Morning Noise

from JoeUser Forums
With palms together,
Good Morning All,

It is Friday morning and it seems the whole world is alive outside my window. Machines in the desert are clearing in order for builders to build. The displaced birds are sitting on the branches of bushes arguing with each other about what it all means. I sip a cup of coffee and listen.

There, in the corner of the courtyard area is Penny, a bulldog who, while a girl, is just as ugly as can be. She snorts, salivates, and farts and she does this having a pink collar announcing she is all woman.

We can never take things for what they seem to be. We are always redefining our limits, pushing the envelope and saying yes to no, no to yes, and in so doing, creating a space for us to be as we are in the moment unfettered by the past.

What a wonderful world.

Be well.
37,995 views 9 replies
Reply #2 from WinCustomize Forums Top
very well written post...


Agreed.. and I'll add, If I had a dollar for every female that said SHE didn't fart I'd be able to buy at LEAST three master skins   
Start11 - Customize the Start Menu and Taskbar in Windows 10/11.
Reply #3 from WinCustomize Forums Top
If I had a dollar for every female that said SHE didn't fart


Not meaning to hijack your thread Sodaiho but I'm reminded of something that happened about 10 years ago.

My wife and I had taken my son (then 4 or 5 years old) on a day trip and on the way back we stopped at a Olive Garden restaurant.

We were sitting at a table next to 3 elderly women who were dressed just so-so. My son was at that age where he was real interested in body functions and I had to speak with him about burping loudly in the restaurant. One of the ladies overheard and turned around and said thank you. About 10 minutes later the same lady leaned over pick up a napkin she dropped and let go a barely noticeable fart. My son turned around, pointed at her and said "I didn't do it! She's the one who farted!" loud enough so that the entire restaurant stopped talking. I can still see the look on her face...........
Reply #6 from WinCustomize Forums Top
  THAT reminds me of the time when I was 6 and my sis was 4 and we were at a doctors office with my Mum, my Sister points at a rather overweight lady across the room and asked very innocently and quite loudly .. Mum, why is that lady sitting on two chairs??   
Reply #7 from WinCustomize Forums Top
There, in the corner of the courtyard area is Penny, a bulldog who, while a girl, is just as ugly as can be. She snorts, salivates, and farts and she does this having a pink collar announcing she is all woman.


I always wondered what happened to my first wife after I divorced her on grounds of extreme flatulence.....obviously she accepted that no other man would be insane enough to marry her, so donned a pink collar and ended up at your place.

If I had a dollar for every female that said SHE didn't fart I'd be able to buy at LEAST three master skins


If I had a dollar for every time my first wife farted I'd have enough to buy Stardock ......not to mention Microsoft, Apple and a couple of small countries.

THAT reminds me of the time when I was 6 and my sis was 4 and we were at a doctors office with my Mum, my Sister points at a rather overweight lady across the room and asked very innocently and quite loudly .. Mum, why is that lady sitting on two chairs??


Reminds me of when my son (8 at the time) kept staring at a man with one leg and (also rather loudly) asked why it was so. Before I could speak, however, the man snapped: "I lost it up the backside of a nosey little boy who asked too many questions that were none of his concern!!" My son immediately cowered & hid behind me, thus not seeing the wry smile or the twinkle in the old bloke's eye afterwards.
Reply #8 from WinCustomize Forums Top
i HAVE to ask.. was the one legged man... A PIRATE ??     
Reply #9 from WinCustomize Forums Top
i HAVE to ask.. was the one legged man... A PIRATE ??


No, not a pirate, but he was a rather large man ex-navy with a rather rugged looking appearance, which I guess is what frightened my son....

Poor bloke lost his leg during the Falklands war....was a navy cook and asleep below decks when an Argentinian missile hit the ship he was serving on.

Funny thing,though, once the initial fear had subsided and my son realised the old bloke was having a 'lend' of him (pulling his leg),he took kindly to the old bloke and over time they became good quite friends.