Music Review: Rockwell "Obscene Phone Caller"

Rockwell

Obscene Phone Caller

Album: Somebody’s Watching Me

Year: 1984

      A series of hang up calls freak out Rockwell in the chafed  “Obscene Phone Caller.”

        The sound of a rotary phone dialing and a creeping synth opens the single, creating  The telephone rings. He answers it and only hears breathing on the on the other end of the line. He slams down the phone. The harassment has got to stop. (“Hello, who is this/Obscene phone caller.”)

        The person must know his schedule. Every evening at exactly 6:10 p.m., the phone rings. It continues every half hour and finally stops at 9 p.m. By 9 p.m., he knees hurt from shaking and spots of sweat from his hands on his pants. He wants to know who the person is.and why there are targeting him. (“I came home knocked out after work/That's when my telephone goes berserk/How can I unwind or get some rest/Receiving sick phone calls from a lonely pest.”)

            In the chorus, he wants the person to go away. He also doesn’t have any idea who the person could be. (“Find someone else to bother/Mister or Miss Obscene Phone Caller./Why do you get off breathing on that phone/Obscene phone caller leave me alone.”)

           He wonders if the person chose him from all the names in the telephone book. He also wants to know what thrill the person is getting. It interrupts him during his television shows and when he’s eating dinner. He’s thinking of either getting a different number or contacting the police. Alexander Graham Bell would very disappointed in the person for abusing technology he worked so hard to create. (“Why did you have to pick me out of all the people in the directory/I don't know what's going through your mind/But these naughty phone calls are a waste of time/I must have my number changed/Or trace these calls from whence they came/If Alexander Bell were alive today/Would he want the telephone to be used this way?”)

            The chorus is sung again.

           In the bridge, he decides to talk to the person, thinking it might work.. In his most sympathetic voice, he says they can respond. He could be a girl that likes him and he doesn’t to risk alienating her. (“ Listen here/I don't understand why you're callin’ me, you know/I don't know who you are, you know/You're callin’ me every day, you breathe on the phone/Just let me know if you're a girl, you know/So maybe I can talk to you/You know you don't say anything but hah, hah, hah, hah.”)

              In the final chorus, he puts down the phone, muttering that person is an perverted idiot. (“Find someone else to bother/Obscene phone caller/You dirty little nasty twit.”)

            Rockwell, with his exaggerated outrage, has had enough. The person must not have a life. Why do they have to disturb his? The exception would be if it were a woman who was afraid to talk to him. He doth protest too much.

             The irritated “Obscene Phone Caller” huffs and stomps around while quietly enjoying the attention.