RagnorakEviscerator

Can Anyone Stop Seleuceia's Reign of Terror?

Can Anyone Stop Seleuceia's Reign of Terror?

Seriously, in the past couple of months this forum has really gone to pieces. Old-time trolls like Goafan and Protoplazm have really stepped up their game, trolling countless legitimate threads into oblivion. Their now-daily attacks on the sanctity of this forum have shocked thousands into silence. The Old Guard have dramatically expanded their recruiting efforts as well, nurturing promising new trolling talent like WOEaintME and Uncrustable. It would seem at this rate the entire place could turn into a troll fortress/breeding ground, ready in a few weeks to launch an assault on other stardock forums like GalCiv or Enchantress. 

 

Meanwhile, behind the scenes, Undisputed Troll King Seleuceia and his right hand man Ryat are slowly purging the few sane remaining members. Thoughtful responses by respected members of the community (like Sareth or ARESIV) are immediately attacked and scourged of all signs of intelligent life. Poor, innocent souls like Turchany whose only crime lay in seeking game help are now carefully indoctrinated into being fanatical members of the Tangerine Mountain Clan. 

 

Even the great Cykur has not been able to resist the clutches of their master plan. A member of the legendary Horadrim, he was responsible for the eradication of the first Troll Rebellion back in 2012. At the height of the rebellion, the fate of the world looked very bleak. Endless troll armies had overrun the kingdoms of Yarlen, Frogboy, and Kryo. They had even captured the heart of the Human Empire itself, the city of Riddleking. Hope was fading. But not for Cykur. Leading an army of only a few hundred men, he singlehandedly slew many troll grunts and the infamous one-eyed brute Quar. He finally came face to face with the most feared Troll King of all-time, Mecha-Lenin. For 40 days and 40 nights they engaged in a fearsome battle. From the lowest valley to the highest mountain top, the sound of their swords clashing sent shockwaves throughout the entire Earth. Finally, Cykur declared, "Now it ends." He unsheathed the Sword of the Morning and held it with both hands. The blade was as pale as milkglass, alive with light. Cykur plunged it into Mecha-Lenin's heart, transforming him into Human-Lenin and ridding the world of evil and trollery... A new era of peace and prosperity had begun...

 

He was forever after known as Cykur the Conqueror...

 

But now Cykur is dead... slain by his own treacherous half-brother Teun-a-Roonius, who wanted the throne for himself. Teun disbanded the great army of the light, and executed its generals ZombieRus and MajorStress, as he had come under the evil influence of Seleuceia. However, the protege of the great general Zombie, Sinkillr, managed to escape the clutches of the troll army and ensured that all hope was not lost. With dashing good looks and a great propensity for telling the truth, some even believe he is Cykur the Vanquisher come again. Rumors are swirling around that he is marshalling a huge army of truth and justice as we speak, ready to put an end to the Second Troll Rebellion. It is even said that many of the reclusive brony horse lords have made an alliance with Sinkillr, ready to purge the world of evil once more. We urge all followers of the light to join his great host, as he is our best chance of eradicating the troll threat. The infectious disease must be removed at its roots: the Fortress of MODrad-SPur. Only then will the great troll army be defeated; once, and for all.

 

May the MDs be ever in your favor as we start this holy crusade...

 

 

282,506 views 52 replies
Reply #26 Top

Quoting Sir-Rogers, reply 25

Flak spam production cycle started

You forgot that Unity Mass does chain damage so all your flak are belong to us.

Reply #27 Top

Quoting WOEaintME, reply 26
You forgot that Unity Mass does chain damage so all your flak are belong to us.

You forgot that rebels stick together and my many friends from scattered factions provide a sheer endless supply of flak to bring an end to Sel's oppressive reign once and for all.

Reply #28 Top

I expected the troll counter-attack to be fierce, but never to this degree... time to bring out the bronies...

 

 
Reply #29 Top

Entirely ON! topic : Anthem, God save the Sins (or Quar the Vasari - best fetish mutant model in the Universe) 

 

1. God save our glorious Sel

Long live the biggest troll

God save TrollGod

Send him victorious

Happy and trollious

Quar Save the Sins xD

 

2. Oh Quar, our Lord, arise

Scatter Yarlen and Ryat

And make Grimm fall

Confound their politics

Frustrate Nayru's five brains

Quar save us all

 

3. My choicest gifts in store

You take and pour upon yourself

Long May We Reign

May TEC defend the laws

And ever give them cause

To sing with heart and voice

BRING US THE FUCKING DEMOCRACY

AND A BIT OF RHYTHM

Reply #30 Top

Quoting Cykur, reply 6
I suppose this is how it must feel when famous people read about themselves in the tabloids....

