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'Twould be in ye best interest to be speakin' like a scurvy-ridden seadog, aye! Thar I was and thar she be, 'twas the largest link this eye ever spied:
So me hearties, get ye eye patches, n' hooks, n' peg legs, pour ye a cup o' grog, and spit out ye olde piratey words, savvy?
Ahoy Mateys...where be's ole starkers when ye need 'im. I and me mates are hopin' he be's awwright what wit the movin' and all. If ye be's out there matey drop us a holler an' let us know what ye been up to.
Miss ya dude.
Tis true, we be missin' the company of ol' Starkers on this, the most honorable day for pyrates, arrrh. I'll be workin' t'day, so's won't get much chance t'be post'n like a pyrate, but I've donned me pirate shirt and loaded up me cell phone with pyrate ring tones fer when I'll be takin' over as customer serrrrrvice durin' me watch, as I celebrate TLAPD, arrrrrh.
It be's the proper thin' to do lassie. Servin' them thar customers with Piratical enthusiasm, Har Har Harrr.
ARRRH! Where be tha' renegade Englishman starkers an' 'is Missus?
Oi! Shaunna an' Mark... ye drown'd in yer 'ot tub now?
Ahoy mateys, I be switching the flag o' me avatar to thar dreaded Jolley Roger. An' nem's that no like it'll be walkin' the plank.
Aaarrrrr me hardies, tis a fine fine bit o' treasure we ave' in this ere' piece o' news. Huzzah!
Ye might wanna carry a big ole club with ye matey. I hears them wenches over at Ye Ole Wincustomize be a feisty bunch. Wouldn't wanna get caught with ye britches in a twist eh what.
Aye, some be just that, arrgh. Our fair k10w3 be a might fiesty these days as well.
@ Karen 
GAARRGHHHH!!!!!!! I missed this 'ere speshul day cos them thar landlubbers at tha internet office didn' 'ave me conneckshun up n' runnin', did em?
Tha baaasterds!!!!! I wur ready, willin' n' able, but I wur cast 'igh n' dry, marooned by them thar geezers wot should 'ave hoisted tha mainsal ta get I on tha net faster. If'n I finds out wot landlubbin' swab wur draggin' 'e's feet, I'll 'ave 'im 'ung frum tha yard arm n' get tha missus t' flay 'e's back open wiv tha cat o' nine.
Still, it be better late than ne'er. AARRRRR. 
Arrr, us'll 'ave ter git ye brandishin' tha cat o' nine all feisty like when the crew ain't be'avin' all proper n' all. 
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