Music Review: J. Geils Band "Centerfold"

J. Geils Band

Centerfold

Album: Freeze Frame

Year: 1981

•      Peter Wolf can’t believe a former classmate is now a Playboy model in the flabbergasted “Centerfold.”
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•      Optimistic keyboards open the single, setting an awed tone. As he sits down on the toilet, he flips through the car magazines covering the table to find the Playboy hidden underneath. He admires a gorgeous blonde riding a horse. Although the petite brunette can’t pull off straddling a motorcycle. They may be attractive but they can’t match the innocent beauty of his junior high crush. Beautiful and poised as a doll, he wondered what she was like at home. She walked with such grace. She seemed incapable of tripping on the sidewalk. She spoke in eloquent sentences. It was unlikely she swore if she was frustrated, the vulgarity would sting her mouth. He only saw her during homeroom. Fo the entire 45 minutes, he focused on her, watching her as she listened to the lecture. Otherwise, he would see her in between classes.  Seeing her in homeroom is one of his favorite memories from school. (“Does she walk? Does she talk? /Does she come complete? /My homeroom homeroom angel/Always pulled me from my seat/She was pure like snowflakes/No one could ever stain/The memory of my angel/Could never cause me pain.”)
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•         In the pre- chorus, he reaches the middle of the magazine. Turning the photo, he sees his junior high crush giving the camera a come-hither look, her naked body on display for the world to see. (“Years go by I'm lookin' through a girly magazine/And there's my homeroom angel on the pages in-between.”)
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•          In the chorus, he does a double take. His knees begin to tremble. Is she ok? Did she run out of money? Does she have an out of control drug addiction? His warm recollection of her takes on a darker edge. The sweet young girl he fell in love is now selling her to the highest bidder.  (“My blood runs cold/My memory has just been sold /My angel is the centerfold /Angel is the centerfold/My blood runs cold/My memory has just been sold /My angel is the centerfold /Angel is the centerfold.”)
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•      In homeroom, the few times she would look at him were to pass along a note to somebody else. It would be usually when he was staring at her. He didn’t want her to know and he let gaze fall upon the floor. Her smile illuminated her eyes, which glistened like the ocean.  (“Slipped me notes under the desk /While I was thinkin' about her dress /I was shy I turned away/Before she caught my eye/I was shakin' in my shoes/Whenever she flashed those baby-blues/Something had a hold on me/When angel passed close by.”)
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•       In the pre-chorus he mentions she would often wear conservative sweaters that disguised her shape. If she only knew what he was thinking, she would gasp. Sometime after high school, she was corrupted by somebody and they stole her innocence. It hurts to see such a virginal soul be lost. Whoever she was before is gone. (“Those soft and fuzzy sweaters/Too magical to touch/To see her in that negligee/Is really just too much.”)
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•       The chorus is sung again.
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•        The band “na na na’s”
  
                   She’s famous now. However, he now sees her as person. He hopes it prompts her to return home and they can bump into each other. He’ll get in her car and they’ll go to a motel to have sex. (“It's okay I understand/This ain't no never-never land /I hope that when this issue's gone/I'll see you when your clothes are on/Take your car, yes we will/We'll take your car and drive it/We'll take it to a motel room/And take 'em off in private.”)
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•  In the pre-chorus, he is absolutely blown away by the news. He has to tell everyone he knows. He won’t ever let his subscription lapse ever again. (“A part of me has just been ripped/The pages from my mind are stripped/Oh no, I can't deny it/Oh yea, I guess I gotta buy it!”)

          The band “na’s na’s” as Wolf sings the chorus.

         Nonchalant whistling ends the single,

          Wolf’s colloquial vocals recount his brush with fame, his early concern vanquished by the allure of becoming known himself. He leans in closer to his high school buddies (with magazine in hand), his eyes wide, describing the moment he first saw the picture in the detail. He had good intentions at first, wanting to protect her honor. Then, he realizes she’s just like every other girl and hey, maybe she’ll sleep with him now. She’s not the high class priss she used to be. She not at all discriminating in her choices now.

             The opportunistic “Centerfold” would have TMZ on the phone so fast, selling whatever photos and video he had cluttering up the basement.