foreverserenity foreverserenity

When Gays get Married, Who does it Really Bother?

When Gays get Married, Who does it Really Bother?

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1807109,00.html?imw=Y

For some people, marriage between two people of the same sex insults their sensibilities. (and that is putting it mildly!)  It is religiously wrong, because they have some document that proves that it is wrong.  It trumps their sense of right and wrong.    All the implications that can be thought of for why this should not be, they will find it!

 

There are so many boxes that have been created in our lives.  Everything we do and all that we represent fits in those boxes.  You can't be a cirle and fit in a square box, that doesn't work.  You're going against the grain, against all that is natural, known and dare I say holy?  In essense  homosexuals do not fit the roles or the boxes that we have created in this life!  Not in our lifetime, not in our backyards!

 

Am I being immoral because I have no objections to people of the same sex marrying each other?  Some people do think that, I have no doubt about that.   Same sex marriage is not an abomination of marriage in general, or against God as some like to quote.  Same sex marriage does not make my own heterosexual marriage unimportant or less than what it is.  What matters fundamentally is the right of each individual to choose the path that is their God-given right to do.

 

Although the legal papers now says that these people have the right to marry whomever they choose, they still do not have the legal rights, all the rights that a man and a woman in a marriage do.  They won't be able to file taxes together, they won't be able to get all the benefits that a man and a woman in a marriage can from the government, if they need it, because although the law says they are allowed to marry, they are still not equal or legal in every aspects of their lives.

 

The article I have linked above, written by John Cloud, defines and clarify some of the things  the California rulings does or does not do  with the confusion to many about Gay marriage.

 

Marriage between homosexuals doesn't take away our rights as heterosexual individuals just because two men or two women seek to marry each other, but those who object gladly seek to take away what is a fundamental right of each person, their freedom!

 

 

 

495,514 views 225 replies
Reply #201 Top

This is fuzzy thinking. Right is right and wrong is wrong. When did it change and on what grounds do you accept that what is right for one may not be right for someone else?

Now, come on, it is not fuzzy at all.  Your version of right (for instance - believing homosexuality to be a sin according to your beliefs) is not the same 'right' as I believe (that homosexuality is another condition of the human makeup).  Its a pretty simple concept, really.

WHY IS THAT AXIOM "VALID" ONLY WHEN IT IS A QUESTION OF MORALS?

The axiom is valid because you're referring to your idea of what is moralistic behaviour as opposed to another's point of view, which is completely different to yours. 

Reply #202 Top
Your version of right (for instance - believing homosexuality to be a sin according to your beliefs) is not the same 'right' as I believe (that homosexuality is another condition of the human makeup). Its a pretty simple concept, really.


Either homosexuality is a sin or it isn't....I'm either 100% right or 100% wrong on this...that's what I meant when I said right is right and wrong is wrong.

I say Homosexuality is a sin; you say it is not. We both can't be right. One of us has the truth and one of us doesn't. Truth is in possession; one can't speak the truth if one doesn't have it. Truth is also consistent. If I have the truth on this, if I am right, then you haven't got the truth and you are wrong.

Homosexuality has always been a sexual behavior, not a condition. To say homosexuality is a condition is buying into the term invented by talented sophists of the homosexual "rights" movement.







Reply #203 Top

It doesn't bother me, and it shouldn't bother anyone...

"Where Is The Love?"

What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love

It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'
in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love, the love, the love?

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
Now ask yourself

Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?

Sing wit me y'all:
One world, one world (We only got)
One world, one world (That's all we got)
One world, one world
And something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit the wo-wo-world, yeah
We only got
(One world, one world)
That's all we got
(One world, one world)

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJpyskHMwRs

Reply #204 Top

Please leave your bigotry at the door.

Peace Out Everyone!

Reply #205 Top
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above


He did.

He was rejected, and killed just like the prophets sent before him.

He is still being rejected today. Nothing's changed.
Reply #206 Top
Come on Gid.. what your saying is scientific law and fact, what most people believe in has not ever been proven as a scientific fact and therefore "beliefs" are based on what each individual holds true by their own internal experiences.


I believe there are SPIRITUAL laws as well.

Now, you may reject that, PB, but come on...IF I am right and there ARE spiritual laws do you REALLY think God's going to let you off the hook just because you didn't WANT them to be there?

I believe God's spiritual truths are as real as any physical truths we know. Only the consequences of ignoring them are more dire.
Reply #207 Top
I believe there are SPIRITUAL laws as well.


Me too. Gid #208 is very insightful.

