Music Review: Nickelback "Rockstar"

Nickelback

Rockstar

Album: All The Right Reasons

Year: 2006

             Chad Kroeger dreams of being the biggest rock star ever in the self-aware  “Rockstar.”

                A daydreaming guitar opens the single, setting a wondering tone. He leans on the wall, smoking a cigarette. His best friend says they are only picking the pretty twentysomething girls to go inside. He throws his cigarette on the ground and stubs it with his sneaker. He tells his friends to go and that the bouncer probably thinks they are too old and grungy. They go to a bar around the corner and stay for a little while. However, it’s 10:30 am and he finds himself trying to keep his eyes open. Between the early mornings and the overtime, he’s exhausted. At his job, there’s a tiny window and the office is about the size of a dorm room. Everything is mashed together and he wishes he could quit. At 28, he thought his life would be better by now. The corner television of the bar is playing an old episode of MTV’s Cribs. It’s the life he wants to have. He would show off his 10 million dollar home. His favorite room would be the bathroom, as big as a stadium and filled with every amenity possible. Everything would be giant sized. He’ll flash his black American Express card and take the camera crew to his private jet. Inside, they will see it’s a hotel in the sky, complete with a bedroom in the back. He’ll grin at the camera and say he’s a honored member of the mile high club, achieving satisfaction for many. His tour bus would feature a collection of guitars from Keith Richards, Kurt Cobain and Jimi Hendrix. He’ll have enough money to buy his star for the Hollywood Walk of Fame and clout to demand to where to be placed. He thinks of buying a ticket to California, getting a makeover and finding an agent. He’s willing to do anything to get out of his small town. (“I’m through with standing in line/To clubs we’ll never get in/It’s like the bottom of the ninth/And I’m never gonna win/This life hasn’t turned out/Quite the way I want it to be (Tell me what you want)/I want a brand new house/On an episode of Cribs/And a bathroom I can play baseball in/And a king size tub big enough/For ten plus me (So what you need?)/I’ll need a credit card that’s got no limit/And a big black jet with a bedroom in it/Gonna join the mile high club/At thirty-seven thousand feet (Been there, done that)/I want a new tour bus full of old guitars/My own star on Hollywood Boulevard/Somewhere between Cher and James Dean is fine for me (So how you gonna do it?)/I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame/I’d even cut my hair and change my name.”)

In the chorus, he would love to be a celebrity. He’ll live in Hollywood Hills with a garage full of convertibles, SUVs and vintage cars. He’ll call his pop star girlfriend and walk around Los Angeles, trying to get papped. Later at night, at the show, he’ll sleep with favorite groupie. His dealer, also known as one his assistants, will provide him with some marijuana and cocaine as needed. The drugs will help he and his band to maintain their weight. In US Weekly, his name will be mentioned as a frequent visitor of one of the hot bars. He’ll meet various Oscar nominees. Every has-been reality star will surround him, telling him they truly understand him and love him for who he is.  (“‘Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars/And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars/The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap/We’ll all stay skinny ’cause we just won’t eat/And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars/In the VIP with the movie stars/Every good gold digger’s/Gonna wind up there/Every Playboy bunny/With her bleach blond hair/Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar/Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar.”)

He wants his home to be immortalized and given a classy name. He would be like to regarded as legend, creating riffs that every music writer agrees is mind-blowing. He’ll have bodyguards covering him and beating up the paparazzi. He’ll see a couple fans on the street and pose for photographs. Word on the Internet would be that he’s the nicest and even hotter in person. He won’t have to ever wait in line and the server would tell him to not to worry about the bill. The owner’s a huge fan. He’ll buy his clothes from the latest designers. Hugh Hefner will know him by name. He’ll hook up with a Bunny and give her his credit card as a gift. (“I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels/Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes/Sign a couple autographs/So I can eat my meals for free (I’ll have the quesadilla, uh huh)/I’m gonna dress my ass/With the latest fashion/Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion/Gonna date a centerfold that loves to/Blow my money for me (So how you gonna do it?)/I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame/I’d even cut my hair and change my name.”)

The chorus is sung again.

              In the bridge, he’ll say in the VIP access everywhere he goes. There, he will write songs and gossip about other people’s careers. The servers will do whatever he asks, even if it’s illegal or otherwise they will get fired. He’s going to have an album full of greatest hits that will have an parental advisory label. He’ll hide in his prescription pills in a Pez dispenser. Former rock stars will be paid to think of all his hooks, At the concert, he’ll have a pre-recorded track and an excuse thought of by his publicist if anyone finds out. (“And we’ll hide out in the private rooms/With the latest dictionary and today’s who’s who/They’ll get you anything with that evil smile/Everybody’s got a drug dealer on speed dial/Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar/I’m gonna sing those songs/That offend the censors/Gonna pop my pills from a Pez dispenser/I’ll get washed-up singers writing all my songs/Lip sync ‘em every night so I don’t get ‘em wrong.”)

              The chorus is sung again.

              The bridge is sung again to end single.

Kroeger’s slacker vocals play the humor with a straight face. He’s a regular guy that once had a band in college and believes it could’ve gone further. He’ll flip to MTV and think of what his music video would look like. His Rolling Stone and Spin subscriptions are the first bills he pays every month. Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top (who interjects at certain points) is his god, the voice he hears guiding his dream.

                The single requires minimal knowledge of pop culture, which is why it works.  A casual viewer of entertainment shows and magazines will get what Kroeger’s talking about, although they may dismiss some of it. However, it’s the hardcore pop culture enthusiasts that will get the most out of it, wondering what and who specifically inspired a certain line.

            The pop culture references are hit and miss. James Dean and Elvis Presley may be predictable. Cher is random but they are all really famous.  It’s what Kroeger aspires to be. The Playboy mentions, though, are outdated. It’s the Victoria Secret Angels nowadays. Movie stars date, rock stars get engaged to some and athletes marry them. It’s almost become a requirement for the well-known male celebrity on the verge of superstardom.

              The amusing “Rockstar” parodies the gossip headlines to a tee.