Mecha-Lenin Mecha-Lenin

[requesting sticky, as usual]MechaLenin's Guide to Trolls is back! All newbies must read.

[requesting sticky, as usual]MechaLenin's Guide to Trolls is back! All newbies must read.

Frogboy is control freak with a tiny penis.

 

Since this forum is plagued by trolls, megalomaniacs and annoying characters of all kinds, I'm bringing you this guide to to help you identify these posters before they get into your head.



TIER 1 trolls -these trolls are a threat to your sanity


King of Kings-

We all know KOK. He is dellusional. He will often rage and start sweareing your family till 10th generation.

Very dangerous and insane troll. He truly believes what he is writing and he could kill for it if he only know how.

Stay away, his paranoia is contageous and transmitted by close contact (see Kbroke)

He often tells the tale about his glorious victories which never took place and some interesting story about bia clan.


Sinperium-

Troll whose life ambition is to become a pop superstar

allegedly took up the alias 'worldstrider' and used it to troll countless forumites into oblivion

while many view this theory to be bunk, it must be said now that this theory has now been confirmed along with the theory that Ryat was the one who was behind the infamous "I blame Ryat thread"

Countless thousands are shocked by Sinperium's blatant disregard for decency and propriety, and by his frequent postings of unintelligible gobbledygook on a near-daily basis.

This scandalous figure relishes the attention we give him and often makes posts about himself just to be able to read something that he has written.

This troll deserves a tier higher than the ones already present.

Reviewed by KrdaxDrkrun

 

 

 

MayallCommunion-

This is a very dangerous witch troll who pretends to make treads concerning game balance, but whose secret intentions lie in nerfing everything that has the potential to destroy the Advent. Generally, her comments seem very reasonable, yet they are filled with lies that unwary newcomers consume in all their innocense.

Mayalls comments alone are not the most dangerous tricks this evil troll has up her sleeve though. The real nasty stuff happens where nobody but her victims can see it. In private messages, the witch troll indoctrinates carefully selected forum newcomers, and they eventually become mindless husks that support Mayall publicly, no matter what she states on the forums.

Because of her steadily growing army of husks, she seems to be an important figure here on these forums, as she gets support on most of his threads here and that makes it even harder for irregulars to see the truth behind the lies.

She also awards her husks with karma points every now and then, as a meaningful reward for their loyalty. Rival trolls like Sareth and Riddleking are also awarded karma every now and then, yet this is not uncommon behavior for a witch troll. She does respect fair competition, it would seem.

Reviewed by Teun-a-Roonius

 

Teun-a-Roonius- awaiting review

kbroke- awaiting review

Cilverbug- awaiting review

Admirat Hoth- awaiting review

Major Stress- awaiting review


TIER 2- They are sometimes serious, which only adds to their unpredactibility. Although not as annoying as TIER 1 trolls, they are still very potent.

 


RiddleKing-

This guy is a master at mixing half truths with subtle lies...he tends to go through a cycle with four stages:

  1. The Lurker phase- long periods (relatively) of little or no activity...the occasional posts in this phase lack both gravity and evidence of trolling
  2. The F*&% you phase - right when the community least expects it, he'll go on a tirade about how uber retarded you are...usually his analysis in this phase is more or less correct, and at this phase he begins to build credibility...
  3. The Remission phase- after the dust has settled, he'll go into a very serious, very caring mode...his comments are reasonable, seemingly thought-out, and sometimes a little lovey-dovey, almost to the point of flambouyancy...
  4. The Troll phase- using the recent credibility he's obtained, he'll start giving tips or comment on strategy...at first, he'll seem reasonable, but as time goes on this expert troll will gradually integrate small lies and misinformation into his "advice"...very often, people defer to his "advice", falling into a cleverly built troll trap...even the wisest forum members sometimes get caught by RiddleKing...

Reviewed by Seleuceia


Ue_Carbon-

This guy is a true shit disturber, a "real player" if you will...

His strategy is simple...first, he'll align with the modders and troll the MP crowd...then he'll troll the modders, alienating himself from his own kind...then he'll get on TeamSpeak and tell his modder friends how great they are...somehow this master strategy results in modder vs. MP forum battles of epic proportions, and at the end of the day everyone forgets the subtle manipulations he performed...

