the dangling conversation

http://www.loserturdmafia.com/
from JoeUser Forums

don't you just HATE it when you make a chance remark that leads you into a horrible revelation that you didn't want to make ?.

aka ... it's awful when you have to say something BIG to explain something SMALL ? ;)

case in point ... this is an actual conversation i had recently:


friend of 4 years: "i'm surprised you never dated a professional kind of guy"

me: "i sort of did once. a psychologist. years ago. well ... we went on 3 dates, anyway"

fo4y: "you did ? ... you never told me THAT ! ... when ? ... where did you meet him?"


(uh-oh. here we go again ...)


me: "i met him at the relief centre after our house burned down many years ago"

fo4y: "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT ? "

me: "i ... um ..."

(insert interruption to my sentence via friend howling with outrage ... here)

fo4y: "your HOUSE BURNED DOWN ... you NEVER told me THAT ... i CAN'T BELIEVE your HOUSE BURNED DOWN and you NEVER told me ... you're unbelievable, you KNOW that ?"

(insert me now wondering who really has something to be upset about ... here)

me: "well, it was a very long time ago. and we were all fine ... yes, it was awful, but it wasn't the horror everybody imagines it would be, either"

fo4y: "but you didn't TELL me that YOUR HOUSE BURNED DOWN"

me: "do you need me to hit you ? are you stuck ?"

fo4y: "there's no need to be NASTY"

me: "i just wish you wouldn't keep saying it like that"

fo4y: "is it painful for you ?"

(insert me. now seething. (i happily recovered from this "disaster" quite quickly. it really disappoints people when i'm not traumatized) ... here)

me: "no. not at all. it affected my mother more severely than it did myself, but she's fine now"

(insert fo4y sniffing at a hope of suffering and throwing self at it (in manner of british teenager spotting david beckham) ... here)

fo4y: "oh, you're always thinking of others. you have suppressed your own pain !"

(insert me. completely over the whole stupid conversation and tired of being poked like a zoo animal ... here)

me: "i am NOT suppressing ANYTHING. we had insurance. yes, it was horrible. but it was JUST a HOUSE and it's OVER"

fo4y: "i can't BELIEVE you ... you're so secretive ... why are you LIKE that ? .... and TOUCHY ... GOD ! ... like i already told you, there's just NO need for you to get UPSET ... i UNDERSTAND how you feel ..."



ugh. somebody kill me ;)
blogging
1,979 views 10 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top

as soon as the conversation started going to hell, I would have just started making a joke out of the whole thing...


"yeah... it was after my house burned down... I could have sworn I told you about that... Don't you remember?  It was right after my dog ran away and I wrecked my car!  Don't you remember?  That family of Mexicans was living in my backyard at the time?  And I was selling crack cocaine to pay the bills?  ... see, there's all kinds of stuff you never knew about me... "


hahahahhahaha


w/any luck, the fo4y would forget all about it, or at least not be able to tell what you're being serious about and what you're joking about... if it came down to it, you could always cover it all up with a sarcastic, "like I would ever REALLY date a psycho!"

Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
you mean i should tell the TRUTH ?

michael, lol, next time i have a phone call like that, i'll know who to field it to.

mig XX
Sins of a Solar Empire II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
OMG Mig ..do we share the same friend?

Jess
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
jess ... ... is it an australian "thing" maybe ? to stick your foot in your mouth ?

maybe it is, 'cause muggaz is kinda good at it too
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
- nice name dropping n00b!!!

If your foot was as tasty as mine, you would eat it too.

BAM!!!
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
well muggaz, i HAD to name drop, pet.

i'm so stupid and boring that nobody would come in here if i didn't talk about you ... especially you yourself, my dearest

i have to pretend you're my friend, muggaz. you're so young and popular grrrrrr.

and, as we all know, i am just a sad old lady with several dogs and a bad temper.

(oh, don't answer that ... the woman's a BORE, i tell you)

touche ?

mig XX
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
You false insecurities are refreshing...

we all know how fantasmagorical you are... so quit your harping woman...

BAM!!!
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
hey ! stop that ! ... don't you come in HERE and say endearing things that might make people LIKE me

ps: if you call me a n00b once more, i am going to re-christen you "sex-on-a-stick" very LOUDLY and very PUBLICLY in a blog with a title of "photos of muggaz having sex with a sheep".

as we all know, everyone in the known universe (plus a few beyond) would visit my blog to read this article.

i will refrain. only because this would make me a high-ranking blogger for very dodgy reason.

and we all know how everybody hates THAT, right ?

oh my god ... if anbody should now happen to search google for the term "PHOTOS OF MUGGAZ HAVING SEX WITH A SHEEP", they will get my blog.

and i will not be able to deliver !!!! ... all they will find is THIS stupid comment.

aww, muggaz, be a lamb, would ewe pet, and fire off a few polaroids next time ? ... there's s good boy

shazbot ?

mig XX
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
crap... that farmer promised me there wasn't a camera within 10 kilometers...

damn lying country bumpkins... how much you want for the photo darling?

I cant help it, its just all females that find me irrisistable... not just humans

BAM!!! or should I say RAM!!!

hehe...
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
you can never trust us country-folk, muggaz. we are all inbred and can't speak properly.

and i could never sell my precious photo of ewe and "rambo" ... didn't you read my article on beastiality ?

oh wait, i didn't write one. jess just turned it into one for me

i apologise for finding you resistable, muggaz. i will have to try harder.

and as for the sheep thing ... oh, baa !. never mind, ewe ... whatever stirs your sauce, sugar ... and RAM ... you should change it to "RAM", i agree.

the mildly sleazy-in-a-schoolboy-way connotations suit you, precious

hi- ho silver ?

away.. lol ... mig XX