banned for letting this thread go for 1000 pages

Not that that is a bad thing. 

Banned for being the first to put his stain on the 1000th page.

banned for joining the fun

Banned for having fun during the pause between Xmas & New Year.

banned for thinking i have a pause there

Banned for calling me the "Space Pony" even though some people do call me the "Gangster of Love".

It really, really, really makes me want to shake your tree.

Banned for calling up an earthquake to shake his tree.

banned for sending vibrations through the air to manipulate others

Banned for airing manipulation plans to coerce others into vibrating trees and space ponies.

banned for forgetting the stoned

Banned because the cat got stoned.  

Banned for taking the cat to a bong party in the first place.

banned for bonging on the pots and pans

Banned for not having a pot to p!ss in or a pan to puree pumpkin in.

banned for needing your pumpkins pureed 

Banned for not licking your pumpkin soup bowl clean.

Banned for eating pumpkin soup--blech.

Banned for adding perium to your name to cloud the sin and confuse Beelzebub. 

Also banned for that guttural burp that reeked of pumpkin soup garnished with onions.

banned for not wanting to confuse the lord of the flies

Banned for using a fly swatter to fend off Lord What's 'is name.

Banned for using only half your wit which left us dumbfounded.

Banned for spending the majority of your time dumbfounded and not seeing wit, even after it jumped out of the hedgerow and bit you on the buttocks.

banned for stoking the fires of the ban game

Banned for sending in the coal to fuel said fires.

Banned for stealing the coal since said fires don't need more fuel.