He is also infamous for the "Bomber Rage Quit" or BRQ...simply amassing a large fleet of bombers almost guarantees a rage quit from this troll, leaving his wingmen to fend for themselves...

Reviewed by Seleuceia

 

Sareth-

One could call Sareth tenacious and determined...or one could call him just stubborn and hard-headed...his trolling scheme usually starts with a controversial topic or suggestion from which he will adopt a ridiculous position...his "opinions" are followed by walls of psuedo-logic that easily persuade the feeble-minded...only the strong willed can see through his deceit...

This troll is so good at trolling, he'll even sometimes troll himself and actually believe what he is saying...this only makes him more convincing, more determined, and more dangerous...only the well-prepared and strong-willed should fight this dangerous foe...

Reviewed by Seleuceia

 

Volt_Cruelerz-

With this troll comes the age-old adage that silence is deadly...

for his silence is only interrupted by occasional posts that contribute to the general paranoia which serves as a barricade to newer players.

When he does post something out of the blue, it will most often be some kind of rage-filled comment against the many changes that the Sins devs have not implemented in order to make the game better for all players. Use extreme caution when approaching him on these grounds.

He is shamelessly antisocial and will rebuff all attempts to fraternize with him with strange comments about his mods or just nothing at all...

In spite of his trollish behaviors, he has shown himself to be dedicated to his mods and to be coherent on that account, warranting him a tier two placement.


Huymac-

He is a notorious Ironclad Online chat troll. He's an asian fella with a little man complex, who's favorite sins pastime is to tell everyone how great he is.  He is a banker who shamelessly steals from the mouths of the poor to give to his already lavish lifestyle.  He is also quite proud of this fact.  Aside from shouting his own praise, his other pastime is to initiate arguments online and lose them.  He is a notorious Ironclad Online chat troll.

Reviewed by Sareth

 

BrazilianJoe-

This troll is most commonly known for making threads on the forum that contain the word "official", making new victims believe that Brazillian_Joe is a Stardock or Ironclad representative. Even though he may be a tier two troll, this guy is a serious thread to your health.

Besides making his own threads seem very official, this Brazillian troll also declares threads from legitimate forum users (and sometimes even threads made by other trolls too!), unoffical. Making newcomers think that Joe - pretending to be a StarClad representative - knows best and therefore they will listen to him rather than to innocent forum users, whose threads are banished into the deeper layers of the forums, where they will remain unseen for a long long time...

Luckily, numerous smarter trolls (mostly the tier 1 trolls), have pointed out to the newbies that Brazillian_Joe is a cheap troll instead of a StarClad rep, and now most forum regulars are very aware of him. Joe lies under heavy fire regularly these days, being stuck at +9 karma for weeks by now. This does not make him any less of a try-hard though, and he continues to bring more dangerous trolls and influential forum regulars down with seemingly official statements.

Remember, once the Brazillian troll starts to post replies that are filled with words that no one can even find in the regular dictionary, get the hell out of that thread! For if you stay too long, his Brazillian voodoo-magic will draw you nearer and nearer to becoming a slave of the Brazillian troll... An average Joe!

 

 

Polistes-

This troll enjoys such a low rating because we have yet to determine just what his motivations are for trolling the rest of us. He is most certainly enjoys the thrill he gets from making all of the pro gamers mad, but otherwise his presence is quite mysterious. He is coherent and intelligent, which also prevent him from getting higher up in the tiers.

Polistes is widely known for flaming the pro gamer portion of the Sins community and going off on tirades about how Single Players don't care anything for balance and they just want to have fun. When the modders respond to him, he just ignores them, and instead continues to berate the targeted pro gamer(s) until he feels that they have been sufficiently riled. Then he turns around and attempts to make you feel like you have wronged him somehow.

In order to avoid making him mad, attempt to make him feel better about himself with pictures of cats and cookies and bunnies. This will most certainly help keep his infamous 10-post barrages down to a minimum.

Also, do not mix Seleuceia and Polistes. They do not seem to get along well. Reviewed by KrdaxDrkrun.