It's known as the Natural Law..which is simply the eternal law of GOd as it is known to all men.

It's natural because it's part of the very constitution of things as created by God specifically with respect to mankind becasue its part and parcel of his nature. It can't be separated from his identity as a human being and that's why St.Paul says it is written on our heart, that is, becasue it is intrinsic to him, it springs up out of the innermost recesses of his being as a rational creature.


I believe God's spiritual truths are as real as any physical truths we know. Only the consequences of ignoring them are more dire.


Yes, for sure.

Just as man has knowledge of the eternal law expressed in the physical laws of nature, as governing his material being, he also has knowledge of the eternal law of God as it governs him as a spiritual being, as a rational being with an eternal destiny.

Reply #208 Top
Again, this is a great point. The biggest problem I have with this whole issue is that some parts of the community feel there needs to be legislation to start with. Wouldn't it have been better to simply say live and let live?


Good stuff.

Reply #209 Top
I say Homosexuality is a sin


Again, you say it is a sin according to your religious beliefs. I am not basing my statement on any code of beliefs but on the fact I believe EVERYONE has a right to live as they see fit (and I'm not talking in some amoral, hedonistic way either).

To say homosexuality is a condition is buying into the term invented by talented sophists of the homosexual "rights" movement.


Oh, really? I could as easily say you're 'buying into' the writings in a book written many centuries before there was any real understanding of the human conditions, in its myriad forms.
Reply #210 Top
Again, you say it is a sin according to your religious beliefs. I am not basing my statement on any code of beliefs but on the fact I believe EVERYONE has a right to live as they see fit (and I'm not talking in some amoral, hedonistic way either).


And that takes me back to saying there is only one truth and only one of us has the truth. You've correctly identified that mine is based upon absolute truth...that is upon God's law, now...

Regarding homosexuality as behavior vs condition, OF COURSE you are basing your stated belief on something...think about it...it's based upon man's truth which is as arbitrary. Yet, truth is consistent not arbitrary.





Reply #211 Top
And that takes me back to saying there is only one truth and only one of us has the truth. You've correctly identified that mine is based upon absolute truth...that is upon God's law, now...


:LOL: Okay, this is now going in big circles and just making me laugh... Your beliefs are based on a subjective rendering of something YOU identify with as God's word (whatever that means).

Man's truth is about as arbitrary as you making statements calling your religion absolute truth. It just doesn't wash with me and nothing you can say will have me believing it. Lets just let this one lie as is, okay?
+1 Loading…
Reply #212 Top
Lets just let this one lie as is, okay?


OK, deal, but since you brought up that my beliefs are based on a subjective rendering of Scripture, please bear an explanation of my position.

Okay, this is now going in big circles and just making me laugh..


:LOL: I've been wondering if you would pull up the "circular argument"! It's seems inevitable whenever God's infallible truth is used with issues of morality.

Mine is not circular but a spiral argument of which the ends do not meet. Taking the Scriptures as historical documents only, the Catholic Chuuch proves the historical fact that Christ endowed her with infallibility in matters of faith and morals. Then using that infallibility the Church assures that they are inspired. Thus, we begin with merely historical books and finish with inspired ones, but we don't use inspiration as the basis of our first premise.

So, too, could I prove the rightful Divine Ruler from history only, and after that view Him under the aspect of His Divine authority, obeying His legitimate commands, (which in this discussion He, through His written word, Sacred Scripture, says that homosexuality is a sin, and through Sacred Tradition of His Church teaches the same truth). Truth is consistent.

you making statements calling your religion absolute truth.


Yes. I'm glad you noticed that the infallible authority of the Catholic Church is grounds for my belief that homosexuality is a sin. When reading and interpretating Scripture for my understanding of the morality of homosexuality, I uphold the infallible and consistent teaching of the CC.

(while your idea of homosexuality is based only on your (or others) human opinion with a value proportionate only to your (or their) limited and fallible knowledge.)


Reply #213 Top
Lula,

hate to break this to you but the CC is NOT infallible. Com'on. How can you believe that? Take a good look at the CC thru the centuries including one Pope murdering another and on and on it goes and tell us that the CC is infallible?



Reply #214 Top
Lula,

hate to break this to you but the CC is NOT infallible. Com'on.




KFC,

Let's back up.

I know you agree that homosexuality is a sin and you'll say that you know that becasue it says so in the Holy Bible and that every book, every word in the Bible is true becasue it's God's inspired Word.

How do you know with certainity that every book and every word in those Books of the Holy Bible is the inspired, inerrant word of God?

