To Tesser

1. Hold the windows key down (right next to fn and left alt keys)
2. With the windows key still pressed down, press and hold the 'F' key
3. It will now automatically install the program for you!

What exactly are you trying to do?

Or is this supposed to be a lame joke?

Teseer does tech support. He once said he was annoyed by idiot customers who can't do easy things (like install programs)

I responded with a hard to resist, "curiosity killed the cat" anti-troll. Windows F opens the search menu. By holding it down, it opens ~4 windows per second, each slows your computer down considerably.

And now for something, completely different

I also work a tech support job. A woman came in today and showed me that the disk drive on her laptop was separated from her computer. To fix this, I put it back in. No screws, no tools, you just take the disk drive, and fit it into the rectangular hole. Afterwards, my coworkers and I were shaking violently with laughter. (We also joked around, pulling our disk drives out and trying to put them in vertically to mock her stupidity) Poop was so money.

He just thought you were having a problem and that he might be able to help T_T

Indeed.

I hate you Synn, lmao.

If we're swapping idiot tech support stories:

I was talking to this one guy who for one reason or another needed to boot to safemode. So I tell him:

'Alright sir, lets go ahead and do this: Shut your system down. Leave it off for about 15 seconds. And I want you to, as soon as you hit the power button, begin hitting F8 at a frequency of about "f8, f8, f8"(Gotta use your imagination here). Keep hitting it until you see Advanced Boot Options. Let's go ahead and do that now'

Ok, simple step but I feel I gave pretty percise instructions.

...

...

...

3 minutes go by and he doesnt say a word. So I say:

'How are we doing?'

He says:

'The screen is still black'

I ask:

'Did you hit the power button?'

And I get...

'I thought you were going to...'

I've been doing tech support all over for about 5 years. This was the only time I was actually stammering.

notalwaysright.com . Hilarious site for tech support people, waters, cashers, etc. to post dumb customer stories. You may already have heard of it.

I'm a computer enthusiast and can easily work as a techie though I fear that for dumb customers I may be there if somebody working in the cashier at Bordershop (store in Germany on the border to Denmark selling alcohol) has written anything.

I had beer under the "customerwagon" (don't know the correct work in english) and bottles in it. Put up the bottles and when I had payed I went quickly out of the store and heard a HELLOOOOO, HELLOOOOO. I turn around and realize I've forgotten all my bottles

The cashier was shaking his head in frustration when I got back. Think he was tired of confused Swedes that day 

You jest, but we get that a lot.

And, its TESEER! Gawshish!

I know but its funnier this way tesser

I hate it when people on vent call me Teaser.

Makes me sound like a loose chick.

Ah the joys of working in services....

I get my share of...troubled calls; most of the time it's just at the beginning.

"Good day, thank you for calling [company name] , How may I help you?"

"Yes, is this [company name]?"

And I'm too polite that I can't just snap back at them.

At least it's by phone and not face to face (easier to control your reaction on the phone)

My favorite convo was one I over-heard another agent having.

I used to work at Dell and this was a caller who's system died a week after buying it. We still don't know why because hes just bitchin (which, btw, for those of you that don't know, a VAST majority of hold time is agents having to listen to bitching) so I hear the agent say:

'Sir! When you purchased a Dell, you entered into a relationship. Just like all relationships, it has its ups and down. My job here is to turn those downs into ups. So sir, please allow me to do my job and swing this down back to an up.'

I almost died.

The best one I have ever seen:

A lady needed to remote desktop to her computer in her office from her laptop while she was training new employees. For some reason she was unable to connect to her office computer from her laptop. I went to her office to solve the problem and could not find her computer. I went and got her and brought her to her office, I thought maybe the computer was a small form factor hidden in a very clever place. (I should have followed the monitor cables etc behind the desk, but she was just right down the hall)

I asked her where her computer was. She told me that she didn't have a computer in her office, that she docked her laptop and used it. At that moment, I could see it on her face as she came to the realization that her laptop was also her office computer, she was trying to remote to her laptop from her laptop. 

To this day I still don't understand what she thought she was going to be able to do by remoting to her imaginary PC from her laptop. What programs she thought were on it that she didn't have on her laptop etc. But the look on her face was priceless.

Another tidbit: When we pull PCs for repair, we often get numerous calls from people telling us their computers are not working and we have to tell them it is because the computer is not there. A lot of baby boomers think the monitor is the computer.

Wow. Just Wow.

I'll tell ya. One thing Tech Support does: You feel a HELL of alot better about yourself when you leave.

The way I look at it, I don't need you to know ANYTHING about ANY computer. All I require is this:

The ability to look at a picture and find something on it

That's it. If you lack that ability, you're an idiot. Period.

I was doing that when I was 5 at the Dentist with Highlights Magazines.

I don't know jack about computers compared to some people. (especially hardware)

Tech support makes me feel better about it though. I think people have assumptions that they make and limit themselves. People who think they're dumb are dumb. If you think you don't know anything about computers, you won't try to fix problems; you just assume you can't fix it.

Thats it, right there. I have no issue with someone never even SEEING a computer before.

BUT! If they start with 'I'm a computer neophyte" they are absolving ALL responsibility for any intelligence on their part.

Again, no issue if you don't know how to use a computer. Thats my job. But if I say something like...BASELINE simple, such as getting to control panel:

If I say:

'Click Start and go to Control Panel' 10 times in the course of troubleshooting, YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW TO GET THERE IF I SAY 'Go to Control Panel'. UGH! God I hate people.

Great, lmao. Next Tues-Wed-Thurs.

BTW, my dad saw me playing DG once and said: "this 'teaser' guy sounds like a child molester" (probably because he thought your name teaser instaed of teseer)

But todays friday teaser

Errum. *Cough*

You know what the best part of vent is? I can read everyone's posts in their voice.