Lost family
Where'd everybody go?
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JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
When I was growing up, I remember seeing my family members all of the time. My aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. I fondly look back at Family Reunions and regular vacation visits....from both sides of the family.
So, what happened?
My mom's side of the family is huge! She was adopted, very young, by an older couple. They have both passed on. Geez, I think I was 12......wow, it has been a long time....I don't remember a lot about them...but I get great stories from my mom all of the time.
But, there are Great Aunts and Uncles. My mom has an adopted brother too. He's my favorite. Always treated me like a daughter. His daughter Kim (kimmy) and I grew up like sisters. *sigh* even time and distance has put a gap there.
And a lot of cousins. I mean a lot! We would have family reunions every year. About 9 years ago, someone made the suggestion we start doing it every other year.....and that sealed our fate. No more were ever scheduled. I was young (19) when this started happening...never really thought about it till now.
My dad's side...well, now there's a story. We all have that "certain" part of the family. You know what I mean.
I was adopted by me dad, he wanted me to share his last name, when he married my mom. He's my dad. My only dad. He had 2 kids when they married. My brother and sister. We were not the Brady Bunch. We clashed for a long time. And now my brother has disowned us, for his wife, literally, My parents, nor I have spoken to him in 4 years. Some ignorant arugment, his sneaky wife used, to wedge the Grand Canyon between us. Anyway, my sister rarely calls, too. I am not close with either of them.
Anyway, his family is semi-large. He has 1 brother and 5 sisters. 1 of 7! They too, have spawned a lot of cousins.
Now, my dad's side ALL live in Iowa. I remember going up there every summer, while growing up and staying with my grandparents. But, when I got older, and a little more rebelious, they didn't seem to include me in the family as much. Never had a grandparent like relationship with them, either. After I reached 15 years old, I felt adopted. Bummer? yeah, it hurts..only sometimes, their loss. Right?
Back to my original thoughts...
After 9/11, I have a bigger longing, for a steady family structure. My family has shrunk to a very small amount. Immediate family. Mom, Dad, my boys, and my hubby. That's it. Wher'd everybody go!!?
That first week after 9/11 everybody called everybody. We all knew that none of our family would have been hurt, but of course, we all had to connect. The entire country had to connect. (my brother never called though) That was the last time I remember talking to any of the extended family.
I still have this lingering need for that connectedness....(lol, is that a real word?)
I have my suspisions as to why. I always have to analyze it.
My hubby and I have gone through a lot this past 2 years. The military life has really tested our relationship. I never expected that. Blind sided me to say the least. But, know that hubby (Ian) is being sent to Bahrain, I am going to be alone. Literally. I have my parents by phone, but I desire face to face conversations. I LOVE to talk! So, maybe, if I could just know that the family stills exists, maybe I wouldn't feel so alone. I never did as a kid.
I'm really thinking of trying my hand at getting the ball rolling. I have no idea of how to begin. At the last family reunion, there was talk of who was gonna take over the planning. (every year, the torch was passed to organize the event) The older crowd, of course, dealt with it. When my great uncle passed, 2 years later, my cousins and I were talking about doing it ourselves. It was like, we knew it was going to fade away and become non-existant. We never made our moves.
So, now is the time. the kids are grown up and with kids of our own. It's time we come out of our protected small family units and become the large, loud and obnoxious family we are!
None of my family has met my hubby. I am thinking that maybe I could put something together.....for after his return from Bahrain....I hope I am not going out of my league here!!
maybe I am truly crazy.
So, what happened?
My mom's side of the family is huge! She was adopted, very young, by an older couple. They have both passed on. Geez, I think I was 12......wow, it has been a long time....I don't remember a lot about them...but I get great stories from my mom all of the time.
But, there are Great Aunts and Uncles. My mom has an adopted brother too. He's my favorite. Always treated me like a daughter. His daughter Kim (kimmy) and I grew up like sisters. *sigh* even time and distance has put a gap there.
And a lot of cousins. I mean a lot! We would have family reunions every year. About 9 years ago, someone made the suggestion we start doing it every other year.....and that sealed our fate. No more were ever scheduled. I was young (19) when this started happening...never really thought about it till now.
My dad's side...well, now there's a story. We all have that "certain" part of the family. You know what I mean.
I was adopted by me dad, he wanted me to share his last name, when he married my mom. He's my dad. My only dad. He had 2 kids when they married. My brother and sister. We were not the Brady Bunch. We clashed for a long time. And now my brother has disowned us, for his wife, literally, My parents, nor I have spoken to him in 4 years. Some ignorant arugment, his sneaky wife used, to wedge the Grand Canyon between us. Anyway, my sister rarely calls, too. I am not close with either of them.
Anyway, his family is semi-large. He has 1 brother and 5 sisters. 1 of 7! They too, have spawned a lot of cousins.
Now, my dad's side ALL live in Iowa. I remember going up there every summer, while growing up and staying with my grandparents. But, when I got older, and a little more rebelious, they didn't seem to include me in the family as much. Never had a grandparent like relationship with them, either. After I reached 15 years old, I felt adopted. Bummer? yeah, it hurts..only sometimes, their loss. Right?
Back to my original thoughts...
After 9/11, I have a bigger longing, for a steady family structure. My family has shrunk to a very small amount. Immediate family. Mom, Dad, my boys, and my hubby. That's it. Wher'd everybody go!!?
That first week after 9/11 everybody called everybody. We all knew that none of our family would have been hurt, but of course, we all had to connect. The entire country had to connect. (my brother never called though) That was the last time I remember talking to any of the extended family.
I still have this lingering need for that connectedness....(lol, is that a real word?)
I have my suspisions as to why. I always have to analyze it.
My hubby and I have gone through a lot this past 2 years. The military life has really tested our relationship. I never expected that. Blind sided me to say the least. But, know that hubby (Ian) is being sent to Bahrain, I am going to be alone. Literally. I have my parents by phone, but I desire face to face conversations. I LOVE to talk! So, maybe, if I could just know that the family stills exists, maybe I wouldn't feel so alone. I never did as a kid.
I'm really thinking of trying my hand at getting the ball rolling. I have no idea of how to begin. At the last family reunion, there was talk of who was gonna take over the planning. (every year, the torch was passed to organize the event) The older crowd, of course, dealt with it. When my great uncle passed, 2 years later, my cousins and I were talking about doing it ourselves. It was like, we knew it was going to fade away and become non-existant. We never made our moves.
So, now is the time. the kids are grown up and with kids of our own. It's time we come out of our protected small family units and become the large, loud and obnoxious family we are!
None of my family has met my hubby. I am thinking that maybe I could put something together.....for after his return from Bahrain....I hope I am not going out of my league here!!
maybe I am truly crazy.