You know this becasue of the infallibility of the Catholic Church who alone declared which Books were inspired to make up the Old and New Testament Canons and the CC also declared them to be the inerrant Word of God. Without the CC, you can't prove the Bible to be the inerrant Word of God.

So, c'mon yourself and disprove her infallible teaching authority in deciding which Books are inspired and which ones are not and you'll make some headway in you assertion that the CC is not infallible.

But until you have done so, I'd say your only going by what your Protestant Forefathers said when they revolted against the authority of the CC in the 1500s.



Reply #215 Top
I believe God's spiritual truths are as real as any physical truths we know. Only the consequences of ignoring them are more dire.


Really? What about the price of sacrifice? If a still-beating heart isn't cut with a sickle from the chest of the king at midnight in midwinter, there will be no spring. All life on earth will die, consumed by the frost, leaving a barren wasteland ruled only by the frost giants.

As with your 'God shall smite thee' example, we can't take the risk that it's not true. Would you like to see your family crushed beneath relentless glacier or consumed by hungry frost giants?

Because really that's what it boils down to. If you think the threat of possible godly retribution is enough to justify denying someone the possibility of happiness or misery, then you may as well start sacrificing people to the thunder gods just in case it will make the rains beneficial.

Superstition shouldn't be encouraged by government intervention.
Reply #216 Top
hate to break this to you but the CC is NOT infallible. Com'on. How can you believe that?


On the infallible words of Christ is how I believe that.

Christ came on earth to teach a true doctrine which would last for all time. "For this I was born and for this, I came into the world that I should give testimony to the truth." Being All wise, All foreseeing, and All powerful, He took the means to prevent His Church to which He committed the taks of continuing His teachings to all men of all ages until the end of the world from ever falling into error and therefore corrupting His doctrines. This would be utterly impossible unless the Church could speak infallibly in matters of faith and morals in every generation.


What does Scripture tell us?
Christ did found a Church as a teaching body and enabled it to carry on His infallible teachings until the end of the world. In order to accomplish and be successful to His command to teach all nations, He safeguarded her from error by endowing her with infallibility. He promised to be with her always and the gates of Hell would not prevail against her. These words of Christ would be utter nonsense to the point that He'd be a liar and the gates of Hell would have prevailed if it could happen that the Church could be wrong in that teaching which she gives so authoratitaviely, ex cathedra.

Scripture tells us "the Church is the pillar and ground of truth". Unless the Church were infallible this wouldn't be true. How could our Lord require us to believe under penalty of damnation St.Mark 16:18, and to consider the Christian disobedient to the Church "a heathen and a publican" St.Matt. 18:17 if she wasn't His infallible teaching authority?

Would a All-Good God who wills "all men to be saved" and "to come to the knowledge of truth" fail to provide His revelation with an infallible witness? Of course not. Would a All-just God command us to believe St.Mark 16:16, and at the same time leave us at the mercy of every false prophet and lying teacher preaching a Gospel opposed to His? Of course not.

The Church Christ founded is spoken of in the NT as a divine, infallible teaching authority. Throughout the Gospels the mission of the Apostles and their successors is declared identical with the mission of Christ. The CC alone represents Christ, the Divine infallible Teacher in morals, belief and worship.

"As the Father sends Me (to give infallible witness to the truth), I send you." "He that receiveth whomever I send, receiveth Me." "He who heareth you heareth Me and He that despiseth you, despitheth Me...."

Take a good look at the CC thru the centuries including one Pope murdering another and on and on it goes and tell us that the CC is infallible?


Don't make the mistake of confusing sinful members of the Church, including Popes. Papal infallibility doesn't mean that the pope can't make a mistake or commit a sin, or that he can teach without error on any thing that strikes his fancy or that he is inspired by God or able to make new revelation. It doesn't mean any of those.

It means that under certain, specific conditions the Pope when he defines ex cathedra, a teaching or doctrine in faith or morals, it must be believed by all the Church. The Scripture proof is St. Luke 22: 31-32. Christ here prays for St.Peter alone in his capacity as head of the Church. His prayer is certainly efficacious. Therefore, St.Peter and his successors, now the 265th one in Pope Benedict and on until the end of time, will be preserved from error when defining matters of faith and morals.





Reply #217 Top

I believe there are SPIRITUAL laws as well.

I too believe there are spiritual laws, although I dont believe that there is a God sitting in some mythical heaven waiting to judge me nor telling me that I should be this or that. I have great belief in my own personal spiritual experiences that God is EVERYTHING and EVERYWHERE and this being the case then I am part of THAT, ALL THERE IS. My experiences and your experiences all make up the sum of the whole with which this experience we call existence, exists.

