Guys some helpful hints on the online photo

from JoeUser Forums

Alright guys.  I am in a helpful mood tonight and thought I would give you some of my valuable advice on your online photos. 

um..try not to look mean and scary.  If you look like you are growling at the camera, I don't want to talk to you.  I'm afraid of you.  I mean really is that the look you are going for...what you think you look tough.  Tough men are lonely men.  They get to sit at home alone typing on their computers late at night (umm...like me - oh forget that last part). 

No topless photos - shirtless, whatever ~ you know what I mean.  I don't care how buff you are.  I don't care how cool your tatt is.  If you have a photo with no shirt, it's a no go.  Okay unless you are my fave flickr crush in which case, please more photos with your shirt off!  Okay, I guess you can forget that one too. 

A smile is good.

Hey what's with the group photos?  I don't know which one is you.  Duh...

Please, no peace signs, gang signs and definately don't flip the camera off.  If you don't know what to do with your hands when someone takes your picture sit on them.  Really, I'm serious. 

Lose the baseball cap and sunglasses.  I can't even tell what you look like. 

If anyone might possibly think that it's a mugshot...reconsider before posting. 

Dude, seriously?!  You look like Dr. Phil.  If anyone ever tells you you look like Dr. Phil you might want to consider a makeover ...and I'm going to change my previous statement and say do go for the sunglasses and baseball cap. 

Omigosh are you holding a puppy?!?  That is so sweet!  I'm being serious.  Not sarcastic at all.  If you have a puppy, use it.  If you don't borrow someone's. 

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4,518 views 15 replies
Reply #1 from Stardock Forums Top

Ma'am,

      I hate to break this to you but the reason that guys do this online is because it doesn't really matter what they look like. These sites are capitalizing on desperation from both parties.

 

So the girls take high angle "Myspace position" shots to make themselves look skinnier and the men do whatever they want because they know that any women looking through these sites for long enough will simply end up lowering their standards anyway.

 

Reply #2 from Stardock Forums Top

I hate to break this to you but the reason that guys do this online is because it doesn't really matter what they look like. These sites are capitalizing on desperation from both parties.
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Well I'm not going to talk to the guy who looks like a psychotic stalker.  I'll take my chances chatting up the guy at the grocery store instead. 

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Reply #3 from Stardock Forums Top

. I'll take my chances chatting up the guy at the grocery store instead.
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That is a much better idea although the chances of stalkerdom probably rmeain the same:) At least in person you have senses delevoped over millions of years to help you. Online you got bubkis.

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well I'm not going to talk to the guy who looks like a psychotic stalker.
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Well considering most women tend to generalize all men under a single idea such as "dogs", you may find yourself not finding anyone to talk to then. LOL.

I don't like taking pictures of myself much. When I do I try to look decent, I want to be seen as a decent guy not a hellraiser or Bonkers the clown.
Reply #5 from Stardock Forums Top

lol...I laughed at some of these because they are so true.  Shirtless guys holding up a beer and doing some sort of hand sign are the most annoying to me. :P

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
um..try not to look mean and scary. If you look like you are growling at the camera, I don't want to talk to you. I'm afraid of you. I mean really is that the look you are going for...what you think you look tough. Tough men are lonely men. They get to sit at home alone typing on their computers late at night (umm...like me - oh forget that last part).
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Well movies prove otherwise, all tough good guys in movies get the girl at the end.

No topless photos - shirtless, whatever ~ you know what I mean. I don't care how buff you are. I don't care how cool your tatt is. If you have a photo with no shirt, it's a no go. Okay unless you are my fave flickr crush in which case, please more photos with your shirt off! Okay, I guess you can forget that one too.
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OK, so what you are saying is if you are ugly don't take off the shirt?

Hey what's with the group photos? I don't know which one is you. Duh...
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Maybe it's a 2 for 1 sale. Buy 1 get the rest free. Didnt your mama ever teach you to share. :)

Please, no peace signs, gang signs and definately don't flip the camera off. If you don't know what to do with your hands when someone takes your picture sit on them. Really, I'm serious.
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You know, I have met many women who claim men don't know how to use their hands. We can't win for losing.

Lose the baseball cap and sunglasses. I can't even tell what you look like.
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Yea, I bet you wont say that to Derek Jeter. LOL

If anyone might possibly think that it's a mugshot...reconsider before posting.
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All my drivers license photos look like mugshots, but then they are taken by offices related to the police. You know, one gives you the right to drive, the other pulls you over for abusing that right.

