Music Review: Miley Cyrus "7 Things"

Miley Cyrus

7 Things

Album: Breakout

Year: 2008

          Miley Cyrus thrives on her dramatic relationship in the irritating “7 Things.”

           An affected guitar opens the single, setting a hammy tone. Cyrus and her boyfriend have decided to meet. They broke up yet again after she spotted him talking to another girl. He wants to get back together. She isn’t certain. They started out well. He took her out to see a movie and they would talk. They would do their homework together and help each other out. Then, two months later, she noticed he only focused on himself and wouldn’t compliment her. But she still likes him. However, he needs to be called out on his bad behavior first. (“I probably shouldn't say this/But at times I get so scared/When I think about the previous/Relationship we've shared/It was awesome but we lost it/It's not possible for me not to care/And now we're standing in the rain/But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear/The 7 things I hate about you.”)

       In the chorus, she lists his faults. He only cares about himself, he’s manipulative and tries too hard to get attention. He flirts with other girls and she doesn’t know what he’s actually feeling. His friends make fun other people, including her and sometimes he’ll join in with them. She knows the sweet side of him and it’s what keeps believing it’s worth it. (“The 7 things I hate about you (oh you)/You're vain, your games, you're insecure/You love me, you like her/You make me laugh, you make me cry/I don't know which side to buy/Your friends they're jerks/And when you act like them, just know it hurts/I wanna be with the one I know/And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do/You make me love you.”)

          He can’t say anything in response. She asks for him to apologize and then they’ll get back together again. It has to be real and he can’t rely on texting anymore. He has to show her he’s changed. (“It's awkward and silent/As I wait for you to say/What I need to hear now/Is your sincere apology/And when you mean it, I'll believe it/If you text it, I'll delete it/Let's be clear/Oh I'm not coming back/You're taking 7 steps here.”)

         The chorus is sung again.

       In the bridge, she admits there is plenty of good in him. Maybe she’s been a bit harsh.  (“And compared to all the great things/That would take too long to write/I probably should mention/The 7 that I like.”)

     In the in the final chorus, she thinks he’s hot, especially in his worn out jeans. He’s a fantastic kisser. He upsets her but he’s funny, too. She likes being his girlfriend and she wants to be with him. (“The 7 things I like about you/Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's/And when we kiss, I'm hypnotized/You make me laugh, you make me cry/But I guess that's both I'll have to buy/Your hand in mine/When we're intertwined everything's alright/I want to be/With the one I know/And the 7th thing I like the most that you do/You make me love you/You do (oh) .”)

           Cyrus’ nagging, histronic vocals reek of immaturity   She falls into the trap of his pretty face and status being his girlfriend brings. She’s as shallow as he is. She plans a major meeting between them to tell him what bothers her. Then, the second she’s realizes she may have lost him for good, she takes him back. She didn't really mean it. The cycle she despised in the beginnings begins again.

           The 7 Things wrong with this single: the drama, the shouty chorus, the amateurish production,  the artificiality, the desperation for a boyfriend, the double negative in the first verse, the emphasis on looks.

And what’s best: it’s over.