Music Review: The Chainsmokers "#Selfie"

The Chainsmokers

#Selfie

Album: N/A

Year: 2014

           A young woman preens on her camera phone while obsessing over her crush in the random “Selfie.”

A spastic beat opens the single, setting a trendy tone. She comments to her friend that she caught her crush, Jason staring at her.  She pokes her friend in the arm the next time he does it. Over some girl’s shoulder, he keeps sneaking glances toward her way. She continues to wonder aloud that if he’s using the girl to get her attention. She was up until 4 am last night texting him. He was asking her what was on her mind at about 10 pm and they started talking about everything. However, she also thinks he might want to just sleep with her, too. She asks her for her friend’s input and wants to know what he might be thinking. Then, she starts sizing up the girl he’s with. She asks her friend is she’s attractive and comments that she has a trashy style. The opening notes of Lana Del Rey’s “Summertime Sadness” come on and she groans. She says it’s cold and there’s still snow outside, melting in the street. It’s stupid he’s playing the song. Her friend says she has to go to the bathroom. She says she’ll come but wants to smoke afterwards. All the Jason stress has gotten to her. It’ll calm her down. She tells her friend that she looks awesome right now and has to record the moment. She raises her cell phone into the air, takes a picture and saves it. (“When Jason was at the table/I kept on seeing him look at me when he was with that other girl/Do you think he was just doing that to make me jealous?/Because he was totally texting me all night last night/And I don't know if it's a booty call or not/Sooo... like what do you think?/Did-did you think that girl was pretty?/How did that girl even get in here?/Did you see her?/She's so short and that dress is so tacky/Who wears cheetah?/It's not even summer, why does the dj keep on playing summertime sadness?/After we go the bathrooom, can we go smoke a cigarette? /I really need one/But first, let me take a selfie.”)

         The stylish beat puckers its lips.

       The XX Pro filter brightens her features. But on the other hand, she wants to look as though she was kissed by the sun with a golden tan. She picks her filter and tries to think of a caption. She wants to include her girlfriends, sound totally cool and yet emphasize the her lighthearted attitude. She posts the picture on Facebook and then checks her emails to see if she receives any notiifications. Within five minutes, only ten of her friends liked her photo. She immediately starts freaking out  There must be something hanging out of her nose. She takes another photo of herself, deletes the other one and posts again. (“Can you guys help me pick a filter?/I don't know if I should go with XX Pro or Valencia/I wanna look tan/

What should my caption be?/I want it to be clever/How about "livin' with my bitches, hashtag live"/I only got 10 likes in the last 5 minutes/Do you think I should take it down?/Let me take another selfie.”)

The spastic beat runs from note to note, unable to maintain it’s composure.

        She checks her notifications and reads that Jason liked her photo. She groans and says he’s such a jerk. Then, she starts people watching at the bar. There’s a guy asleep in the corner, drool all over his coat. Next to him, is a girl who is now barefoot with her high heels sitting on top of her purse. She thinks it’s totally gross. She sees a beautiful women and thinks she is an amateur who doesn’t have any real fans. She is known for going out on Mondays, which is the non cool day of the week to be at the bar. She says she would love to do some tequila shots. But at the thought, she holds her stomach and walks towards the bathroom, saying she feels nauseous. After dry heaving, she says it passed and now she wants to dance. After the dance, she says there is nothing with vodka in it. Other than Jason, she knows no one else and asks her friend is she sees anybody else. Her phone dings. It’s Jason! She asks her friend if she should sleep with him and then says she was able to get his attention anyway. (“Wait, pause, Jason just liked my selfie/What a creep/Is that guy sleeping over there?/Yeah, the one next to the girl with no shoes on/That's so ratchet/That girl is such a fake model/She definitely bought all her Instagram followers/Who goes out on Mondays?/Ok, let's go take some shots/Oh no, I feel like I'm gonna throw up/Oh wait, nevermind I'm fine/Let's go dance/There's no vodka at this table/Do you know anyone else here?/Oh my god, jason just texted me/Should I go home with him?/I guess I took a good selfie.”)

        “Selfie” is said about seven times.

      As the beat becomes hyper and intoxicated, she comments “let me take a selfie.”

      The beat rises as the young woman comments again “let me take a selfie.”

The young woman’s haugtiness,in the one-sided conversation thinks she is a celebrity, However, it’s only in her mind. She thinks she is the center of the everyone’s attention and is addicted to social media. Her self-esteem is raised or lowered by how many comments and likes she gets in a one day. If her numbers go down, she begins to wonder if she pushing the wrong image. She has no comedic timing whatsoever, taking it way too seriously while forgetting that Independent Spirit Awards are not given out for best actress in song.

      The fleeting “Selfie” plays it straight in an effort to be topical in its social media commentary, wasting an opportunity to make fun of it as well.