Philly's Out of the Hospital
Appendicitis can kill you
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Well, when Philly decides to do it, he does it right. He's given me permission to reveal what happened (I have to say that).
He's at home resting now, but over the past week, he's been a sick puppy. Seems he developed appendicitis, and while he was hospitalized, it decided to go "pop!".
Wish I had a pic of him to 'shop' with a 'hose up the nose'... but no luck. 
Seriously, this kind of thing can 'dispatch' one... so we're lucky to have the old coot around.
So leave the old goat a "Get well Philly"... ok?
Here's the humble room he "occupied":
Euphemism translation:
"Sound absorbing materials" = Your agonized screaming will not be heard, so don't bother.
"Less walking" = They amputated both legs. So what you were admitted for pneumonia?
"Natural lighting" = Do all your reading during the daytime. We're too cheap to spend money on light bulbs. "Candles not included."
"Patient lifts" = Well, you don't expect us to do that, do you?
"View our new patient room" = You didn't really think your room looked like this, did you? You get the old one. Here's your room:
And stop whining about "Where's my bed?
seriously tho I hope you feel better soon