Emporer PontiusBruinPilot,

After much talk and debate the MWC has decided to step out of merger talks. If the two largest trash talkers were to merge who would we have left to harass?? We do long to have the additional 23,000+ pts. that GROSS has added to our score, but we shall have to go about it the hard way. Winning our games and recruiting. Anyway it was a fun discussion and you didn't hear me say this but, Death to the Aliens and long live G.R.O.S.S. Now send us some recruits!!

What a bunch of semi-evil amateurs.

I'm so evil I'm gonna submit more games as evil than all you sorry bunch of losers put together. I peel the flesh of the Drengins and enslave the Torians again. Just because I can. The Yor are also useful as slaves as they will work till they fall apart from rust. Forget your oil bath, serfs! MOHAHAHAHA!


Actually, Have you tried our Kentucky Fried Drengin? It's to die for. We also have some delicious Torian Sushie if that's your thing.
I can tell you're a newbie. The Yor make horrible slaves, but excellent toasters if you reprogram them. And our Drengin Lava mine "workers" have made a sunscrean from Yor Paste. They seem to keep wanting to lick it off themselves, however.

I noted your record. You seem to have alot of goody goody games submitted. Are you a recent convert? Did you once believe that "Aliens are people too?" Perhaps if you're nice, I'll donate to your Save the cosmic sharks relief fund. Or perhaps you went around distributing Awake and Watchtower among our colonies as a fundamentalist recruiter?" BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Now run along son, lest I see our casualty reports from the Lava mines and need a new "Guest Worker"

Emporer PontiusBruinPilot,

After much talk and debate the MWC has decided to step out of merger talks. If the two largest trash talkers were to merge who would we have left to harass?? We do long to have the additional 23,000+ pts. that GROSS has added to our score, but we shall have to go about it the hard way. Winning our games and recruiting. Anyway it was a fun discussion and you didn't hear me say this but, Death to the Aliens and long live G.R.O.S.S. Now send us some recruits!!

So be it. You had your chance. Now you shall be Gross Roadkill. Maybe not now. Maybe not in a week. But eventually, mainly because my evil wife won't let me buy any more cool games for a long time, you too will come under heel. Our empire will endure long after others have crumbled to dust. Good luck. Crush some Aliens: Now if you get to Impune's LeCar before us, Give it a good Midwest Monster Truck crushin.

Oh and of course newbie evil convert, if you truly wanted to prove your evilness, you'd join up and show us what you have. Or are you scared of our initiation ceremony? Perhaps you are not G.R.O.S.S. fiber???


Coffee: My game goes well, but those dreaded Torians seem to dominate every galaxy I get. Though this is the first time the Drengin have done anything. Though we are Demonic and the Torians Saintly, they won't attack us as they are addicted to our newly created Torian Crack. They cannot get enough of it. Dependent on trade with us as they are, and knowing we'd destroy all knowledge of the crack if they did, they are now trying to out culture us. Cultural defenses are firming, however, and we should be getting fresh supplies soon for our Torian Sushi Huts near Drengin space in the nick of time.

Hey want a blast? Build water theme parks in starbases near Torian space, Secretly salt the water and watch em shrivel like the slugs they truly are. Now that's a blast.

Pontius: Chameleon tactics do better with the Torians. Move your Goodie-goodiemeter up to 70 or so, ally with them, then take away their colonies by cultural conquest; they have no defense against that.

The Drengins: I often actually help them in the early game: "Don´t hurt me, powerful Lord Chief Master Drengin, I will give you the tribute you want, please don´t kill me!"

The Drengins get powerful, yes, but they get to war with others, not me, and keep the Goodie-goodies in line. The Goodie-goodies become dependent on me for help, everybody hates the Drengins, no one pays attention what the weak, cowardly Humans are doing...

And in the end, the Drengins find themselves stuffed in the Natural History Museum, everybody else ends up Cultureconquered, and the oh-so-underestimated Humans are on top.

(Though with a score of 300 or so, never mind the five so-called Intelligent opponents, but even I am powerless against the Stardock Score Conspiracy. )

(But if someone has too much time on his hands: play on Gigantic, entrench yourself, get in no one´s way, research up to tech victory. Boring, but that´s where the big pts are, by the incomprehensible Wisdom of Stardock. )

Got evil?

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Nick: PontiusBruinPilot
Stardock.net ID: 647009

Player Name: PontiusBruinPilot
Player ID: 5741
Score: 3309
Metaverse Ranking: 219
Empire: G.R.O.S.S.

5/11/2003 (1.031000)
Morality: Chaotic Good
Galaxy Size: Gigantic 2955
Difficulty: Beginner
Win / Lost: Win: Cultural Conquest

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Guess not. G.R.O.S.S. Good Rules Our Senior MemberS ?

Don´t be silly, SpaceGypsy. First, this was a bet, second, it doesn´t matter, anyway, since, for Evil to win, it needs the help of lots of good people.

Seriously: Instead of nitpicking about exactly how we roast the Aliens, join G.R.O.S.S. Admit it: One-man-gangs are uncool and get nowhere, while G.R.O.S.S. is destined to rule.

