Some Women are Complacent because of the Men in their lives

A woman's point of view

I read a recent article written by Brad, “Men are too short sighted women are too complacent”, http://draginol.joeuser.com/article/335427/Men_are_too_short_sighted_women_are_too_complacent ,  where he opined his observation of short sighted men, as well as how complacent women are.  That is, unintelligent, uninteresting, and boring (same difference). 

Let us look at this from a different angle, and discuss for a moment what exactly does a man want from a woman, other than the usual sexual encounter that is?  We can pretend that the first thing the man will think of is… “I wonder how intelligent she is?” or we can be honest and know that he will be thinking…”Nice rack” or “Not bad looking, nice body…etc.” or something else about her looks.  Let’s face it people, men are men; they will continue to be the way they are! And why not, it is what keeps our world interesting is it not?

 

There are those men who want a woman to be the blond bombshell stereotype: shapely, lots of hair, looks good on his arm, does everything he says, in essence she might as well be a doll, and dare I say a sex toy?!

 

Some men want the type they can take home to mom:  still looks good on his arm, not too much make up, not more intelligent than him, wants babies and will stay home no matter what.  He will happily marry her because she will have no aspiration to outdo him! (now I’m being insulting to my gender! Forgive me ladies, trying to make a point!)

 

And of course, there are those men who want the ideal woman, she is a mixture of the bombshell (not necessarily blonde), and the stay at home type, and she will have an opinion, seek out new things, but she will no matter what, let him be the ruler of their world because he is king of his castle after all!  This is obviously not a nice way to think of any woman right?

 

But let us say that men think with their dicks no matter what; and women are only out to get what they can from a man because that is what they do!  Then, predicatively, they become boring and uninteresting because they now have what they want, and are no longer interested in themselves or their lives for that matter!  This gives the men the excuse to go outside their marriages in search of the next big perky tits and firm ass because wifey at home isn’t looking as good as she used to? (Have I insulted any men yet?)

 

Insults aside, then again, would that not be the predictable way to think about what a woman is and what a man is? 

 

Now let us briefly examine why exactly would a woman become complacent?

 

I make no excuses, yes; there are those amongst my gender who have perhaps given up on their lives.  Perhaps because they cannot muster the energy to do one more thing after all that they do for everyone else; whether that is at home, or work, or both!

 

There are also those in my gender who have let the daily happenings in their lives dictate their lack of interest in seeking…. anything.  Some of us have given up.  Some feel there is just no need to bother because they are just going around in circles anyway.

 

All that may be true, for some women, (even for some men!), but it is not a valid or fair prediction!  It is pretty easy to say that a woman has become complacent but I would say the same of some men as well! (And that is not trying to give “tit for tat”)

 

The women who do choose to get married (or involved and settled down) and whether they have children or not, of course their outlook will change!   They would be really stupid to be on that one-track pony because they are older, and wiser, their focus will be on whatever is going on in their lives!  They will talk about their children; they will talk about housework, exercising, and the food they like to eat, their habits, because it is what their focus is at that time.  But who is to say that they don’t read books, or are not interested in what is going on in the world around them?

 

Perhaps because they are too busy caring for the men in their lives?  After all, if it was not for the women in their lives, how could the CEO run his company?  Who would take care of the finite details that are so necessary to have a happy and successful marriage and family life?  Who is the glue that keeps the family unit going?  To whom would the children look for guidance if mommy didn’t know how to be a mommy?  Which she learned by being involved in the happenings of her daily life?   And this is a woman being complacent….how?  

 

I will attest that some women will become uninterested in themselves, yes, because sometimes, it is what being married, and especially, with children, does to a woman, because of her focus being only on the husband and the children.  (Half the time if the man were less selfish, it would not be so.)    It does take a woman being older, and wiser to their own needs that takes them out of being this way and leading this type of existence.  Because they realize that it is OK for them to have a life of their own! Oh yes, there are 40 and older women who do live very interesting lives. 

4,694 views 14 replies
Reply #1 Top

Yes, it's always someone else's fault.

The man is always holding the woman down... :\  

My wife, incidentally, isn't complacent.

