Chuck VS Chow.....Oooooh this will end in tears...

Later, Chuck and Chow meet for their showdown, but before they get down to some of that Kung Fu fighting, they have a little chuckle about how their names combined sound like a case of food poisoning and how the chow mein got chucked up.  With so much belly laughing going on, neither man was up for a fight, so they sent out for a couple of stand-ins to do the chops for them while they sought out a place that did chicken wings a shitload better than KFC.

Thing is, will the men ever get to fighting or will they just set depth charges in the casino dumpster and hope to blow a purlioner of others identities sky high?

Mr. Chow is gonna slam dunk Chuck Norris into the middle of next week. Then he's gonna take a five day vacation, come back, limbre up and practice really hard. When Chuck Norris arrives in two days  Mr. Chow will slam dunk him again and this time it will be into the middle of next year. Then Mr. Chow will take an extended vacation in Sweden with his lovely Nishuki overlooking the fjord whose name I can't pronounce. In a hot tub, with bubbles and a rubber duckie.

I thought Mr. Chow drove a Chjevrolet. 

Wiseguy

... that Tokyo Rose brought along to liven up festivities as more of the dumpster bandits are rounded up and jailed.  The chief of police, however, isn't so happy.  The arresting officers hadn't searched the detainees too well, and now there's a massive food fight going on in the cells with oodles and oodles of McDonalds leftovers being flung about all over the place.  The clean up bill for this is going to be enormous, and the police chief is considering sending it to Mr Chow....

Anyhow... back to the hot tub, wher Mr. Chow is canoolding with Nishuki and the timeless beauty, Tokyo Rose, who by this time has introduced a vibrating device to massage Mr. Chows bruises and other aches and pains......

Um, has Mr. Chow gone on hiatus or has he gone even deeper undercover?

Word has it that Stockholm's condom vending machines have been the target of vandals/thieves/practical jokers, and that Mr. Chow may or may not be involved in tracking them down.  Apparently, when randy residents of Stockholm go to their nearest condom vending machine to do the right and appropriate thing, the get themselves protection, they instead are dispensed a chocolate bar with a competition from Cadbury on the wrapper.

Hmmm, very curious, very curious indeed.  Is this the work of vandals... the work of thieves... or the work of misguided practical jokers who are trying to spread the message that candy is waaaay better than sex?

I guess only Mr. Chow can answer that question.

[quote who="the daily stockholmer"Sex IS waaay better than Chocolate any day [/quote]

Yeah but chocolate taste better, not so salty............... Oops!

While time goes by Mr Chow is sitting and talking to his friend Sum Dum over a cup of Orchid-tea in the Park lounge Beside Stockholm-China Hilton hotel......

Um, it was a while ago now, but last I recall it tasted more like whipped cream and strawberries.

But then again, I probably paid the bit extra.

... where they discussed the missing condoms and what they may be used for.  Another friend, Dum Son Ofa, has just joined them and he suggests the culprits may melt them down to make tyres for their aging but tireless Volvos.  Mr Chow is doubtful but says he will keep an eye out for Volvos with condom coloured tyres on them....

But with the advent of black nail polish and lipstick hiding the obvious is easy so Mr. Chow places a call to the Lokala Wax On Wax Off Institute and speaks personally to Bjorga Hassan Thistlemeyer, the inventor of Black, a re-knowned Nobel Laureate back in the day, and requested an immediate cessation of all shipments of same color condoms via Ho Chi Meyer's Underground Taxi Service, presently relocated to downtown SkaalsBurgerJointenn, and was assured that the kickbacks agreed upon during a previous op would not be affected thus allowing Mr. Chow unlimited access to............... 

.... larger sized condoms as he complains bitterly that regulars cut off his circulation.  However, Chow's friend, Mr. Hung Lo, advises that if he were to place them on the correct part of his anatomy, not only would his circulation improve, his shoes would not keep slipping off.... and catching felons would be much simpler. 

In the meantime, though, a black market has arisen and the streets of Stockholm have been flooded with unlicensed rubber products that have been reconstituted from the stolen vending machine condoms.  Police have warned consumers not to be fooled by the cute looking rubber duckies and have advised unassuming buyers not to bathe with them as reports have surfaced that some purchasers have had their private parts pecked at while in the bath.....

After apprehending the condom bandits, Mr. Chow has decided to go on a six week sabbatical and contemplate his navel while getting into some peculiar yoga positions.

Still on sabbatical, I see... or...soooo deep undercover that news of Mr. Chow's whereabouts/well-being/state of mind cant dig its way out.

Is My Chow one of those guys who flies around on wires like in the movies?

It's a case for Martin Beck

I'm thinking the guys down at Baker St might weigh in on this one yet... because it may not be as 'elementary' as one may assume.

Now I hear there's a rumour going 'round that Mr. Chow took an oxygen bottle and mask with him.

No, not for erotic dalliances... but because he's sooooooo deep undercover there's no freakin' air down there.

That's why we're not getting any news!  It suffocates before it can reach the surface.

The narrator is thinking to wait for Mr. Chow to reveal his next to do. Stay tuned ........ I think.

Hello ...... hello ...... is anyone to home?

Dammit, I think they've disconnected the doorbell.

Quick, break down the damned door... somebody inside may be in trouble.

[besides, I've bin waiting out here so long and I gotta get in and use their toilet]