Dude, seriously?! You look like Dr. Phil. If anyone ever tells you you look like Dr. Phil you might want to consider a makeover ...and I'm going to change my previous statement and say do go for the sunglasses and baseball cap.
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I bet there are plenty of women who find Dr Phil sexy. Not that his money does not help.

Omigosh are you holding a puppy?!? That is so sweet! I'm being serious. Not sarcastic at all. If you have a puppy, use it. If you don't borrow someone's.
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Puppies and guys don't go together, what do you want, a man or a sissy? Hell pitbulls are famous because even as puppies they look like adult dogs.

I think you are asking for too much. I am not a firm believer in looking for our other half from photos and short profiles. But, to each his own.
Reply #7 from Stardock Forums Top

You sound like a superficial twat overly concerned with looks. Ted Bundy was a handsome man, remember that.
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  Don't be a bitch.  It has nothing to do with looks.  Believe me there is a lot I could have said about that if I so chose.  

All my drivers license photos look like mugshots, but then they are taken by offices related to the police. You know, one gives you the right to drive, the other pulls you over for abusing that right.
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  Yeah, but are you using that photo to represent yourself online or would you maybe pick a better one?  One guy actually told me he was going for the mugshot photo look.  I told him he should go all the way and get an orange and white striped top and then he changed the photo and thanked me for "keeping it real" - lol. 

OK, so what you are saying is if you are ugly don't take off the shirt?
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  No.  I really don't go for the shirtless photos but then I thought about Edward on Flickr and thought mabye I was being a little too rash.  Plus flickr is a lot of photos not just one. 

Well movies prove otherwise, all tough good guys in movies get the girl at the end.
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  Yes movies are reality.  (rolls eyes)  In the movies Vandamme never beat his wife.

lol...I laughed at some of these because they are so true. Shirtless guys holding up a beer and doing some sort of hand sign are the most annoying to me.
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  Good one, I completely forgot about the whole.   College kegger vibe pictures.  Woo - look at me, I like to party - lo.. 

 

 

Reply #8 from Stardock Forums Top

So the girls take high angle "Myspace position" shots to make themselves look skinnier
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http://verylol.com/tag/funny-myspace/

 

Here's my tip for the girls, flush first - lol. 

 

Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Don't be a bitch. It has nothing to do with looks. Believe me there is a lot I could have said about that if I so chose.
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Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yeah, but are you using that photo to represent yourself online or would you maybe pick a better one? One guy actually told me he was going for the mugshot photo look. I told him he should go all the way and get an orange and white striped top and then he changed the photo and thanked me for "keeping it real" - lol.
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I depends on whether one thinks it looks good, just like the guy you described.

No. I really don't go for the shirtless photos but then I thought about Edward on Flickr and thought mabye I was being a little too rash. Plus flickr is a lot of photos not just one.
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Talk about contradiction.

Yes movies are reality. (rolls eyes) In the movies Vandamme never beat his wife.
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Hmm, remind me to send you a sense of humor for Christmas.

Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
Talk about contradiction.
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That's me a mystery wrapped in an enigma.

Hmm, remind me to send you a sense of humor for Christmas.
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I was being sarcastic.  :SURPRISED: Yes, in the movies the tough guy is really a big ol' teddy bear.
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
LOL. I think women are usually much worse photo offenders, but most guys can't pull off sexy and shouldn't try. That would be my advice. Don't try to look sexy. You can't do it. Haha.
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
LOL. I think women are usually much worse photo offenders, but most guys can't pull off sexy and shouldn't try. That would be my advice. Don't try to look sexy. You can't do it. Haha.
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Not to self, remember to give TW karma for such a truthful smack in the face post.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
I try to look like a serial killer, so I can get all the cute suicidal chicks.
...
Or do they become suicidal after they meet me?
...
Well, anyway, I don't have a myspace and I don't post pictures online. But if I did, I'd have a shirt on. And I wouldn't be trying to look sexy. And I wouldn't be holding a beer.

In fact, my non-existant myspace photo would perfectly match your criteria for a photo. Except for the whole, it's me in the picture thing. :D And instead of a puppy, a 2 year old, or a 1 year old. Same thing, except human!

Babies make the ladies go craaaazy.
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
Babies make the ladies go craaaazy.
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Actually they do - lol.