No, I'm so evil that I'm not going to join your evil empire just to spite you. Ha! Hit 'em where it hurts.

Of course I play as "good" sometimes. Haven't you ever heard of a wolf in sheep clothes? Or a Tiger tank disguised as a newborn baby? But now I'm so powerful and so evil that I'm going to go for pure evil every single time. I like to inspire fear more than I like deception.

Enslaving the Yor is more fun than making toasters. Make them work cleaning fishing nets until the groan of rust. Nothing sounds sweeter to my ears than a Yor slave rusted shut. Screeeeeeetch! (To simulate: take a fork and draw it slowly over a black board or a window glass.)

P.s. take a look at my latest post in the strategy forum for some evil tactics.

Actually gypsy, I was Challenged by the poster right above your original post this thread in fact that I was merely a Myopic Xenophobic evil overlord who couldn't see other strategies and that would be my undoing. I believe I told you I was going to prove him wrong first. I just had to prove that poster WRONG. Chaotic Good (OK I just had to kill those worms. My people deserve the best planet they can get) otherwise it would have been pure. Cultural victory. And just like I said before, Now I shall go about proving you wrong. Tsk Tsk. Get ready for an evil sumbission soon Gypsy. I'm 3/4 through the game and my morality is 1. How it got above Zero is beyond me however. Then you shall honor your word and "Consider joining"
It is possible to Feign Goodness all the while getting those fleets in position to strike and converting the Altarians with Kentucky Fried Drengin Franchises.

In this game it's all evil all just strategies to take over the Galaxy. One is not more evil than another. We here at Gross just admit it. G.R.O.S.S. one of the last honest empires.

Enslaving the Yor is more fun than making toasters. Make them work cleaning fishing nets until the groan of rust. Nothing sounds sweeter to my ears than a Yor slave rusted shut. Screeeeeeetch! (To simulate: take a fork and draw it slowly over a black board or a window glass.)


Why? The Drengin work much harder and longer. And you don't have to make that dreaded lubricating paste for em. You just have to feed em some of that yummy Torian Sushi they love so much Efficiency is what counts, in the end.
______


No, I'm so evil that I'm not going to join your evil empire just to spite you. Ha! Hit 'em where it hurts.

(sniff sniff) Oh stop it you fiend!!! Oh boo hoo hooo you're such an evil bully you. Waaaaaah!!!

Yeah right. BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!! No skin off our nose. Join who you want. It makes no difference to us. You are either G.R.O.S.S. or G.R.O.S.S. roadkill. It's your choice.

Coffee: My tactics are working ok. I'm keeping the Torians at bay while I finsish off the small fry. I've successfully cornered them in about 1/3 of the Galaxy. They are isolated from everyone else. The other small fry are in small corners. The Drengin are going to give me the most trouble but shouldn't be too hard. They (Torians) will not attack me even though we are polar opposites in alignment and could kick my butt. They are too busy trying to take over minor civs (who would have thought those minor civs could get so many ships). They must be being supplied from an exterior source HEHE. (DUh you think it's the humans commander esssscargot?) They so love that Torian Crack we're giving em. Then, when they least expect it....POW!!!!! HELLOW BOYS!!!! WE'RE HERE TO CURE YOUR ADDICTION!!!! Lets salt these slugs!!!. I think I have this one won baring any major "Random" events. But I have the double whammy luck bonus hehe. After a couple at normal, I shall up my difficulty to the next level.

Hey, I'm watching and waiting Pontius. But, you know, if I'm going to " 'Consider joining' " GROSS, I have to work on my mouthing off skills. Right? It'll be good to see you hang an evil win on your scoreboard. I remember reading something about a minimum of 5 required. Was that to join or to lead? Stick with 1.31, you'll get puffier scores that way. 1.35A just isn't worth it. (Here's hope for 1.4)

I have this image of a bunch of little dudes all stacked up like a totem pole and the one on top is shouting about being the tallest player in the NBA.

On a more serious note, lets hear some evil strats. Here's two from the Goodfellas at La Cosa Nostra:

1) How to win a war with one ship.

This works on AI levels < Challenging. Once you have clear military domination, but don't want to waste the fuel to send your battle group all the way across the gigantic galaxy. . . find something nearer to your planets, like a starbase or a freighter. Attack it. As soon as war is declared, jump to the diplomacy screen and offer peace for as many planets as possible. Turn your funding to destabilization and then watch their planets revolt quickly, one by one.

Turn their military production off of whatever puny little resistance defender they were building and make combat transports. Load the transports up with the citizens of whatever race you just subjugated, start the process over again.

2) Scorched earth

On Painful+ levels, in galaxies where habitable planets are a scarce resource. When you're at war with a civ who is more powerful than you are, send out suicide squads to take over planets you know you can't keep. Make sure you use PQ killing invasion tactics. You could just torch the colony, but it is much more evil to use that planet to buy a few more months of peace and then watch them kill their own colony rather than keep it.

