Music Review: Nelly Furtado "Big Hoops (Bigger The Better)"

Nelly Furtado

Big Hoops (Bigger The Better)

Album: The Spirit Indestructible

Year: 2012

    Nelly Furtado reminices about her adolescence in the stagnant “Big Hoops (Bigger The Better)”

   Scrutinizing synths open the single, setting a lounging tone. The bridge starts it off as she says the fashion style in the mid-90s was over the top. (“The bigger the better/The bigger the better/The bigger the better/The better the bigger/The bigger the better/The bigger the better/The bigger the better/The bigger the better/The bigger the better/The bigger the better/The bigger the better/The better the bigger/The bigger the better/The bigger the better/The bigger the better/The bigger the better.”)

  It’s Friday night and she’s going over to a friend’s house. As she’s getting ready, she puts her big, golden hoops on her ears and adjusts her pant leg, which is on her shoe. She doublechecks her backpack to make sure she has her spare makeup and tells her mother goodbye. She’s looking forward to dancing to music and seeing her friends. At the friend’s house, she notices the same guy (who she thinks may be in her third period gym class) walking by her almost all night. She references Blackstreet’s hit “No Diggity” and says the guys are trying to look cool by dressing like the members of Hi-Five. She again references another song, Salt-N-Pepa’s “Let’s Talk About Sex..” (“Tonight is the jam/I'll be there till dawn/I'm going down, I've got my big hoops on/Pant leg so wide, I've got my backpack on/I'm gonna hear my favorite song/Hey hey hey, what's the scenario/The boy keeps passin' my by/I said no diggity, no doubt/I thought I told you I was fly/Yeah he and all of his friends they/They got that hair like Hi-Five/I don't wanna talk about sex/Wanna express myself tonight.”)

   In the pre-chorus, she says she can dance really well. Fast and slow, she can many moves. None of the other kids don’t even know of her most of her dances. They will continue to play the radio and dance until the early morning. (“I can go fast, I can go slow/I can go places nobody else goes/I can move fast, I can move slow/I can go places nobody else goes/Everybody say hey, they goin' at it all night and day/Everybody say hey, they goin' at it all night and day.”)

     In the chorus, it’s her turn and she has the wowed the group. She takes a drink of soda, buzzed that she has impressed everyone. (“I betcha never seen something like that like that like that like that/I betcha never heard something like that like that like that like that/I betcha never seen something like that.”)

      The references continue. First and second lyrics, it’s Bel Biv Devoe’s “Poison” and New Edition’s “Can You Stand the Rain.” Third, fourth and fifth lyrics are Brandy’s “I Wanna Be Down,” Brandy’s “Baby” and Aaliyah’s “Back and Forth”. The sixth lyric is Wreckx-N-Effects “Rump Shaker.” She doesn’t have to act like she’s a good dancer. She is one. (“That boy gonna feel my poison/I know he can't stand the rain/Like you wanna be down with your baby/Back and forth, back and forth/Back, back, back and forth/You got my rump rump shaking them another back/When you should not real/And I never have to fake it fake it/You know I oughta move quick/And I gotta move slow/Cause there ain't no wind in the road.”)

      The pre-chorus is sung again.

     The chorus is sung again, with two extra “I betcha never heard something like that’s”

    The bridge is sung again.

    The bridge stops for a minute and she says “Oh, I thought this song was over.” Unfortunately, it’s not. She adds that there’s more. (“No it’s ain’t over yet.”)

    A small part of the pre-chorus is sung. (“I can go fast/I can go fast/I can go fast.”) A shortened version of the bridge is sung again with Furtado adding “I can go fast” in between.

     For the final shortened bridge, the words are slowed down as though the batteries are dying in the boombox which finally ends the single.

   Furtado’s monotone, mumbly vocals are short-winded. Every word is labored, encumbered by Auto-Tune, plodding along in slow motion. She remembers her youth with little fondness. Unless it’s about her. The boys annoyed her. Her friends aren’t mentioned much. The dancing was fun, though. She was the star then and her peers were in awe of her.

    The numerous mentions to 90s R&B songs dominate the single to the point where there isn’t a narrative anymore. It’s simply a list of once popular songs which are far better and worth the effort of checking out on their own. New jack swing isn’t even given a nod in the arrangement which makes the mentions unrecongnizable. Without any extra reading about the single from the audience, it would be guesses if the song was about the 90s.

   The clashing “Big Hoops” takes a quick glance at the past without any appreciation.

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