TIER 3- SPECIAL TIER


Yarlen-

This troll has such a low placement because us Forumites have a soft spot in our hearts for him and we do not want to embrace the truth:

Yarlen is renowned for making promises void of any substance and for making vague references to incoming content for the game.

There is no denying his dedication to the forums, as it seems that he is the only developer who even reads what we write...

In spite of that, it is generally felt that he does this not out of some obligation to the community, but out of some demonic thirst for fresh ideas, which he promptly consumes, leaving vague promises in his wake.

Beware, if you see him in your threads, it is not because he is looking for fresh ideas to implement into the game, but because he is looking for newer players to drain the life force from.

Now we know why certain people have such brief stints on the forums:

Yarlen is on the hunt.

 

Kryo-

This denizen of the forums is well-loved by all who appreciate the fine art of being able to pass lots of things off to other people.

He is well-known for his infrequent postings making mention of the feared "Contact Stardock Support" in response to a problem...

but, not to worry, as Stardock Support is very good at fixing problems, and it usually only takes them a week or so to solve a problem that could've been solved in a few minutes...

We've always figured that it was never Kryo's fault that he didn't have the time to answer our questions, so we give him a tier three ranking.

Newcomers beware though, Kryo has a severe dislike of spam posters, which he appears to share with another denizen by the name of Jafo. So, in order to stay on his good side, do not post useless threads, or you will soon discover just why his name is Kryo.

 


MEGALOMANIACAL BORES-

 

Ryat -

More celebrity than a real troll. Will do everything to be visible (wonder why didn't he published his sex tape yet)

Usually he is shallow and has nothing to say but will write a lot of sensless comments just to get some karma.

Ignoring him is strongly suggested

Reviewed by Quar

 

Howdidyoudothat-

How used to be a cool guy. But time passed and How got old and entered andropause.

Now he danies everything he used to do. He is dead earnest and deadly boring.

With age came paranoia. In Howthe's case, it's serious, he sees little blue people everywhere like a drunk who sees white    mouses.

With delusions came a hipocrisy and megalomania which drove him to become a denunciator.

All that fits him perfectly to MEGALOMANIACAL BORES category.

 

(pathetic)ACHIEVEMENT WHORES-

 

BOTA99

Polistes

Yurka_Sanctuary

Warpeeg

Classicvibe

ogoor

 

JUST WHORES-

 

SemazRalan- "yeah, I'm just a whore"

 

SELEUCEIA TIER-

Empty so far. No idea who should I put here.

1,394,600 views 573 replies
Reply #101 Top

Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 100

Quoting AgentExeider, reply 99
Quoting Qu4r, reply 98
Quoting AgentExeider, reply 97
Quoting Qu4r, reply 96

Quoting GoldenLegion, reply 92Guys , where is the love?

 This is love. Lovers fight.


Yeah, the opposite of Love is not Hate, it's Apathy

Because Hate means you still care...



 

WTF are u blind? if the didnt care they wouldnt spamm whole page!!!

 

I was agreeing with you, I was pointing out that people equate Hate as being the opposite of Love, when it's not, Apathy is the opposite of love. So when people say they Hate, it means they still care.

Like Hitler?

 

Bingo..

Reply #102 Top

Please keep reviews coming, I can't believe MayallCommunion, Teun-a-Roonius, kbroke or huymac still didn't get theirs.

Reply #103 Top

Huymac-

He is a notorious Ironclad Online chat troll. He's an asian fella with a little man complex, who's favorite sins pastime is to tell everyone how great he is.  He is a banker who shamelessly steals from the mouths of the poor to give to his already lavish lifestyle.  He is also quite proud of this fact.  Aside from shouting his own praise, his other pastime is to initiate arguments online and lose them.  He is a notorious Ironclad Online chat troll.

 

Reply #104 Top

Quoting GoldenLegion, reply 92
Guys , where is the love?

The love has been doubled.

Reply #105 Top

Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 100
Like Hitler?

Or Lenin?

Reply #106 Top

Quoting Ryat, reply 105

Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 100Like Hitler?

Or Lenin?

I'm not marxist.