(But if someone has too much time on his hands: play on Gigantic, entrench yourself, get in no one´s way, research up to tech victory. Boring, but that´s where the big pts are, by the incomprehensible Wisdom of Stardock

Coffee: they are attempting to address that in 1.04. Get it as soon as it goes off beta. It will probably score you better.

I agree. I could have had a couple thousand more points even on Gigantic. But I'm not willing to sit for an extra 6 or 7 hours, bored, knowing I've won, sitting here in what amounts to flipping a light switch on and off to run up a score.

I don't have much of a problem with bigger maps scoring a bit more. After all, they take more time.

What I have a major issue with merely hiding in the corner on a gigantic easy map, hitting turn, fending people off untill I get a tech win (EVEN THOUGH 3 COMPUTER CIVS BEAT ME TO IT!!!!!) and scoring the big points even though the computer technically whipped my butt. And that is happening alot. If it happens that way with me I just won't submit it. In my opinion, that's a loss, not a win and should be scored as such.

But it's not like they meant it to be that way. They just score things you get doing that higher. Hopefully, they'll make a few adjustments.

LMAO Gypsy. I'll scorch the place, have another transport waiting fly it to my new planet, load everyone I can on it, leaving virtually no one there. The AI then takes it back, meanwhile, I move all of em on to the next one.

Another trick I pull is to choose the one that destroys improvements only (the tidal surge I think) take it, move everyone off, then watch the computer take it back only to have it revolt right back (free citizens) because all the morale and influence boosters and some of the population are gone. (Myself selling the darn things that were not destroyed on the turn I had it.) I took about 20 planets my last game that way with only about 2500 total soldiers. HEHE.

Oh and 1.02 was the puffy score version. I never got that one.

Oh yeah, another Painful+ AI strat:

3) Seems like the aliens always are warring with someone. This strat requires 2 of your more powerful ships and 1 constructor. Park the 2 ships outside the resource starbase of a civ you can't afford to go to war with, but still need to chip away. Park the constructor on the other side of their resource starbase. Jump to diplo, find out who is at war with the owner of the starbase, and then _give_ your ships to them. (This will buy you some better relationship so you can live longer to spank them later.) They will use their new ships to immediately attack that starbase. Next turn, slide your constructor over onto it and claim it. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.


1.03 is pretty puffy too. 1.35A was just reamed. Broke my heart. Evil, inna bad way.

The Glorius End of several minor Civs courtesy of G.R.O.S.S. is at hand. Alexians, I-league went bye bye. now go go smash a couple Altarian starbases and demand a planet as the price of peace. Then, the rest of their lil ole empire will be culturally assimilated. It seems they like Kentucky Fried Drengin too. it goes well. should be submittable soon.

Hey I just joined the G.R.O.S.S. empire (at least I thought did) and I'm not evil, go ahead and join.

Forget the thing I just said I thought I was responding to earlier post.

Eric. Try again. If you've registered your character with the metaverse, it should take you into the empire. But remember registering here with the forum does not get you registered over there. Once you are registered over there, you then can use the join empire key to join our empire. Just click on Gross and use it. I suspect you may not be tied in to your email over there. Either that or there's a system problem. Our empire shows open. So that isn't your problem.

Ok folks lets keep those games coming and the recruits pouring in. And above all. Get Rid Of Slimy AlienS!!! signing off for the eve. Getting close to another win. Boy these games sure take awhile. HEHE.

#140 "Oh and 1.02 was the puffy score version. I never got that one. "

Too right Pontius. And guess which version the ANZACs have kept playing? Never *fully* trust an ANZAC. After all, Oz sent ships to the first desert war. Oz is negotiating a "free trade agreement" to get Oz wheat into the States. And Oz raced Suzie against Misty Hymen. Doh.

I knew it was a goody goody conspiracy. But just wait till those scores are normalized. Yeah right. I'll believe that when I see it. You'll plummet.
And you seem to have stirred it up over on the Euro-Alliance thread.

"We'll strum em like a guitar" Doh

Pontius: Actually the ANCACS and Canadians would be worthy to join us. Perhaps they will do so later. In the meantime, as things stand, there are two viable strategies to grow in the Metaverse:

1) Churning out tech wins on Gigantic Maps.
2) Recruitment and Mergers.

As I find difficult games on Small Maps vastly more interesting than score milking, I will focus my contributions to G.R.O.S.S. on 2).

Here is an idea: How about a merger with the other non-regional Empires? Let´s say, for starters, Culture, Washu, Fnord, Benzoians, Fun Ball and the Sovereign League. Their leaders should be allowed to join us as Senators.

If they accept our offer, we will be #3, or even #2, and then, from a position of strength, we can make a similar offer to Imperia Galactica. Perhaps even rename to "Imperium G.R.O.S.S.".

This will catapult us into unassailable #1. What say you, Pontius?

As I have said before, if G.R.O.S.S.'s empire name changes....I WILL defect. No ifs, ands, or buts, and no questions...bottom line. I joined G.R.O.S.S. ...I don't remember joining anything else.

~SDC~