck in blue by blaming them for everything.”)

             The chorus is sung again to end the single.

          Morissette’s pressed vocals rattle off the words without absorbing them. She’s the bored professor, turning her back to the students and then claiming it’s their fault for failing.

It’s unfortunate given the single has a creative concept. The seminar as a metaphor is well-thought out. It’s really specific and introspective yet still relatable. It turns the concept on its head, giving the opposite advice instead of the typical be-your-best-self self-esteem boosters. Spoken word would’ve been the a better option.

             The stilted “Eight Easy Steps” has to let its lyrics breathe in order to fully work.