Reply #2 Top

 

Yes, it's always someone else's fault.
The man is always holding the woman down...
End of quote

Out of everything I wrote, you saw only that?  8(|

Confess, you skimmed didn't you? >_>   

 

My wife, incidentally, isn't complacent.
End of quote

Jill?  Complacent..?  Perish the thought!  :(O

 

Who is the glue that keeps the family unit going?  To whom would the children look for guidance if mommy didn’t know how to be a mommy?  Which she learned by being involved in the happenings of her daily life?   And this is a woman being omplacent….how? 
End of quote

My point is that women ARE NOT COMPLACENT...no matter what they do!  :yes:

Reply #3 Top

I can only say one thing about men and women.

Men tend to just want to be. They are who they believe they are and nothing else matters. If we 40, we are 40. If we strong, we are strong. If we are weak, we try to be strong somewhere else. basically, as you put it, men will be men.

Women, on the other hand, don't want to just be. If blonde, some want to be redhead or brunnette. If they 40, they are 30. They look for a man they think they like and then they want to change them. They are only strong when it suits them.

If women know how men are (at least according to your article), why complain?

Reply #4 Top

Confess, you skimmed didn't you?
End of quote

I confess. I skimmed. ;)

Reply #5 Top

My point is that women ARE NOT COMPLACENT...no matter what they do!
End of quote

..And no man is a bad father, no man is a poor husband, etc.  Everyone is equally good... ;)

Reply #6 Top

I was going to comment, but I am enjoying your back and forth with Frogboy! :LOL:

But I will say that as with all generalizations, all fall short.  Just as exceptions can be found for Brad's (whether they are a majority or not is another matter), there are exceptions with yours.  And perhaps in both the exceptions outnumber the generalizations.

But dont let me interrupt the banter!  Thanks for a smile after a hard day at the office!

Reply #7 Top

And of course, there are those men who want the ideal woman, she is a mixture of the bombshell (not necessarily blonde), and the stay at home type, and she will have an opinion, seek out new things, but she will no matter what, let him be the ruler of their world because he is king of his castle after all! This is obviously not a nice way to think of any woman right?
End of quote

From my pov, this is ideal.  A woman who takes care of herself, her man, family, home, and is "intellectually curious." 

It may not be politically correct, but my husband is the King of this castle.  And while we discuss everything, I almost always bend to his will if I can't change his mind. 

Now I can only think of less than five times in our entire marriage we disagreed totally on something and I "bent."  It didn't kill me.  Made our marriage stronger, and most of all honored my husband as the head of household. 

All hail the King!  :beer:

 

 

Reply #8 Top

An interesting opposing view to Draginols, Serenity.  After some thought, my comment on his article suggested that the complacency he things he sees could actually be veiwed by others as contentment.  Not everyone is an adventurer in life and I'm sure many are completely satisified with who they are and what they have.

Reply #9 Top

My sister-in-law holds to the theory that all men are utterly stupid, and all women are completely insane. As a general rule, it explains a lot, but it doesn't cover everything. There are, after all, a lot of stupid women out there, and a lot of crazy men.

It seems to me that most folks (myself included, I'll freely admit) fall neatly into both categories, regardless of gender.

Reply #10 Top

If women know how men are (at least according to your article), why complain?
End of quote

No complaint, just stating the facts! :grin: :digichet:

 

Men tend to just want to be. They are who they believe they are and nothing else matters. If we 40, we are 40. If we strong, we are strong. If we are weak, we try to be strong somewhere else. basically, as you put it, men will be men.
Women, on the other hand, don't want to just be. If blonde, some want to be redhead or brunnette. If they 40, they are 30. They look for a man they think they like and then they want to change them. They are only strong when it suits them.
End of quote

Charles, we agree on both those points!  My husband, loveable man, the heart of my existence and the pain in the butt some of the times, and I tell him all the time, is one of those men who want to just be!  He is very opinionated and does fall into the complacent zone with some things.  I do as well, so I guess we're even.  I am more adventureous than he is though!  At least, in some instances! }:)

 

Confess, you skimmed didn't you?
I confess. I skimmed
End of quote

:grin:  I knew it!  Thx for fessing up!

 

My point is that women ARE NOT COMPLACENT...no matter what they do!
..And no man is a bad father, no man is a poor husband, etc. Everyone is equally good...
End of quote

Now we both now those are loaded responses! :X

 

I was going to comment, but I am enjoying your back and forth with Frogboy!
End of quote

Truthfully, I wasn't going to write this, but had some more thoughts on it and decided to give my own views!  I thought he was going to bite my head off!lol!  Proved me wrong!