I am neither right or wrong and neither are you. We just exist. Now you can argue with me until your blue in the face and so could I with you. This is my own personal experience and is not less valid than yours.

I dont believe that homosexuality is only a sexual condition as stated above. As humans we should be able to love each other, whether man or woman equally without thinking that there is some sort of heavy punishment. The great sin I belive is to not love and to not experience, but rather sit back and make judgements on others for expressing their emotions.

I think it is sad that humans have put sex and sin in the same basket. Although I believe that this is religions way of controlling the masses. Just like saying that they need priests to intercess between God and themselves. Just like the catholic church saying now they will excommunicate women who are ordained as priests. It all comes down to this one thing for me as once told by a great spiritual master.. "it is good to be born into a religion, but not to die in one."

 

Reply #218 Top
AD POSTS:
If I recall correctly in World History class the Greeks and Romans had an acceptable level of gays.


LULA POSTS:
True and where did the Greek and Roman civilizations end up...in the dustbin of history, right?


AD posts: #163
Are you suggesting that homosexuality caused Rome and Greece to fall????


Yes, I think it was a key factor...certainly not the sole cause. Toward the end of the ancient Roman Empire, the family, husband and wife, and children, was not seriously considered or esteemed. Husbands beat their wives with impunity, divorce them at will, could sell their children to slave traders. The upper class Romans had lots of boy sex slaves. If you investigate, you'd find there's no doubt that homosexuality set the tone for all classes. It seems that Nero first invented same-sex "marraige" in the first century. Evidently after his marriage to two women, he had one male "wife", Sporus,(a boy turned into a girl by castration) and two male "husbands", Doryphyrus and Pythagoras. Male/male "weddings" were a part of the Roman culture for 250 years after the death of Nero in 68 AD.

A venereal disease, something like AIDS, called the Antonine Plague of 161AD, killed a fourth of the Roman population and was one of the first signs of the decline of the Roman Empire mainly becasue it decimated the Roman Army.

The issue wasn't 'where' the civilizations end up.


Yes, I was making a subtle comparison to that of our present culture. Decline in morals and character bringing about societal decadence...public health issues arise...political corruption...the traditional family in crisis...

Sorry, I look at what happened to the ancient Roman Empire and just don't see a rosy future for us if homosexual "marriage" becomes the law of the land.


Reply #219 Top
I am neither right or wrong and neither are you. We just exist.


I think it is sad that humans have put sex and sin in the same basket.


How far would you extend your principle?

Is is right or wrong for an adult to have sex with a child? or would you draw the line here?

And if you make any restrictions, you cannot object on principle to the restrictions made by the Catholic Chruch. All you can ask is why the CC should draw the line different from the place from that chosen by yourself.

We just exist.


Yes, we do, and we exist for a reason...a life for a little while upon earth and an eternal life in Heaven or Hell. How we live this life decides where we'll be in the next.

Just like the catholic church saying now they will excommunicate women who are ordained as priests.


The CC has never allowed priestesses and never will for it can't because Christ didn't. According to the CC, the priesthood is an extension of the priesthood of Christ, and it and the Sacrament of Holy Orders have been conferred directly to the Apostles by Christ Himself. As such, the late Pope John Paul II, of happy memory, declared ex cathedra that the Church “has no authority” to change the Sacrament to include women, whom Christ did not ordain.

Reply #220 Top
While I don't believe for a moment the CC is infallible I DO agree with their stance (and applaud them) on woman priests. Their decision is based on the infallible scriptures which puts men at the head of their families and head of the churches as well. This doesn't make men better or more spiritual, it's just that God gave men and women diff roles.
Reply #221 Top

ex cathedra that the Church “has no authority” to change the Sacrament to include women, whom Christ did not ordain.

 

We women are such second class citizens, even Jesus Christ denies us uh?!  No wonder the Muslims and other religions treat women the way they do!  I guess when Jesus rose from the dead who did he give the wonderous news to go and shar?  Who was in charge of his body when he died?  Why would he have washed the feet of a harlot, or was it the other way around, he allowed her to wash his feet? [I'm not as versed, I don't memorize the bible]  If he considered women to be of such little worth?  I sometimes wonder how these men came up with placing women in such a role?  How convenient to use the bible and the 'words' of God to put women where they belong?  Yet throughout the bible, who takes prominent roles?  The women are there with the men, playing their part!

Reply #222 Top

How far would you extend your principle? Is is right or wrong for an adult to have sex with a child? or would you draw the line here?