Reply #107 Top

Ryant - more celebrity then a real troll. Will do everything to be visible (wonder why didnt he published his sex tape yet)

Usualy he is shallow and has nothing to say but will write a lot of sensless coments just to get some carma.

Ignoring him is strongly sugested

Reply #108 Top

Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 106

Quoting Ryat, reply 105
Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 100Like Hitler?

Or Lenin?

I'm not marxist.

And yet you use his name.......

Quoting Qu4r, reply 107

More celebrity than a real troll. Will do everything to be visible (wonder why didn't he published his sex tape yet)

Usually he is shallow and has nothing to say but will write a lot of senseless comments just to get some karma.

Ignoring him is strongly suggested. Reviewed by Quar

Ooooh!

My own bio. Sex tape is in the works!

You guys are so my idols.

Reply #109 Top

I admit it...Carbon has me mind controlled--at least I assume so 'cause that's what he tells me.

Decency and propriety--sounds like pride and prejudice to me.

I do not know this "worldstrider" fellow.  That's a vicious rumor I started.

Reply #110 Top

Quoting Ryat, reply 108
And yet you use his name.......

Some people just don't get jokes.

 

Quoting Ryat, reply 108
Sex tape is in the works!

Let me guess. Modder LAN party?

 

 

Reply #111 Top

Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 110
Some people just don't get jokes.

Agreed

Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 110
Let me guess. Modder LAN party?

You know I don't play MP. I am all SP action.

Reply #112 Top

Quoting Ryat, reply 111
You know I don't play MP. I am all SP action.

Yeah, some people just prefer playing with bots.

Reply #113 Top

Quoting Ryat, reply 108Sex tape is in the works!

Let me guess. Modder LAN party?

 [/quote]

 

Quoting Ryat, reply 111


Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 110Let me guess. Modder LAN party?

You know I don't play MP. I am all SP action.

 

More like a handy action

Reply #114 Top

Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 102
Please keep reviews coming, I can't believe MayallCommunion, Teun-a-Roonius, kbroke or huymac still didn't get theirs.

I'll do Mayall if no one else does for a while...know kbroke only by name and to be honest I don't know what to say for Teun-a-Roonius....

Reply #115 Top

Thanks for editing Qu4r's comment. Makes better sense to those who can't read his Ingrish very well.

Reply #116 Top

Quoting Qu4r, reply 113
More like a handy action

Is that not, by definition, SP?  Unless it's circle jerk, then it might by MP...

Reply #117 Top

Quoting Seleuceia, reply 116

Quoting Qu4r, reply 113More like a handy action

Is that not, by definition, SP?  Unless it's circle jerk, then it might by MP...

That is my point yes.

Reply #118 Top

Quoting Seleuceia, reply 116
Is that not, by definition, SP? Unless it's circle jerk, then it might by MP...

Well, then it's not a sex tape.

No, Ryat, jerking off is not having sex. It's something different.

Reply #119 Top

Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 118
No, Ryat, jerking off is not having sex. It's something different.

OH my bad.

I guess I am not as intelligent as you guys. Maybe I should go onto ICO and see how it really is.

Reply #120 Top

Quoting Ryat, reply 119

Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 118No, Ryat, jerking off is not having sex. It's something different.

OH my bad.

I guess I am not as intelligent as you guys. Maybe I should go onto ICO and see how it really is.

You still havan't explained how you are going to make that SP "sex" tape.

Reply #121 Top

Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 120
You still havan't explained how you are going to make that SP "sex" tape.

Quoting Mecha-Lenin, reply 112

Quoting Ryat, reply 111You know I don't play MP. I am all SP action.

Yeah, some people just prefer playing with bots.

You already garnered the explanation yourself. Bots do wonders for ones self esteem.

Reply #122 Top

lol this is a funny post

so who is who among trolls

hope  u enjoy! if there is any mistakes let me know :)

Reply #123 Top

Noooo, Guide is still work in progress. Great effort though. In all honesty, as a creator of this list, I shouldn't have been included. Regardless, I think it's place is in OP:)

Reply #124 Top

i can update as needed:) what is OP? 

Reply #125 Top

Axxo, that's awesome lol.