 

Just as exceptions can be found for Brad's (whether they are a majority or not is another matter), there are exceptions with yours. And perhaps in both the exceptions outnumber the generalizations.
End of quote

True on both counts!  I actually admire is frankness and this has made for an interesting point, counter point! :D

 

politically correct
End of quote

Doesn't belong in a marriage!  Of course this could be another topic of discussion! 

 

And while we discuss everything, I almost always bend to his will if I can't change his mind.
End of quote

And there's nothing wrong with that!  I made that point because it is so for some relationship, and no, it doesn't mean complacency, just a way to keep the peace! I can attest to that! :inlove:

 

After some thought, my comment on his article suggested that the complacency he things he sees could actually be veiwed by others as contentment. Not everyone is an adventurer in life and I'm sure many are completely satisified with who they are and what they have.
End of quote

True and this is also in a good way, because after all, if people are comfortable with how they are, then who are we to question them.  For people like us, Brad, et al, we want more, (Brad even more!LOL!)

 

There are, after all, a lot of stupid women out there, and a lot of crazy men.
End of quote

Hahaha..I like that!

Reply #11 Top

You have some of it wrong. I want  (as do many men) a woman that's going to work (so intelligence is a big plus) everything else is secondary. Men usually have their best sex before they are married, so that's a poor reason to slap a ring on her finger. I think a lot of women just want that safety net, and their are not too pleased about finding a new one once they find one they are comfortable with. Sure all men see is body and sex, if your looking at an age 18 to 30 demographic. I'll argue things change somewhat in a mans thinking as he matures. Men that have mid-life crises do so because they want to recapture the time in their life when they should have had fun, armed with their current knowledge of women. Not true with women, as they mature they often become more desperate. Perhaps they see that safety net drifting away, or their biological clock is ticking, whatever. It's difficult to put anyone into a category as there are exceptions, to both men and women.

Tip for the younger guys (remember there are always exceptions, but it's not likely):

The beauty queen might be good to look at, but usually the sex is terrible (she will be afraid to mess up her hair). The only way to improve the situation is have two beauty queens. Their vanity is what will make them preform better. Also be advised they may try this on you as well with an other guy to get you to do want they want. Solution: go for the average gal, she will be more eager to please and less likely to move on (this could be good or bad).

Check out the mother. If she is a whining, conniving cow, chances are your girl will follow in her footsteps.

For gawds sake don't marry the first girl that gives you some. Too often we are too immature to realize the difference between love and lust. I know there are some "high school" sweetheart stories out there. Unless the population where you live is below 100 people, I wouldn't advise it.

Have some fun while you are young or you'll regret it later. You don't want to ruin things at a time in your life when everything should be coming together (job, home, kids). The time to screw up is when you're young. When you're old you might end up with half of all you worked for because of some indiscretion.

When you find someone you like, take it slow and live with her a couple of years to make sure it's a good fit (for both). You can love her all you want but it won't matter if she doesn't feel the same. This can be a dangerous time too. She might want a commitment. If your not ready don't be pressured. Their is precious little advantage to getting married now vis a messy divorce a few years later.

Reply #12 Top

You have some of it wrong. I want (as do many men) a woman that's going to work (so intelligence is a big plus) everything else is secondary. Men usually have their best sex before they are married, so that's a poor reason to slap a ring on her finger.
End of quote

I stand corrected! :blush:   

Oh yes, intelligence is always good!  But that's saying that us wives are not satisfying our husbands? I don't believe that! :hrmph: :omg:

The beauty queen might be good to look at, but usually the sex is terrible (she will be afraid to mess up her hair).
End of quote

Not unless he's really good then she won't care!  But haven't you heard that it is most women's fantasy to be taken by a very strong man?!  I heard that from a survey!

 

Check out the mother. If she is a whining, conniving cow, chances are your girl will follow in her footsteps.
End of quote

Sometimes, but not a good way of predicting.  She may strive not to be that way just because.

Their is precious little advantage to getting married now vis a messy divorce a few years later.
End of quote

True, but not all of the time.  Two people who are willing to work at a relationshiop makes it work.

Reply #13 Top

If a woman is complacent because of the man in her life it means she is governed by which ever male she picked. 

Reply #14 Top

If a woman is complacent because of the man in her life it means she is governed by which ever male she picked
End of quote

Not just governed.   She just accepts the now. I can understand that.  Everyone's circumstances are different. 

some people are able to wake up and get into better situations if they need to, Others are trapped, I guess that would lead to complacency!  Dang it Brad wins! :erk:   My entire argument leads right back to complacency! :grin:   I am standing by my arguments though!