Reply #31 Top

Lol it feels worse for them sel!

Reply #32 Top

With Seleuceia on the ropes, there will be a temptation for opponents to let up on their criticism, and to try to appear constructive, or at least responsible. There will be a tendency to want to let the trolls' plans sink of their own weight, to emphasize that the critics have been pushing sound reform ideas all along and suggest it's not too late for a bipartisan compromise over the next couple of weeks or months.

My advice, for what it's worth: Resist the temptation. This is no time to pull punches. Go for the kill.

The Troll King and his mindless minions shouldn't be underestimated. They're tough. They'll cut deals and twist arms to try to keep their priority master plan alive. They'll certainly attack their opponents, whether their opponents' tone is conciliatory or confrontational.

So this is not the time to let them off the ropes. This is the week to highlight every problem, every terrible provision, in the troll's plans: from tangerines and mountains to insidious indoctrination and pineapples to sleeper agents and troll allegations that flak frigates are not overpowered. Throw the kitchen sink at the troll plan now on the table, drive a stake through its heart (I apologize for the mixed metaphors), and kill it.

Then opponents can say, of course we do want to pass sensible troll prevention reform. But to do so, we need to start over.

Reply #33 Top

Do you have any life at all?

Reply #34 Top

Quoting Bartowski, reply 32
troll allegations that flak frigates are not overpowered

But they're not, it's myth 13 :p

Reply #35 Top

noticed an interesting effect from the 'chaining damage', it seems that it is working by attracting ALL objects (at first it appeared to be just the gravity well, but it now appears to be all galaxies)(this includes starbases, structures and ships but for some reason NOT suns, planets or asteriods) to the point of origin of the fire, so WHEN the antimatter powerplants collapse from the gravity of the  mass of ships, starbases and structures there will be REALLY big BANG(possibly big enough to steralise the universe.

harpo

Reply #36 Top

Quoting Bartowski, reply 32
With Seleuceia on the ropes

He always did make a great fall guy. :troll:

Reply #37 Top

HUYMAC SO CUTE

Reply #38 Top

Quoting Seleuceia, reply 33

Do you have any life at all?

*resists urge to write snarky comment about Sel's 5000 posts*

Im surprised no one got the reference. It was a rather famous quote during the fight for health care reform.

Reply #39 Top

The good 'ole days of trolling are long past, when I could post threads and people would take them seriously. This forum is far too jaded!

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Reply #40 Top

Things are truly going to shit, aye?

Reply #41 Top

The geography of the landscape in this thread was completely different a few days ago.

Incredulous as it is; what's so great about trolling as an art form, is forums like this that provide the medium of untraceable OP edits.

We are all in the presence of a paradigm shift in these message boards as we've known them.  Gone are the days of whimsical retorts, innocuous banter, and plausibly deniable non-denials.  We now enter into the age of troll transmogrification where no thread is safe.  No post permanent.  No reply assured relative to the post.

What sinkllr has done here is change the face of trolling forever. 

Tread lightly oh mindful posters, lest your meanings be spent; adrift in this soup of orphaned stirrings.  

 

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Reply #42 Top

This state occurs in the absence of a MechaLenin.

Reply #43 Top

Quoting Sinperium, reply 42

This state occurs in the absence of a MechaLenin.

We were waiting for you to join the troll resurrection.

Reply #44 Top

Quoting Sinperium, reply 42

This state occurs in the absence of a MechaLenin.

HE LIVES

Reply #45 Top

I think we can safely say the troll problem has been greatly reduced due to sinkillr's leadership. They are now forced to utter nothing but one-liners as the general public caught on to their lies.

Reply #46 Top

Trolls never die...they just respawn.

 

Darn...that was one line.

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Reply #47 Top

Sinperium is a known smurf of Sel's... You can tell by the abundant use of ellipses... 

Reply #48 Top

*comes back to check on site and forums, sees this and backs away slowly*

Reply #49 Top

Well played sinperium, well played...

Reply #50 Top

I am a playah.