Funny though because when I think of You I picture dressed just as your profile picture is, covered from head to toe and a thousand ;ayers underneath just so that men cannot see you naked because it is a sin and you might conjure up lustful thoughts.

if you would really like to know I was brought up a strict roman catholic and was even an alter boy as a kid. Funny though that the very priests you say Christ has chosen to ordain are the very ones who used to take me into the room beside the alter inside the church and rape me when I was 5.

Yes, we do, and we exist for a reason...a life for a little while upon earth and an eternal life in Heaven or Hell. How we live this life decides where we'll be in the next.

I have no belief in a heaven or a hell. Like the previous pope said,

In 1999 Pope John Paul II declared that Heaven was "neither an abstraction nor a physical place in the clouds, but that fullness of communion with God which is the goal of human life." Hell, by contrast, was "the ultimate consequence of sin itself ... Rather than a place, hell indicates the state of those who freely and definitively separate themselves from God, the source of all life and joy."

Wise words by the old pope, although I dont think many religionists truely understand what he was talking about here. For me it is a deeply private spiritual matter between me and the Consciousness I call God.

The CC has never allowed priestesses and never will for it can't because Christ didn't. According to the CC, the priesthood is an extension of the priesthood of Christ, and it and the Sacrament of Holy Orders have been conferred directly to the Apostles by Christ Himself. As such, the late Pope John Paul II, of happy memory, declared ex cathedra that the Church “has no authority” to change the Sacrament to include women, whom Christ did not ordain.

Well I think 2000 years ago things were a little different to how we live now. Perhaps women shouldnt vote? Or hold Office? or work? Maybe they should be barefooted and pregnant at home serving their master husbands at all times??

Their decision is based on the infallible scriptures which puts men at the head of their families and head of the churches as well. This doesn't make men better or more spiritual, it's just that God gave men and women diff roles.

What roles did God give women mate?

Is it not the year 2008?

You see these arguments just prove the point that the fundamentalist religions are institutions which exist to control the masses and stop them from doing the very thing that Christ asked them to do ... and that was to become like Christ (not jesus) but the very essence of Godhood itself.

Reply #223 Top
if you would really like to know I was brought up a strict roman catholic and was even an alter boy as a kid. Funny though that the very priests you say Christ has chosen to ordain are the very ones who used to take me into the room beside the alter inside the church and rape me when I was 5.


I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I also was RCC once upon a time. I researched the whole scandal and history going back to the 60's and even the 1940's on this issue and I couldn't help but feel the evil behind all this. Pure unadulterated evil.

Whole neighborhoods were affected in the Mass area not too far from where I lived. My
s-i-l said she stopped going to church when this all broke because she knew alot of the victims and saw their shattered lives. There were priests who hung themselves when this was brought out into the open.

The RCC will have alot to answer for and the lives that have been ruined will be upon their heads. Please don't hold the view of God thru the lens of the RCC.

What roles did God give women mate?
Is it not the year 2008?


God wanted men to be spiritual leaders of their homes. When he placed Adam and Eve in the garden it was clear. He said:

"I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception in sorrow you shall bring forth children; and your desire shall be to your husand and he shall rule over you." Gen 3:16

The reason for the fall in the garden was the fact that Eve usurped her role. When God said her desire would always be to her husband. He wasn't referring to sex. God was saying this is going to be a constant struggle for control. Woman is going to want to rule over man and it wasn't inteded to be that way. God gave the leadership position to Adam and mankind not womankind. I know it's not politically correct to say so but you'd have to take that up with God.

It was clear by Paul's letter to the Romans and Timothy thousands of years later that Adam was the one held responsible as the head of his family for what happened on that fateful day. Even tho it was Eve who, led by emotion, made a decision to go against God, Adam was held responsible for not being the head of his family. Quite often, women make decisions based on emotion and men tend to be more logical and that's just how he made us. It doesn't mean man is better he's just made different than woman.

As far as timing is concerned, God is not bound by time like we are. A day to him is like a 1,000 years to us.
Reply #224 Top

Please don't hold the view of God thru the lens of the RCC.

 

No quite the opposite mate... from this I have learnt that it isnt religion that brings you closer to God but through the awakening of your own spirituality you can find God yourself without the help of anyone else.

 

Reply #225 Top
No quite the opposite mate... from this I have learnt that it isnt religion that brings you closer to God but through the awakening of your own spirituality you can find God yourself without the help of anyone else.


good...... although I would add that others (individual believers) can help you find your way to God.


Sounds like you've got the basics in spite of what they tried to do to you.