Oh My God!!!

Someone Call 911!!!

from JoeUser Forums
I just got a paper cut!

It's bad... oh so bad.

I can see the bone!

Blood is spurting everywhere!

I think my finger is going to fall off!

I can barely manage to type this!

I need prayers! Lots of prayers!

Oh wait, I'm an athiest.

I need donations! Lots of donations!

Getting my finger re-attached is going to take some coin.

I'm going to pass out now.... goodbye.
blogging
5,273 views 17 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Clearly what you need to do (assuming you survive, and once you've recovered) is to sue the paper company for failing to include a warning on the packaging that cuts may result if you handle the edges of the paper in certain ways. I figure $50 billion should cover your medical expenses, damages and emotional trauma.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
I figure $50 billion should cover your medical expenses, damages and emotional trauma.

That's a good idea. Hopefully Sir Peter owns that company. He's got deep pockets.

Oh, I'm blogging from the hospital, by the way.
Multiplicity - Control multiple PCs using one keyboard and mouse
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

Oooh, you're wicked!

Which hospital?  Just so I can verify.  Gotta do my 'Miss Marple' bit ya know, make sure you're being truthful and all.

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
By the way, as you requested, I went ahead and called the 9/11 Commission for you. They'll be adding an appendix to their report covering the dangers of processed wood pulp in the commission of terrorist attacks.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
By the way, as you requested, I went ahead and called the 9/11 Commission for you.


Gah! By the time they decide anything I'll be deader than Ben Affleck's career!
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hey now, I thought "Jersey Girl" was actually a pretty good movie.

Besides, he's always got his mad poker skillz to fall back on.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Jersey Girl was a good movie because J-lo dies...
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oh CS, I'll pray for you! Please don't die!
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Oh CS, I'll pray for you! Please don't die!


No! No! No! Didn't you read the post? I need DONATIONS not prayers.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
I will have to pray for you, because all I have to donate right now is some pocket lint and my leftovers from lunch! Besides, you need prayers for you salvation now as well!
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
I got back late to the office... is it too late to pray? (even though you don't believe in it?) is it too late to send money? I'm so worried that my money won't get there in time...
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
No! No! No! Didn't you read the post? I need DONATIONS not prayers.


Ooooh, or maybe I'll prey on you...
Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm so worried that my money won't get there in time...

There's always time for money.
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
There's always time for money.


Hmmm... just like there's always room for jell-o... mmmmm.... jell-o
Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
is it too late to pray? (even though you don't believe in it?)

You can pray if you want. I'm not one of those athiest zealots that get offended at the slightest hint of reiligion. I'd have a hard life if I were since I don't know any other athiests.
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
I'm agnostic, is that close enough?
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
Wont you just die?

Eventually.

but i can sacrifice a 3 toed goat in your behalf,

Hmmm.... goat. The other juicy delicious meat. Roasted, sliced thin, and served with some grilled onions and peppers... and maybe some Feta. Hmmm.... goat.