Music Review: Carrie Underwood "Last Name"

Carrie Underwood

Last Name

Album: Carnival Ride

Year: 2008

        A weekend Vegas trip with the girls leads to a messy situation in the unglued “Last Name.”

   A panicked guitar opens the single, setting an astounded tone.  Whistling and running water rouse her awake. She puts her hand on her forehead, the sharp trilling seemingly puncturing holes into her brain. She flops back onto the pillow, groaning. She overdid it even after she told herself she wouldn’t. Eric, the guy she hung out with all last night, walks out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. “Hey baby,” he says, leaning in to kiss her. She returns his kiss and starts wondering where she put her cell phone. Oh My God, she thinks, he’s my one-night stand! (“Last night, I got served a little bit too much of that poison baby /Last night, I did things I'm not proud of /And I got a little crazy /Last night, I met a guy on the dance floor and I let him call me baby.”)

            In the chorus, she knows his name is Eric. That’s it. Not even an initial springs to mind. Before she left for vacation with her friends, her mother told her to be careful. From the hotel room, she can see her shaking her head. She’s the conservative one in the family. She’s only had two serious relationships and didn’t even live with either of them. He had such a gorgeous smile and when he called her “Cutie,” she landed in his arms. What exactly happened last night? (“And I don't even know his last name /My momma would be so ashamed /It started off, hey cutie where you from /And then it turned into oh no, what have I done/And I don't even know his last name.”)

           She remembers driving around in his Pinto a little after 3 am. After that, nothing. What was she thinking, leaving with some guy she just met? And the 1980 Pinto? It was a red flag he was the debauched type that she would avoid. It was the tequila. Once it gets into her system, she’s another person. (“And we left the club right around 3 o'clockin the mornin'
His Pinto, sitting there, in the parking lot, well it should've been a warnin' /And I had no clue what I was gettin' into /So, I'll blame it on the Cuervo/Oh, where did my manners go.”)

             The chorus is sung again.

            In the bridge, she was dreaming about Elvis singing “Jailhouse Rock” to her as they walked into the Bellagio. In front of millions of fans, he asked her to come on stage and marry him. She texts her best friend (who has left a dozen messages for her), letting her know she’s all right. As she types, she sees a glare on her screen. She moves her left hand over and sees a wedding on her finger. She fumbles for the clothes as Eric asks her what’s wrong. She tells him they have to go. Now. She can’t be married! She assures herself that it’s part of the Vegas experience. Las Vegasdeals with all this time. It’ll be annulled by the time she gets home. (“Here we go/Today, I woke up, thinkin' 'bout Elvis somewhere in Vegas
I'm not sure how I got here/Or how this ring on my left hand just appeared outta nowhere /I gotta go, I take the chips and the Pinto and hit the road/They say what happens here, stays here, all of this'll disappear /There's just one little problem.”)

         In the second chorus, she adds she’s now Mrs. Eric Something. How is she going to explain this to her family? (“I don't even know my last name /My momma would be so ashamed/It started off, hey cutie where you from/And then it turned into oh no, what have I done/And I don't even know my last name.”)

            In the final section, she wonders how she’s going to deal with this? It’s a legal matter now.  (“What have I done/What have I done/What have I done/Oh, what have I done/I don't even know my last name /Well it turned into, oh no what have I done/And I don't even know my last name.”)

                    The chorus ends  the single.

              Underwood’s observant, flustered vocals become stressed as she learns more of what happened. It was supposed to be fun but not in the OHMYGOD, get the family lawyer on the line way. She’s never going to live this down. Her friends will be calling her Mrs. Eric Something until she decides to get married (fully sober).

        The freaked out “Last Name” is an entertaining meltdown.